Ending a Fling or Relationship (day 30)

We are at day 30 of our 31 Days to Better Game series.? A couple lessons ago we dealt with managing a relationship.? While many of you may not set out looking for a relationship, at any given moment you might find yourself in one.

Sometimes you don’t even realize that what you have is a relationship until the girl points it out to you.? This next lesson is on how to deal with ending relations with a girl.? This could mean ending it with a girl you’ve been sleeping with for a couple weeks, or a girl you’ve been dating for a couple years.

day 30

Ending a Fling or Relationship by Bobby Rio

There comes a time in every player’s life where he is forced to end relations with a female he no longer enjoys spending time with.? The irony of this, is that you will probably find it is more difficult to end it with a girl than it was to get her.

It is never easy to end things with a girl… and every situation will be different.? But there is one constant rule that does not change.

The longer you wait to end it the harder it will be.

Now that you’re out meeting and dating a variety of girls you’ll quickly find that you won’t be on the same page as most of them.

This is because while you may view her as “practice” or “fun for the moment” or “somewhere to dump your load” she may have completely other thoughts running through her mind in regards to what the two of you have together.

Eventually you are bound to hear one of these 3 evil questions:

  1. Where do we stand?
  2. What is this?
  3. Where is this going?

If you’ve been dating a girl that you have no intention of making your girlfriend… than you need to change the way you view these 3 questions.

I used to hate when a girl asked me one of these questions.? I used to fear it, and pray that things will roll along at the status quo.? I hated the way I had to lie or change topics or be extremely vague with my answer.? And what I hated more, was when months later, when I finally had the balls to end it, the girl would throw it in my face how I should have just been honest with her back when she asked “where this was going.”

Well, now I’ve learned to love when a girl asks me one those questions… because I’ve learned to just be honest with her.

When a girl doesn’t ask “what is this” and lets thing go along like everything is fine… that is when it is exceptionally hard to end it.? In that case she doesn’t give you an out, and you have to be the one to address the situation.? This is a lot harder than it seems.

I wrote a post awhile back called Why You Shouldn’t String Girls Along where I talked about the negative effect stringing a girl along has on your personality.? The longer you date a girl you have no real feelings for the more resentment will grow inside of you. That resentment is unhealthy for your soul.

This is why you should use the opportunity most girls will present you with and come clean and be honest with them.? If a girl asks you “where this is headed” and you don’t see it turning into a long term relationship, tell her.? Tell her why.? She will respect you for your honesty.

Many guys will continue dating a girl they have no feelings for simply because they are scared to be single or unable to give up the steady sex.? This is not the mentality that a true player should have.? There is an abundance of women available.? The minute you free yourself up from one girl, you’ll be amazed at how quickly more will flow into your life.

In yesterday’s lesson I talked about how if you’re really good in the bedroom you can usually keep sleeping with girls long after they’ve realized that you’re not going to be their boyfriend.? But this needs to established as soon as possible.? If you lead a girl on for six months and then tell her that you don’t have feelings for her other than sexual.. it will be a lot harder to make the transition.? If you let her know this after a few weeks than it is more likely she will keep you on the side as a booty call.

The secret to ending a relationship is honesty.? The more you try to sugar coat a break up the less likely she will feel the break up is for real.? If she doesn’t feel its for real than she will be filled with hope that you will get back together.? You need to crush that hope.

I know that sounds mean.? But it is a lot meaner to let a girl waste two years hoping that you’ll finally see the light and be what she wanted.? She can’t have those two years back.? As hard as it may seem to tell a girl you don’t love her or don’t want a relationship with her, this will actually allow her to move on and get over you.

Ultimately it is all about living with integrity.? The right decision may not always be the easiest.? But you’ll find that if you continually are honest with yourself and others your life will be a lot less complicated.? You will also find that you feel better about yourself, and your sense of self worth will increase.

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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

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