When You Can’t Text, Call – A Rundown on Phone Game Basics
Snagging the digits of babes is a deceptively glorious feat. While it testifies to the strength of your game, there’s no guarantee of any future romance. It’s what happens after getting the number when the men separate from the boys, the players from the herbs.
While it’s highly recommended you play it safe and navigate her number to a date via text (thus creating more “great moments in text message history”), sometimes that’s just not an option. Maybe she’s old fashioned. Maybe she can’t write and, subsequently, maybe she’s 5-years-old. Regardless, once in a blue moon a situation will present itself where you have to sack up and actually make a phone call.
I think it’s safe to assume we all know how not to follow up on a number. Just think of that cringe-worthy Swingers scene where Mikey pathetically professes his neediness and insecurities to the answering machine of a girl he just met. Yet how many of us have also ruined great interactions because we were clueless on how to work a phone number?
Well, don’t let Alexander Graham Bell cock block you ever again. Despite the advent of cell phones, phone game basics remain the same. And with some hot tips, you’ll be converting those digits into hot dates.
The “3-day rule” is a myth. The longer you wait to call, the longer she has to forget the reasons she gave you her number in the first place. Follow up either the day you met her, or the next day. The idea is to get her on the phone while she’s still buzzing from the initial interaction. This way she’s more inclined to answer your future calls, or return your voicemails. Not only does it get her comfortable taking your calls, but it also alleviates you of days of needless pressure worrying about “what to say.”
Everyone fears awkward phone silences – especially during the first call. After exchanging pleasantries, don’t let the conversation go stale by being unprepared. Have a story or social commentary ready to carry the conversation for the first minute or so. I’m not suggesting you deliver a Shakespearean soliloquy, but a quick and punchy anecdote will grease the wheels of good conversation. Get her relaxed and she’ll be more inclined to share (read: babble), allowing you to kick back and listen.
The best time to call is when you’re out-and-about. While it may seem counter-intuitive, the less focused you are on the call the better. As opposed to sitting in front of the phone and fretting over the outcome, calling while you’re on the run keeps the conversation light, spontaneous, and fun. Additionally, it shows you lead a busy, interesting life devoid of neediness.
Talking on the phone is great for getting to know someone, but only after the first date. You don’t want her thinking of you as just a “phone friend.” While it’s important she’s comfortable talking to you, too much comfort will land you in the dreaded “friend zone.” Before the first date, no phone conversation should exceed ten minutes. Also, don’t let more than three conversations end without making plans to meet up. Setting up a date was the reason you took her number, right?
If you get the voicemail, do not take it as an opportunity to wax poetic. If you project a needy, creepy, or weepy vibe on the voicemail, not only will she not call you back, but she might also play your voicemail for the comedic enjoyment of her friends. So avoid the situation altogether by applying the KISS method and keep it simple, stupid. Take the advice of that stud Joe Friday and deliver “just the facts.” A hello, your name, and an invitation to return your call is all that’s necessary. (here’s more tips on leaving a girl a voicemail)
If she gave you her real number, you obviously did something right during the initial interaction. And reminding her of those high points is a great way to inspire future meet ups. It shouldn’t be too hard to figure out what she liked about you. The jokes and commonalities you shared are the ingredients that’ll reignite her sizzling attraction. Sprinkle them into the conversation and she’ll be salivating to see you as soon as possible.
Ultimately, attractive women give out their number to lots of guys with the intention of only meeting a small percentage of them. While it’s a sobering truth of modern dating, make sure you’re of the chosen few by running solid phone game. Keeping these tips in mind the next time you score some digits will make sure the romance doesn’t end after the beep.
About Rob J. Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.