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3 Ways to Instantly Turn a Woman Off and Kill Any Attraction She Felt

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signs you're a pushover

signs you’re a pushover

How to LOSE a Girl in 10 Days or Less

Sometimes guys over think “game.” We are all guilty.

We try to make it into something much more complex than it is.  But in reality, sometimes a minimalistic approach works best. This simply means:  DON’T SCREW IT UP

Over the years I’ve watched plenty of guys who have never read “The Game” score high quality chicks. But they usually screw it up pretty quickly.

This is because sometimes (especially if you’re meeting a girl within your social circle) she WANTS to give a guy the benefit of the doubt. She wants to WANT him.

But he doesn’t let her.

There are three basic “rules” you want to keep in mind once you’ve scored a bit of attraction from a woman, or even as you’re attempting to attract her.  These three rules will prevent you from screwing things up.

Three Ways Guys Blow It with Women

1.  Compliance Reduces Attraction

Women want men who are leaders.  They want men who are in control of the situation. They don’t want a man that they feel they can dominate or tame.

RulesWhen a man scores a woman he is attracted to, he usually goes into “don’t blow it mode” which usually has the exact opposite effect. He tries so hard not to blow it… that he blows it.

When she starts talking about her ex boyfriend for an hour, instead of cutting her off and taking back control of the conversation he allows her to lead it in the direction she wants. When she spends twenty minutes texting one of her friends during a date, instead of calling her out on her rudeness he sits there passively waiting for her to bring her attention back to him.

A woman does not want a man she knows she can walk all over.

2.  Neediness, Clinginess, Possessiveness

Even the most “alpha” men have a habit of turning into a clingy little pansy when he finds himself with a girl he believes is “out of his league.” These men become so insecure that the woman is going leave them that they actually scare her away with their neediness.

Women don’t want needy men.

They don’t want a man who constantly calls them.  They don’t want a man who admits his feelings too soon.  And they don’t want to have to worry that you’re going to turn into some possessive stalker type.

3.  Pleaser Behavior

This is something that guys just don’t seem to understand.

When you’re overly complimenting her, or buying her drinks, or offering to do her favors, she KNOWS the real reason. She knows you want something from her. And there is something damn repulsive about someone who is “sneaky” about what they are after.

Yes, the more you try to “please” a woman, the more likely you are to scare her away.

The Anecdote for this Behavior

The thing with this behavior is that it is universally “ugly.” This means as guys we find this just as unattractive as woman do. We don’t want needy, clingy, or possessive women. We don’t want women that ALWAYS agree with us. And we don’t want women who try to win our affection by baking us cookies, or buying us things, or trying too hard to please us.

So here is a quick mental shift:

Imagine yourself getting the attention you’re giving. If you’re about to send a girl a message on Facebook , write it out fully, and read it pretending that she just sent the same message to you.

What would you think?

The same can be said about text messages (especially if you are drinking). Send the message to yourself.  Have the experience of opening up your phone and reading the message as if she sent it to you.

What would you think…

What would you think if a woman you hardly knew kept complimenting you?  Or offering to buy you things?  Or getting jealous that you were hanging out with your friends?

Try it. And you’ll be a whole lot less likely to blow it.

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About Bobby Rio

I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

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9 Comments

  1. Facebook User

    November 16, 2009 at 12:08 pm

    Great post Bobby. A must read for guys.

  2. D

    November 17, 2009 at 1:01 am

    I think my issue is, I’m too commnicative. I don’t shower with affection or tell women how awesome they are, but I think I have a tendency to let them know a little too much about me before I try to move in for the kill.

  3. Rob Judge

    November 17, 2009 at 1:32 am

    this is really solid stuff

  4. Karl

    November 18, 2009 at 1:15 am

    I really question the leader thing. I see so many couples where women lead the guy around and so many situations where the woman leads the conversation,ect. The leadership thing so so overblown. Lets just face it – women today are empowered. Why do they need a man to lead them? They dont. Yes you can argue its instinctive or something but they want what they want and they will get it. Its that simple.

    • Bobby Rio

      November 18, 2009 at 8:42 am

      Totally disagree. Yes, women lead men around… but they resent the man for it. And eventually she gets sick of it…. and looks for a real man.

  5. Jammer

    April 8, 2013 at 5:56 am

    Compliance builds attraction… the other way around.

    The only thing worse than a clingy/needy/possessive woman is a clingy/needy/possessive man… and this is speaking from MY point of view.

  6. Nicky

    May 18, 2013 at 11:52 am

    I actually like when women are clingy and compliant. Makes it easy for me to do what I want.

  7. Matt

    July 29, 2014 at 10:08 pm

    I haven’t done those three things at all lately. But, I also haven’t done enough of the right things either. Wish I had tried the self-texting thing earlier. :/

  8. gjk

    May 3, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    Hahahaha, he wasn’t a real alpha then.

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