Big Mistakes Guys Make Using PUA Openers, Part 3
This is the third article in my three part series of the biggest mistakes guys make when approaching women and using pick up artist openers to start a conversation. In the previous two articles we’ve discussed coming in too shy and timid, coming in too strong, invading her personal space, and using cheesy pick-up lines to start a conversation. Another big mistake that you might be making is avoiding her friends.
When you avoid her friends you put her on the spot. You make her like the center of attention and it gets her guard up. It also makes her aware of the fact that you’re this strange guy talking to her, and she doesn’t really want to seem too easy or into you to in front of her friends. Because of this she’s going to be really weirded out, and will probably close herself off.
Not only that, but ignoring her friends is also most likely going to lead to you getting cock blocked. Women – especially fat girls – fat girls hate, hate, hate it when a guy just starts talking to the hot friend. Usually within minutes the fat girl is going to start saying, “I want pizza, let’s go”, or she’s going to come up with some reason she’s got to leave. So if she’s with the girls, or even guys, you want to start off the conversation talking to everybody. Not only that but it really makes you seem cooler and more social if you can do that.
Another mistake one is getting overwhelmed before approaching.
That just means that before you even walk up to her you build it up way too much, you start planning it out way too much. Worse, you start thinking way too much about it. And that comes across to a girl very quickly. She knows if you have been building it up in your mind of what you’re going to say, and that comes across. So you don’t want to build it up. You don’t want to let yourself get overwhelmed.
And the truth is, if you have been sitting there, staring at a woman for an hour, trying to think if you should talk to her, don’t anymore. Just forget about her, and talk to the next girl you see, because that girl – you’ve got too much mental energy invested in her. And it’s going to come across to her.
So the final mistake that I wanted to talk about is energy level.
You want to go in and match her energy level. This helps you achieve rapport. You don’t want to come in as a downer. You don’t want to be like the timid guy who comes into a group of people having fun, because it’s going to throw off the balance of the energy. On the same token, you don’t want to come in super high energy. If you watched “The Pickup Artist”, the show that was out on VH1 a couple of years ago, the winner, Simeon, Mystery kept telling him “Tone your energy down”, because he had that super, like meth-head energy talking to a girl. And if a girl is not like in an extremely, extremely party mood, or really drunk, and you come in on a really high energy, that’s going to throw her off and weird her out a little bit too.
So you want to match her energy level, maybe be a little bit more energetic than her. Wherever she is at you want to be one notch above her, just to bring her up to your level, and get her more excited to talk to you.
So those are the big mistakes:
Timidness, coming on too strong, invading her personal space, using cheesy pickup lines or buying her drinks, ignoring her friends, getting overwhelmed before approaching, and coming in at a different energy level than her.
If you can avoid those, you’re doing better than 90% of the other guys approaching her. If you use a good opening line to start the conversation, you’re doing better than 95% of the guys out there. And if you can make good small talk, keep a conversation going, and build attraction, you’re in the top 1%.
Go get her.
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.