When She’s Frigid
She?s super hot, but she freezes up when you try to get intimate. But with a little patience, you can coax your bedroom buddy out of her frigid shell.
You have to find out where her restrained behavior comes from if you are to have any hope of changing it. Prudes are afraid to express their sexuality either because they are immature, or because they have been taught to repress their sensual side. This is often from a religious or moral influence. To counteract this, you have to show her that her sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of and can be plenty of fun if only she lets it out.
You might be contributing to her being a prude, without even realising it. Do you throw around words like ?slut? and ?whore?, and badmouth women who sleep around? You could be scaring your girl off being adventurous in the bedroom because she doesn?t want you to judge her as slutty. If you take a positive attitude to women?s sexuality, she will be less afraid of showing you how kinky she can be.
The worst thing you can do with a frigid girl is push her into sexual activities which she does not want to do. This doesn?t just mean physically- giving her an ultimatum is just as counterproductive. You don?t want to emotionally damage her, which will make things worse in the long run. Even overdoing it on the dirty talk can serve to make her more uncomfortable and push her away. Exercise understanding and patience with her, and if all goes well she will soon be comfortable enough around you to express her sexuality.
When it?s not her issues but rather her beliefs which cause her to be frigid, having a discussion about why she feels sex is wrong may show her that she?s denying herself pleasure based on a fallacy. Don?t try to tell her she?s wrong- ask her what her beliefs are, and point out the inconsistencies in her reasoning (moral arguments against sex for pleasure usually defy logic). Your objective is not to convince her to have sex with you- it?s to point out to her that she is abstaining for no good reason, and to let her make a decision based on that.?
If the problem is that she is embarrassed to be sexual, try turning the lights down or switching them off completely. You may find that in the darkness, her embarrassment disappears! Take things slowly and eventually she will overcome her insecurities.
You?ve tried to encourage her, you?ve given her time, and yet you?re seeing no improvement. Should you end things with her? Yes. She?s clearly not ready for an adult sexual relationship. Perhaps she is mentally too immature, or she has issues that she needs to work out. Ultimately, they?re not your issues to resolve and you have to let her deal with them on her own if she isn?t receptive to your efforts.
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About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/