What To Do When A Girl Goes Cold On You…
Women are terrible at texting…Or at least they CAN be.
Especially when they’re not 100% sold on a guy.
Let me ask you a question… Have you ever been attracted to a girl who stopped texting you back?
Maybe it was after she gave you her phone number, and she never replied?
Or maybe it was after a date that you thought went well, and you just never heard from her again?
For the purposes of this post, we’re not going to get into the WHY this happens because we could speculate about the reasons all day — ranging anywhere from she simply didn’t know how to respond to your text, all the way to she is just not that into you.
Whatever the reason may be, in this article we are going to talk about what YOU should do the next time a girl “ghosts” you.
The first thing you’ve got to know is that whichever side of the coin you choose to focus on — positive or negative — your mind will tend to run with it.
For instance, by thinking “Why is she not responding?” your thoughts will quickly turn into “Is she mad at me?” which then turns into “Is she with another guy?” which eventually leads to “what did I do wrong?”
By focusing on the negative,you are only going to feel worse, and as a result you will sabotage any chance of you ever dating this girl. And not to mention, these thoughts completely distract you from meeting any other women in that moment.
Here are a few ways that I’ve found to work for me and the thousands of guys I’ve coached…
1 – DO NOT keep looking at your phone every few minutes hoping for her response…
As the old saying goes “Out of sight, out of mind.”
The biggest mistake that guys make is keeping their phone in plain view, and then constantly thinking about “why is it taking so long for her to text back?”
And because they keep thinking about it, they make the dreaded mistake of DOUBLE texting her.
In today’s world of texting there is nothing that conveys “neediness” more than a guy who keeps texting her when she take a little longer-than-normal to respond.
Trust me, constantly looking at your phone is not going to make her reply any faster.
So the next time you’re in a texting conversation with a girl, send your text, and then put your phone out of sight.
Heck, maybe when she does respond, you will be the one who takes longer than normal to respond simply because you haven’t been looking at your phone every 3 minutes. Leaving her to wonder “Why hasn’t he responded to me yet?…”
This is obviously a great position to be in. Which brings me into…
2 – DO start asking yourself positive questions that will FUEL your self-esteem the next time a girl ghosts you…
For example, rather than asking “Why is she taking so long to reply?”…
Start asking “Is she really trying to play hard to get with me right now?”…
Or “Isn’t it cute how she is so nervous about texting me that it’s taking her this long to think of what to say back?”
When you use these moments to feed your emotional state, the next time you happen to cross paths with her it will be way easier for you to be fun, indifferent, and challenging to her.
So in these moments, quickly ask yourself a few positive questions in the moment to put yourself into an awesome state, and then mentally move onto something more important in your day.
Like pursuing your passions in life. Or getting a great workout in at the gym. Or charming the really cute girl at the coffee shop… You know. Guy stuff.
3 – DO keep your options open…
“The man with options always wins.” — tattoo that statement to the inside of your skull.
By keeping your options open and dating multiple women at the same time, you automatically devote less mental energy to that one girl who started to distance herself.
Just imagine having 5 girls that you are constantly setting up dates with…
If one girl decides to go cold on you, you probably would not even notice because you have 4 others to worry about. This is called living in a state of “abundance”.
Most guys, who get labelled as “needy” or “creepy” or simply don’t have much experience with women, are coming from complete “scarcity.”
Meaning that when they finally find a girl who is attracted to them, they do everything they can to NOT mess it up — which as a result just makes them less natural, and more needy.
No matter where you are in your dating life right now, make the commitment to yourself that you will work your A** off until you have complete and total abundance of women in your life. Take mini steps everyday to get there.
If you can do that, then I guarantee ONE girl ghosting you will never phase you again.
But what if you don’t have abundance yet?…
4 – DO NOT make her your purpose in your life…
Never make attaining any ONE girl your life purpose.
Let’s face it, if you ever get emotional about a girl not responding to you, or ghosting you, then it’s likely because you have nothing better going on.
What is your purpose?
Do you want to be the world’s greatest DJ?
Do you want to be the most respected surgeon in your city?
Do you want to be the greatest vlogger on YouTube?
Just make sure that it is more important to you living a fulfilling life than dating “that one girl who quit texting you back.”
This will give you more perspective, and will also create the same effect of keeping your options open by dating multiple women.
Just think about it… If you have been editing videos all day because you want to be the best Youtuber in the world, then when a girl flakes on a date you planned with her, you will actually be relieved because you now have more time to work on your bigger purpose!
Which brings me into my final point. The ONE thing that can skyrocket your results with women overnight…
5 – DO make your initial interaction with her more enticing…
Let’s face it, sometimes girls don’t text a guy back because they’re simply not that interested.
And it has very little to do with how “witty” his text was…
…Versus if it’s from the guy who she had no interest in to begin with.
So become better at flirting with her, building anticipation, and sparking sexual tension when you are with her.
If you have ever had women “ghost” you, then it’s likely you have forgotten that texting, and phone game, is just a supplement to interacting with her face-to-face.
Just know, a girl is way more likely to respond to the confident guy who she had an interesting, banter-filled conversation with for 30 minutes… Rather than the guy who nervously asked her for her number after a 3 minute conversation, and then quickly ejected from the conversation.
Listen. I hear you. Being ghosted sucks.
But with these 5 simple tips…
You’ll be the guy who women are constantly wondering about in no time.
P.S. You are a badass.
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About Patrick James Patrick James is the coach and creator of #RawDatingAdvice. A brand that influences thousands of men from over 83 different countries each day. He is the author of multiple best-selling books, including 107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl and The Magnetic Personality Formula. Patrick is most known for delivering RAW dating advice that works with pinpoint accuracy, and he is regularly asked to speak to crowds of 400+ for his input on specific and “unsolvable” dating problems. You can check out Patrick's best-selling book for FREE at www.HowToGetTheGirlNow.com