How Learning Dating Will Transform Every Aspect of Your Life
Remember when you first started studying dating advice and you couldn’t stop thinking of The Matrix? When it felt like you “swallowed the red pill” and suddenly everything seemed to make sense for what was REALLY going on.
Why did I end up in the friend zone? Oh, it was because I was too nice before she was attractive!
Why did that conversation get awkward? Oh, it was because I let it get too logical with “interview-style questions” without flirting or teasing.
And so the dating advice rulebook goes…
It’s one of the most empowering and gratifying feelings in the world to put a concept into action and see it work. I remember in my own experiences, having been pretty frustrated with women and dating for most of my life, flirting with attractive women for the first time felt like I’d just landed on the moon.
I was bursting with excitement and possibility. I obsessively worked on my “dating skills.” I was amazed and elated every time I made progress. And then, one day, it dawned on me…
…what if every aspect of my life was within the locus of my control?
That question is one almost every successful student of dating advice eventually asks himself. It’s like taking the “red pill” permeates into every aspect of your life.
Hate your job? Find a way to become another way to be financially successful and quit.
Feel out-of-shape? Find a diet and exercise plan that will change the shape of your body.
And so the self-development rulebook goes…
It may seem ridiculous that all this stems from wanting to become better with women, but—for whatever reason—it does. There just seems to be something so…so…liberating!…about giving yourself to power to finally have options in your dating life. That liberation ends up transcending flirty conversations and fun first dates and impacts everything you do.
Personally, for me, I’ve always wanted to be a good guitarist. Unfortunately, I’m musically challenged. No rhythm. No ear for tone. And no stage presence whatsoever. Even though I practiced religiously through high school, I only got to an intermediate level.
In college and early adulthood, I pretty much gave it up. I occasionally would pick it up and strum a few chords to relax, but I just wrote off guitar as “something I’ll just never master.”
Recently, that attitude has changed.
Just as I learned “the rules” of dating, I realized there were “rules” to guitar I could learn, as well. My fingers seem sluggish on the fret board? There are techniques to fix that. My timing and rhythm sounds off? There are habits that can change that. While it hasn’t been easy, I’ve recently made some serious progress in my guitar playing.
More importantly, I’ve unlocked myself from the mental prison cell of “I just can’t do it.” After improving my dating life, improving my financial success, improving my fitness, and improving most other aspects of my life, I now believe I can do anything. Call it confidence, but I just think it’s a fact now.
That, in a nutshell, is what I want you to walk away with today. Guys sometimes get discouraged when they hit a plateau or sticking point that they can’t surmount. Unfortunately, some guys give up when this happens. Just realize: if you give up, you’re programming yourself to believe “I can’t do it.”
It may sound cliché, but dream big and don’t let your yesterday’s failures stop you from making progress today. Much as I’m enjoying mastering the guitar today, I regret all those wasted years I let it collect dust in the corner of my apartment because I was too discouraged to keep at it. Get good advice and then put that advice into practice, it’s a simple formula.
Stick with it like your whole life depends on it—because, in a lot of ways, it does.
About Rob Judge Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in Scottsdate. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness. Get Coaching with Rob: https://www.tsbmag.com/private-coaching-with-rob-judge/