7 Ways To Make Her Fall In Love With You Chatting
So you meet a new girl that you’re really into. In the back of your mind, maybe you even think she’s out of your league.
In 2018, the beginning of any new fling is probably going to be texting or chatting online. That means it’s up to you to find ways to make her fall for you- or at least express interest- before you get to spend much time in person. That’s just how it works. How you talk with a woman is going to change drastically over the next few years…
For the sake of this article, let’s pretend you just met the girl. Maybe you’re still talking to her through a dating app. The goal? To get her interested enough to see some potential in you solely from chatting with you.
Here are 7 ways you can make her fall for you without being there in person. Each option has a “Do Now” attached to it. Be bold and take action!
Every guy on every dating app leads with the same array of first texts:
“Hey, what’s up?”
“I don’t know what else to say, but you’re very pretty.”
While both will get you answers, they aren’t exactly mind-expanding first messages. Every girl has had both of these things sent to her many times in her life. You’re just adding to the pile. The chances of her falling for you from something so unoriginal are low.
Do Now: Scour through her dating profile or social media page and try to connect something that she’s listed. Don’t reach, but be original. This might take 3-5 minutes to do correctly. Say something to her that no one else has ever said to her before.
As you start talking to her, find ways to share information about yourself while still being discreet. Girls do not like guys that are too forward. Confidence is one thing, but being aggressive with your pursuit is another.
If you want her to fall for you, be a little mysterious. Get her to ask some questions, too. She’s telling herself a story about you just like you’re making up a story in your head about her. Let her tell herself a good one.
Do Now: Mention something without fully explaining it. If possible, connect it to your conversation. Shape it so that she has to either ask a follow-up question about what you said or connect the dots herself.
One (seemingly contradictory) method for getting a girl to fall for you is to pull back once in a while. Girls are used to guys that pursue them with all they’ve got. They view men who stay a little reserved as confident and alluring. She wants to know why you aren’t pursuing her like other men do.
There will be opportunities while you chat to withdraw slightly. Don’t feign indifference. Stay interested, but don’t give her everything you’ve got at once.
As the Navy SEALs saying goes, “Slow is steady, and steady is fast.” Apply that to your dating game.
Do Now: Slow things down. Stop telling her so much about yourself. Or try tip #4.
She’s going to quickly pick up on your lifestyle based on when you text her. If you go radio silent all day and only text at night, she’ll assume you are busy with work or may think you are serious about your career. If you only text during the day, she may assume that you are out partying or dating other girls.
While texting during the day is okay sometimes, do the majority of your texting early on at night. She will see that you are not out partying and giving her attention during your free time.
Both of these things will show her you’re interested and reliable, which will help her fall for you.
Do Now: Check the clock. Is it past 6pm? No? Then don’t text her yet.
Too often, women are surrounded by men that have no confidence. It might seem appealing to have the opposite gender be at your disposal and willing to do whatever you want, but it gets old and vanilla after a while.
To get her to fall for you, tease her. Make jokes about something awkward she told you from her childhood. There’s obviously a fine line between joking and being rude, so be careful not to cross it.
You’ll see what type of sense of humor she has pretty quickly and she’ll see that you don’t have her on a pedestal. She’ll like it more than you may think.
Do Now: Scroll through your conversation and see what topics or things she’s mentioned could be used as joke material later.
Girls love guys that remember the details. Most guys are too focused on themselves to recall things about other people. When you show her that you pay attention, she’s going to pay attention to you.
The best part about this tip is that you’ll acquire more material as you get to know her. Find ways to connect stories or be inquisitive about new details that emerge from her life, asking if things she’s already shared connect or apply.
Do Now: Take a mental note of everything she’s shared with you, even if it’s a small detail. Find ways to connect those in your conversation right now.
Without being weird or too forward, ask her about the big-ticket items in any girl’s life: her family, her friends, things that make her happy, etc.
Girls want to feel important. When you give them an opportunity to speak about the most important things in their lives, they usually take it.
The major auxiliary benefit of asking about the big things is that knowing this information will give you an idea if you two are going to hit it off long-term. You’re able to give her a reason to talk about important things while seeing if it’s actually a good fit: a win-win.
Do Now: Feel her out. Is she close with her family? Does she have a tight-knit group of friends? Whatever her thing is, come up with a way to ask about it honestly and deeply.
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About Ben Kissam American coach and sports psych based in Germany. I use psychology tools to make informed decisions about dating and life.