Is Calling A Woman On The Phone Outdated?
Once upon a time, when you asked a girl out, you got her phone number. Then, after waiting an appropriate amount of time, you picked up your landline phone, dialed her number and hoped she was home to talk to and ask out.
It was a primitive time. One that required being tethered to a device that was attached to the wall.
“Mobility” was simply related to how long your telephone cord was. Some folks, with fancy 10+ foot cords, could actually walk into other rooms while talking.
Now, everything has changed. Mobile phones are attached to hands as commonly as fingers are. Communication has become so “on-hand” that many folks don’t know what a landline is.
Whether it is text messaging, video chatting, snapchatting, tweeting or any number of other app functions, we are more connected than ever.
But what about voice conversations via a good ol’ fashioned phone call? Do they happen? And, are phone calls considered relics of the past?
Most of the reasoning surrounding not making actual phone calls is rooted in irony. You see, phone calls are kind of personal or intimate for many people. Women and men alike can be self-conscious about their voice or ability to carry on a conversation.
Texting is easy. No one can hear you stumbling on words. No one sees you say the wrong thing, then delete it and retype the correct thing – unless autocorrect chooses to have a sense of humor. Human frailties are less noticeable via text. But isn’t a personal conversation what you want with a woman?
Men, in all their “piggish glory,” love apps like SnapChat, Instagram and similar, because they feed the visual stimulation men want. Getting involved in a conversation with a woman quickly devolves into sending hot photos, pushing the “relationship” quickly to a point of intimacy.
However, while women are often feeding into this mentality, it isn’t truly where their heart was headed. They find themselves giving into this subjectivity, often aping it as well, thus killing the intimacy of romance in this new situation.
Finally, phone calls are more often than not seen as unwieldy, clumsy uses of time. Being on a phone call can restrict your freedom in a conversation, unlike keeping busy while waiting for a text to reply to. Carrying on a 45-minute conversation via text is seen as “more convenient” than the 10-minute call needed to relay the same information.
It is a conundrum, but there are still plenty of women out there that don’t mind a phone call because they see the important things it can deliver.
The most impactive thing about texting is how easy words and meaning can be misconstrued. This isn’t to say that good conversation cannot be had by text, but any intelligent man needs to be prepared to explain something he said or load that text with emojis to make it all clear.
A phone conversation does not have this burden. Yes, you can easily say something that is misunderstood. However, you can hear yourself say it and quickly reiterate your point in a clearer fashion.
This is where the personal edge comes in with phone calls. Men are visually and auditorily stimulated. When we can hear a woman’s voice, especially during romantic conversations, we get a much better sense of where we stand.
Women are prone to “feel” more from a voice conversation. While video apps may take things to this personal level, men can easily shift the encounter to something more sexually visual and ruin the “courtship” they were hoping for.
Another advantage of phone calls is timing. Phone calls force both parties to be present in the conversation. If one person is lagging in the conversation, it is easily spotted, though less likely to happen. With texting, waiting five minutes, an hour or even half the day, can be the norm when “waiting for a reply.”
With a phone call, you get on-the-spot details of what is in a woman’s head, right now. She may have a lot of things to say, but the burden of typing it all out leaves many things unsaid.
One of the primary things that a phone call offers is honesty. Although men and women alike can be dishonest about themselves when getting to know someone, it is less likely during a phone call.
The reason is that lying via text is so much easier than lying and having to hear the words come out of your own mouth. Women want honesty in a relationship, as do men, supposedly.
When we are consciously talking via phone call, we feel a more personal connection to the person, thus making lying that much harder to do. Multiple intimate triggers are being hit, which not only make us act more forthright, but builds stronger bonds with the person on the other end.
This question will always be subjective. You will meet women who are adamant about not wanting to be bothered with phone calls, while others can spend hours embroiled in conversation.
No, I don’t believe the phone call has gone the way of the wolf just yet. It is a viable piece of the dating puzzle. For men, I can promise you that talking on the phone is something you want to do. You want to explore the mystery of her voice and really get a feel for who she is. If you can’t get a face-to-face meeting just yet, a phone call is your best bet.
You don’t want to sit around waiting for a text. Especially if you are the type of guy who feels he is being ghosted after waiting seven minutes and thirty-two seconds for a reply.
Phone calls are an intimate communication avenue. Use it as such. If a woman thinks it is stupid or a waste of time, consider who you are dealing with. Figure out why she feels this way and determine if it is a larger issue that you want to avoid.
About robertbrasher A creative writer for many years, with experiences in many areas. People fascinate me, and stoke my desire to educate the masses on the madness we can and do create in this world. Through writing, we pass knowledge; through understanding, we pass tradition.