Is Jealousy Ruining Your Dating Or Romantic Life?
Every day many men find themselves walking a razor thin line. It is the line between protecting our woman and being irrationally jealous.
One is rooted in confidence, while jealousy is rooted in the lack thereof.
It is not unusual to expect that many women enjoy a certain amount of jealousy in a man. It makes them feel special and cements the value of a man’s feelings for them. But, I would be remiss if I did not point out that there are a lot of men that take it too far.
You see, what women want from your jealousy are the words. She needs to hear that the thought of another man touching her makes you crazy. She doesn’t want you to be crazy – actually, there are some women that do want this, but I won’t go into that right now.
To really understand how women feel about jealousy, men need to understand the difference between jealousy and being her protector.
Often men confuse what they think a woman sees as jealousy. And, therefore women take issue with how other perceived “threats” are handled. Let’s look at a couple of examples:
When any man belittles, insults or degrades your woman, whether by action or word, being a man and intervening is never wrong. Men defend a woman’s honor. Don’t think she is going to see this as jealousy. She knows that it is only you doing the right thing.
When a man politely walks up to your woman and starts a conversation – the expectation is that you aren’t there by the way – he isn’t doing anything wrong. Many men, upon seeing this, will act out, verbally and physically, to proclaim their “ownership” of this woman. Some will go so far as to “hunt” down someone that they heard was talking to their woman. This is jealousy.
Now, as her man, if you were to walk up and introduce yourself to this new “friend,” you will find that little else is needed to dissuade his interest. Men aren’t talking to women so they can end up in a fistfight. For most, the bother of a taken woman is enough to move them on to freer pastures.
A lot of men have an irrational fear of losing their woman. That some guy can just come up and sweep her away. Though it is a bitter pill to swallow, these men need to get a grip on their own insecurities.
The question most men will ask is: “How do I stop being jealous?”
The answer is to figure out what is making you insecure. There are root causes, and they are either your issues or your partner. Yep, it could be all her fault. However, most times it is something within yourself that diminishes your confidence.
So, what keeps your confidence down? Is it your looks? Your clothes? Your job? Your car? Which one of these things are you telling yourself that she is so focused on that you can’t be confident about it?
Is it early in the dating relationship and you aren’t the only guy she is dating? Is she a free spirit that doesn’t want to be tied down? There could be any number of guys in her life at the moment, right?
I could keep listing blocks for your confidence all day.
What men have to realize is that none of these things matter. If one of these things is going to make her succumb to the charms of another man, she was never yours to begin with. And, if you are in a full-blown relationship with her, there are real issues to deal with; any of these others are just a symptom.
Some women like to play games. They like to “make their man jealous” as a test of his faith or commitment. These women are playing games all the time, which means you have bigger issues to deal with.
However, some women are just damn sexy. They can’t walk out of the house without being looked at, if not a full-on approach. What are you going to do?
I say enjoy it. I don’t care who your woman is, if you find her sexy someone else probably does as well. She is going to be looked at. Embrace it. This is a woman who wants to be with you. Enjoy the jealous looks other men give you when they see her. Wear it like a badge of honor, and step up if anyone takes their admiration for her to a disrespectable level.
If your woman likes to dress slutty, guess what, that was probably something that attracted you to her. Don’t stifle her because she has you now. You want her to go places with you while dressed sexily because you enjoy looking at her. Just suck up the fact that others will too. Let it turn you on and point it out to her so you can share in the turn-on together.
I can promise you that getting back home will be a bit more fun.
The days of the caveman have passed. Clubbing a guy for looking at your woman is a weakness. If you did this with every man who checked out your woman, your day would be full of beatings. She is with you, and spewing jealousy over every other man that she is NOT with, only pushes her away.
About robertbrasher A creative writer for many years, with experiences in many areas. People fascinate me, and stoke my desire to educate the masses on the madness we can and do create in this world. Through writing, we pass knowledge; through understanding, we pass tradition.