How To Win A Girl Over After She’s Rejected You
One word answers. Not looking up from her phone. Verbally stating her disinterest. We’ve all been there…
The question is: how can you turn this around?
This guide offers some tips for capturing a girl’s interest after she initially rejected you.
The biggest mistake a lot of newbies make is that they give up too early.
They try their opener, then run away if the woman isn’t immediately excited to meet them.
No no no.
It’s rare that she’ll be immediately hooked into the conversation.
Usually, she’ll need warming up. After all, you’re a stranger. You could be dangerous. You could be weird. Of course, her guard will be up.
It’s not her job to contribute to the conversation yet. Even if she wanted to, it’s not always easy for her in a cold-approach situation. She’s nervous, she’s unprepared, she’s unsure about you.
So relax and KEEP TALKING.
There are different types of opener.
You could direct about your intentions. You could open with a little tease or a push-pull statement. You could ask her opinion on something, or make an observational statement about your surroundings.
A big mistake is to keep trying the same type of opener after the first one didn’t hook her interest.
Let’s say you opened with:
“Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice you look really nice.”
…and she rejects you off the opener.
It would be bad to take a second swing with:
“I mean damn, you look just so good in those jeans.”
“You’re really hot. You look like one of them Scandinavian catwalk models. Meow!”
“You’re were my type – so I thought I should say something.”
These are all the same type of opener! Direct. Why are you expecting it work the second time around? The definition of insanity is to try the same thing but expecting something different.
You’d be better off trying one of the other approaches in bold above, until you find something that resonates with her.
Of course, I’m not harassing her and not taking “No” for an answer. It’s generally accepted that you can re-open up to four times as long as you’re playful and respectful
I want to make it clear that a lot of women act cold as a default. It comes from the hundreds of creeps that have hit on her over the year.
Don’t take it too personally. She’s not rejecting YOU. She doesn’t even know you. She’s just rejecting your approach.
If you’re getting girls being instantly cold more than 20-30% of the time, you probably need to work on your opening.
Evaluate whether your tonality, volume or assertiveness can be improved. Are you smiling? Are you squaring up? Does your body language indicate you expect her to stop?
Honestly, it’s much easier to evaluate this if you’ve got a wingman or a coach…
The hottest girls tend to be the biggest ice queens.
I guess they’ve been exposed to the most losers trying to get into their panties.
Still, if you can remain composed in spite of her icyness and re-open using a different approach, the set can warm up like a tropical beach as the sun rises.
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About Joe Elvin Joe Elvin travels the world working remotely as a lifestyle writer and confidence coach. Throughout 2017, he filmed his entire dating life as part of a national television documentary in the UK. His new book 'The Camera Never Lies' details the brutal truths about dating and relationships learned from this experience. You can learn more about the book and download the first chapter for free by clicking here >>