How To Find Love: 5 Steps To Getting Your Dream Woman


Finding “the one” requires a slightly different approach 

Are you on the hunt for a long-term relationship?

Perhaps you are reaching the age where you want to find that special woman to start a family with?

Well, if you haven’t found her already, it might be that you’re making a few mistakes in your pursuit.

It may well be that you’ve elevated your game to attract some good women into your life. 

But when you’re looking for a woman who’s ‘wifey’ material, there are a few extra steps you need to take.

Below is a list of five important steps you need to take to maximise your chances of finding your “happily ever after”.

Step #1: Decide what you want 

This might sound obvious, but a lot of guys don’t take the time to decide what qualities they actually want in a long-term partner.

Too many men are happy to settle for the basic bitch criteria: 

  • She’s hot 
  • She likes me
  • She’s not annoying

This is probably fine for a one-night stand or even a casual relationship (in fact, perhaps some dudes will settle for only 1 out of 3), but surely you need more to put a ring on someone’s finger? 

The question is: what do you need? 

Write down at least 4 of 5 non-negotiable qualities that your dream woman must have – then stop spending time with women who don’t have these traits.

If you’re serious about finding your true partner, you don’t have that time to waste.  

Honestly, this exercise is important whether you’re looking to settle down or just date casually. Women want to date men who have standards. By screening to see if she has the right personality for you, you create the space for her to chase you.

This is essential when trying to win over high-quality women. 

Step #2: Become the type of guy that your ideal partner is likely to want 

Now you know what type of partner you want, it’s time to consider what kind of guy that she will typically be interested in. 

You don’t have to alter your whole personality to attract specific types of women, but there are certain changes you could make to boost the odds of her being attracted to you.

For example:

  • A fit and athletic woman will most likely want to date a man who is also in shape.
  • A sophisticated hipster chick will probably want a partner who also keeps up with fashion, art or culture.

Makes sense, right?

And, of course, this pursuit of your dream woman becomes a lot easier when you have nailed all the fundamentals of what makes an attractive man.  

Step #3: Go out and meet a lot of women! 

The more women you’re out meeting, the higher the likelihood of you bumping into the perfect one for you. 

If you’re not currently meeting the types of women you’re most into, perhaps you need to ask yourself where this type of woman likes to hang out.  

Sure, you might meet a classy, well-educated graduate at an illegal drum-and-bass rave, but there are plenty of spots where you’re more likely to meet them.

Our guide on the best places to meet women might provide some inspiration.

Step #4: Be vulnerable 

A lot of guys remain in the ‘fuckboy’ phase for longer than they would like, because they are scared to become emotionally close to a woman.

Often, there is some trauma from the past that causes this. 

Maybe you’ve felt it in the past, then subconsciously sabotaged a potential relationship with a great woman. 

Well, if you have, it’s time to be aware of this behaviour. More importantly, it’s time to stop it!

To experience true love, you have to learn to trust this one special woman with your heart. Yes, you’re risking a painful heartbreak when you do this – but that’s the risk you have to take!

Once you choose a woman and she chooses you, love her without holding back. Hopefully, you’ve chosen a woman capable of doing the same. 

Step #5: Refuse to settle for less 

Sometimes you’ll date a woman and not fall in love with her. That’s OK. 

Occasionally, you will fall in love, think a woman is perfect for you, then realise she isn’t. That’s also OK. 

However, it’s not OK to waste time in a relationship you know isn’t right for you.

A lot of guys do this because they’re scared of being lonely and don’t believe they can do any better.

But they’re only prolonging their misery by sticking around in an unsatisfying relationship.  

And by doing so, you’re giving yourself even less time to find a woman who is right for you. 

You only have a limited amount of time being young and sexually relevant. 

So, when you know that a relationship isn’t right for you (and deep down, you always know) then get out quickly!

It’s a brave step to take – but it’s better than settling for mediocre. Most mediocre relationships end up dying a slow and miserable death, anyway. 

Finding true love isn’t easy. You’ll meet a lot of bad eggs and probably get your heart broken a few times. But it’s those who refuse to settle for mediocre that end up getting their happy ending.


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Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.

Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.

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About Joe Elvin Joe Elvin travels the world working remotely as a lifestyle writer and confidence coach. Throughout 2017, he filmed his entire dating life as part of a national television documentary in the UK. His new book 'The Camera Never Lies' details the brutal truths about dating and relationships learned from this experience. You can learn more about the book and download the first chapter for free by clicking here >>

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