How To Avoid Arguments In A Relationship

Your guide to limiting and/or quickly solving arguments with your partner?

Arguments are the worst part of having a girlfriend or a wife.?

However, they are almost inevitable.?

In fact, they are part of a healthy relationship. You shouldn?t be trying to avoid arguments with your partner.?

In this guide, you’ll learn how to limit unnecessary arguments in your relationship, how to disagree in a healthy way and quickly come to resolutions that satisfy both of you.

Why you shouldn?t want to avoid disagreements in a relationship

If you?re not having any disagreements in a long-term relationship, it usually means one of two things.?

  • You?re folding to all of her demands because you?re scared to lose her.
  • She doesn?t make any demands or gives in straight away, because she?s scared to lose you.?

The first option is not worth it at all. Not only will a woman walk all over you if you let her, but she?ll also usually tire of having a spineless partner and leave anyway.??

This second option might seem great to you, but you should know that this woman is eventually going to be frustrated with feeling unheard and disrespected. This will cause future conflict, and she?ll eventually pluck up the courage to leave you for someone who respects her opinions.?

So, the solution to a happy long-term relationship isn?t to avoid disagreements. It?s to have them in the right way.?

The right and wrong type of arguments

There are two types of arguments that occur between a couple.?

  • Competitive. When both people have their own interests in mind and are fighting to win.
  • Collaborative. When both people are debating what?s best for the relationship as a whole.?

Competitive arguments are simply a matter of strength and willpower. The partner with the most power in the relationship will eventually win. This is the partner who is the least scared of breaking up.

Still, the loser of these arguments nearly always walks away feeling more frustrated and resentful. As such, they?ll usually cause more conflict and eventually leave.

With collaborative arguments, both partners are likely to ?win? as often as the other. In reality, both feel like winners because the resolution leads to a more balanced and happy relationship, where they both feel respected and cared for.

Needless to say, if you want a healthy long-term relationship, you need to be having collaborative arguments. Always consider what resolution is best for the relationship as a whole. Whenever you?re making your point, make it clear that you?re doing this.?

If your partner refuses to argue collaboratively, it could be that she senses you?re scared of her leaving you, and will fold to her demands. This might seem like the easy option, but she will continue to do so if she can get away with it.

If she only ever acts in her own interests, you need to leave.?

The best position to be in?

You should strive for a relationship where your woman doesn?t see you as spineless – and is a bit afraid of a break-up because you?re just that awesome.

However, instead of taking advantage of her, you should still encourage her to share what she needs from you – and to let her have her way if it?s best for the relationship as a whole.

When you have the power but don?t abuse it, that?s the formula for a long-lasting relationship.???

A few tips to resolve arguments quickly and peacefully?

  • Don?t get personal. Focus only on the issue at hand, not who they are as a person. If you make the argument personal, they?re likely to feel hurt, resentful and prolong the argument out of spite.?
  • Empathise with their point of view. Show your partner that you understand why they feel the way they do. Until they feel heard, they may not open up to consider your feelings.? ?
  • Apologise for any wrongdoing. If you?re stubborn about admitting something you?ve done wrong, they may be stubborn about letting you have your way in the argument.?
  • Show love. Always remind your partner you care about them – and that it?s important to solve this issue for the good of the relationship.
  • Compromise. Most disagreements in relationships will be solved by both partners conceding a little bit of ground. As the man, take the lead by proposing what you?re willing to concede and what you?d like back in return. If you?ve followed the previous steps well, you should be able to reach a satisfactory compromise.

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About Joe Elvin Joe Elvin travels the world working remotely as a lifestyle writer and confidence coach. Throughout 2017, he filmed his entire dating life as part of a national television documentary in the UK. His new book 'The Camera Never Lies' details the brutal truths about dating and relationships learned from this experience. You can learn more about the book and download the first chapter for free by clicking here >>