Why Speed Is Crucial When Approaching Women
It?s time to stop waiting for the ?perfect moment? to approach a woman.
You might think you?re doing yourself a favour by hesitating, but it?s actually ruining your chances in many different ways.
Let?s start with the obvious reason.
Opportunities disappear. The future love of your life might be about to jump into a taxi. She could be moments away from making an important call. Some other guy might be about to swoop in to buy her a drink.?
There?s no guaranteeing a situation will get easier if you wait. Your chance to speak to her could slip away within a few moments.
Then, all that?s left is to wonder ?what if??
Would you two have gone on a date? Would you have had mind-blowing sex? Could you have made hundreds of memories together in a loving and passionate relationship? Would you have got married, or made a baby boy with her eyes and your ears? You?ll never know.??
It?s actually quite intimidating. Why would you risk hesitating on that initial approach and not finding out??
True love is sometimes a matter of seconds and inches.?
Yet, the reasons to approach a woman immediately go even deeper than that.??
The #1 function of the brain is to keep you alive and comfortable. It is designed to stop you from doing anything that is scary, dangerous or difficult – and it has plenty of clever ways to do just that.?
The moment you hesitate, you alert your brain that something is up.
Within an instant, it goes to work to protect you against that uncomfortable thing.?
Your heart begins to race, your limbs get heavier, you fantasise about everything that could go wrong. Before you know it, you?ve either waited too long or found an excuse not to approach at all.?
Thankfully, it is possible to bypass your social anxiety by bypassing hesitation.
Instead of waiting for the perfect moment, move your feet and introduce yourself straight away!?
You might think that having nothing prepared to say is a bad thing.?
In most cases, it?s helpful.
Most women actually hate the idea of men preparing a special ?pick-up line? to win them over.?
Whenever you say something that sounds too well-prepared, watch their eyes roll and their attraction plummet.?
There?s no point planning anything past your opening line either, because you have no idea where the conversation will lead.
There are a million-and-one things that could happen within the first few seconds of an interaction. Perhaps her friends will show up from nowhere. Perhaps the people she was surrounded by will leave. She might say you?re handsome, or tell you to go eat a dick. It?s impossible to plan beyond the first moment, so why waste your mental energy doing so???
Genuine, spontaneous approaches work best. Yes, it helps to know the basic structure of cold-approaching a woman. But, beyond that, I?d recommend approaching with nothing prepared beyond your first couple of words.??
Most guys will never try this because they?re terrified of running out of things to say.
Yet, in reality, there is no reason to fear this.
For starters, your overall vibe is far more important to a woman than the content you?re presenting. Even if you admit that you?ve run out of things to say confidently, she?ll respect that and help you out.?
But it probably won?t come to that. Because in this situation, your brain actually works harder to find some words for you.??
Remember, your brain wants you to avoid discomfort. So, once you?re actually in that scary situation, it will do what it can to help you succeed. Yes, your brain switches teams once you?ve actually started the conversation.?
See for yourself! Go stop a woman with nothing prepared and watch yourself magically find things to say.
The more you do this, the more you?ll trust in your faculties and realize you never need to craft a pick-up line again.??
Women are surprisingly perceptive. If you?re staring at her from a distance, pondering over the best time to approach and the right thing to say, she?s probably noticed.
The problem is: she might not know you?re a sweet anxious guy who?s nervous about meeting her. She might think you?re a serial killer who?s plotting how to murder her.?
Either way, it?s not the most attractive signal to be sending.???
Here?s what is attractive. A man who sees what he wants and goes after it without hesitation. Women love confident go-getters. Approaching them immediately is a great way to show you?re one of them.??
Plus, as a bonus, you don?t give her time to be creeped out.??
This might sound like an intimidating idea, but once you get into the habit of instantly approaching women, it becomes easier. Mostly, because you?ll begin to notice better reactions from them.
The 5 Second Rule, where you count backwards from five and move your feet before zero, is an effective technique to get you started.??
So, why not commit to implementing this rule into your life today?
About Joe Elvin Joe Elvin travels the world working remotely as a lifestyle writer and confidence coach. Throughout 2017, he filmed his entire dating life as part of a national television documentary in the UK. His new book 'The Camera Never Lies' details the brutal truths about dating and relationships learned from this experience. You can learn more about the book and download the first chapter for free by clicking here >>