The Evolution of My Game
There was a bit of discussion in a recent post where I stated that its best to learn one system or style of pickup rather than taking the best of everybody and mixing them all together. I stongly believe you have to find what style of pickup that works for you and invest time and energy into learning it.. until you have it perfected. Once you are running solid game, and more importantly have a strong foundation of inner game… Then.. You can do whatever the fuck you want!!
Lately I’ve been getting a bunch of comments and questions asking me what style of game do I run. And answering that question isn’t really easy. The only thing I can describe it as is “natural game”. In fact, its been so long since I’ve consciously been aware of what I’m doing during a flirtation or pickup that I’ve almost started to believe I was a natural. But, of course that is far from the case.
I think that’s the evolution of a pickup artist. I started as an average frustrated chump. I had my awakening period, which also involved some experimenting with Speed Seduction in college(worth a whole post in itself.) My awakening period lead to a long term relationship. And then the evolution began!
It started with three books: Double Your Dating, The Art of Approaching, and Venusian Arts Handbook. By the time I picked up these books I already knew enough to know “I didn’t know shit.”
The first thing I studied was Double Your Dating. Cocky/funny was my shit. It came natural to me so it was great to have David help unleash the beast that was inside of me lol. And I was a master at cocky and funny. I was getting laid left and right within my social circle. I was the fucking star of my social circle. But there was something missing.
What I realized was that cocky/funny worked like a charm for me in situations where I had some built in rapport with a girl.. but I would often fall flat on my face when I was cold approaching a girl in a bar. The problem was that without built in rapport of a social circle my cocky funny was going over their heads. For me, DeAngelo had done enough to teach me how to get laid easily once I got the date, but I was still having trouble opening new girls.
So I bought Joseph Mathew’s Art of Approaching. The book was quite long and pretty different than Double Your Dating. But it was exactly what I needed to keep the evolution going. It was filled with openers, in depth examination of body language, guidelines for effective flirting, and was the first book that introduced me to the importance of storytelling. This book gave me concrete real life word for word examples. Now, did I use those examples word for word. No. But my reading Mathews openers I was able to see why my cocky/funny wasn’t working on the approach. And now with Mathews and DeAngelo’s help I was on fire.
I’m not going to lie and say that Mathews completely cured every bit of approach anxiety I had ( I don’t think I’ll ever be 100% free of approach anxiety) but I was 100% more confident going into a set than I had been before Art of Approaching. And I was seeing the results which led to even more confidence.
By this time cocky/funny was no longer something that I consciously worked at. I didn’t stand in a bar thinking of cocky things to say or how can I show a girl I’m alpha. These traits were now just part of my personality. And once the transformation takes place mentally, then you BECOME this person. Which means, I no longer viewed myself as someone practicing to get laid. I viewed myself as a GUY WHO GETS LAID.
The Venusian Arts Handbook was bought out of greed. I had visions being the greatest pickup artist in the world. The Handbook, which is available now as Magic Bullets, was a goldmine of knowledge. It broke the whole thing down so precisely that I would actually feel like I was playing chess when I went to a bar. Like Style said “Rinse Wash Repeat” is what it became for awhile.
What Venusian did though was bring back that inner sense of doubt. Because Mystery laid it out so perfectly I no longer was trusting myself the way I had previously. My game went from laid back party guy to structured PUA.
I was a “born again natural” who was making things more complicated then they needed to be by going after things I didn’t really want. I remember one night I was walking through a club with a wing I didn’t really enjoy hanging out with (but seemed to be with him all the time simply because he was a good wing) and we’re entering a set of girls I had no desire to talk to.. (but they were the hottest in the club so we felt we had to) and it was at that moment I realized that I didn’t want to be a pickup artist. I wanted to be able to meet, date, and sleep with the girls I was attracted to. And I had already achieved that. It was a liberating feeling.
In a post called “Pickup Artist vs. Players” I talked about why I consider myself a player and not a pick-up artist. Don’t get me wrong; It was my desire to be a pick-up artist that made me the player I am today.
So, coming back to the original topic of; what my game has evolved into?
My game revolves around being fearless in all areas of life. It is about having an “inner knowing” that things will work out for me. It is about a never ending curiosity towards all people. It is creating the life I dream about and finding the right people to bring along on the journey. It is openly exploring my passions. Its loving the feel of a naked woman lying next to me, and knowing I can have that feeling over and over again. Its about fucking up and forgiving myself for it. Its about going balls to the wall when the situations calls for it. And staying cool, calm, and in control when it doesn’t. Its KNOWING that when one beautiful girl walks out of my life, another is waiting to walk in. Its trusting my sense of humor. Its the desire to see people smile. Its giving for the sake of giving. And taking what I have coming to me.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.