How to Get Your Female Friend into Bed- Part 2 (day 27)
This is the 27th day of our 31 Days to Better Game series. This is part two of our lesson on turning your friend into a lover.
Part one of this lesson dealt mainly with spending about a month away from your friend, and everything you should be doing during that time. We talked about improving yourself physically, building up your social circle, creating jealousy and confusion by being distant and vague.
In today’s lesson we are going to talk about how to handle the interaction when you finally see your friend again. This is extremely important as you don’t want to ruin the tension and anticipation you’ve built up over the previous month.
How to Get Your Female Friend into Bed by Bobby Rio
If you are serious and strict about following the plan I laid out in part one of turning a friend into a lover then you will have built up an ample amount of tension and anticipation. It is critical that you immediately capitalize on this built up tension. It is extremely easy to slip back into the status quo if you drop your guard.
Lets talk about how to capitalize on this built up anticipation.
When you finally decide to hang out with your friend again you need to invite her to an event that is on your terms. This means inviting her to a party you’re hosting or a night out with you and your friends. The goal of this first meeting is to display the “new” you in action.
Once you’ve established a meeting point ( bar, club, party) you need to arrive there early. Once you get to the location you need to establish yourself as the social charming guy of the evening. Hopefully you’ll have invited some other girls you know as well. If not, you need to begin making new friends immediately. When your female friend arrives it is critical that you’re already engaged in some conversation with attractive women. If you haven’t brought girls with you, then you need to be an opening machine. I don’t care if you have to open every set in the bar… find one that sticks.
When your friend finally arrives you should be talking to some girls. You are to acknowledge her, but do not immediately run to her side. Let her feel a little awkward and uncomfortable for awhile. How many times has she done that to you?
I just want to add something in: Do not get too drunk. You can easily ruin everything you’ve been working for by losing control of your self and saying or doing the wrong thing. I would maintain nothing more than a good buzz throughout the night.
During this evening you should be bouncing back and forth between your friend and the other girls in the location. For the short intervals that you spend with your friend the conversation should only consist of light and flirtatious talk. It is important that you spend this time building sexual tension through teasing her and using kino.
The time that you spend with her you need to be quickly escalating the kino. Sexual escalation is more effective because it is less ambiguous: hold her hand (use an excuse of looking at her rings or bracelets or nails if you need to); put your arm around her, touch her hair (likewise, use an excuse). These things are things that lovers do, and friends dont. Youll need to use a combination of these touches to shift out of the friend zone.
You also need to be sure to break rapport. She will most likely try to suck you into talking about the same old status quo topics the two of you always discussed. You need to take control of the frame and subtly let her know that you’re calling the shots now. If she starts talking about some guy she’s dating-change the subject at the first chance you get. Or better yet, tell her you going to get a drink and go talk to another girl.
Remember, your goal isn’t to offend your friend or be mean… your goal is to build attraction. If you’ve followed everything correctly you should have built up some strong attraction. As the nights gets later you have to make a decision. You have to decide if you’re going to shoot for the fences with your friend, or if you’re going to end the night leaving her wanting more.
This is something that you’re going to have to feel out. Personally, I’ve found it is almost always most effective to swing for the fences the first night. Her emotions are going to be peaked by mid way through the night. She will be feeling attraction towards you. Now its just a matter of letting her know its alright to embrace this attraction.
This should go without saying.. but I’ll say it anyway… never verbally acknowledge any of this. Everything should be happening without mention of the paradigm shift.
If you’re going to go for it all you need to be rapidly escalating kino. Some girls may not be game for making out in the club… in this case you need to find away to get her alone.
Once you’re alone with her you have to be sure to keep the sexual tension alive. If she starts talking about something that is not cooperating with the mood… break rapport again. Later in the night, as the tension is mounting, the best way to break rapport is with physical contact. This means tease her with a gentle push, or grab her hand to look at her ring, or touch her ear to comment on her earring.
If she’s comfortable with that or looks at you in a seductive fashion its on. Go in for the kiss.
If you find she is being completely unreceptive to your advances… then let the evening die down with you in control. If you sense you need to build more attraction, then close out the evening talking to other girls and part ways with your friend.
If you’ve decided to hold off to another night to go for the kiss… I suggest making a deal with yourself. Give it one more chance. The next time you hang out with her it can be alone. But if possible, arrange for some friends to send periodic text messages to peak her interest. Simply look at the texts.. smile.. then put your phone back in your pocket. This evening you must treat the same way as the previous evening. You need to break rapport, initiate kino, flirt, tease, and build attraction.
If you find at the end of this second night that she still isn’t receptive to being kissed… move on.
Here is another article related to the subject: https://www.tsbmag.com/2015/02/11/how-to-sleep-with-your-friends/
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.