Should The Guy Pay On The First Date?
Here’s an age-old conundrum. When I first got into Game it was drilled into me that paying for the first date was a big no-no…the guy paying for his date was too beta, and you should split it at least. When I was in my 20’s what I would usually do is pick up the first round, and have her pick up the second, etc, and that usually got us to a point where it evened out in the end. I thought that was the way to go.
Nowadays, I think that’s bullcrap. I always pay for the first date, and usually pay for the second too. Why? Because I’m a baller, and ballers pay for stuff. We don’t give a fuck about things like dinners and drinks…in fact, it make us happy to pick up the tab because we can. Those types of items should be a drop in the bucket for a baller. It’s also masculine (and alpha) to have the ability to pay for dates and spend your money on entertainment.
A couple of notes. One, I never date gold-diggers, and I can sniff out gold-diggers early in the dating process. I figure out if she’s trolling for money in the first 10 minutes of meeting her. If I do go on a first date with a gold-digger (it happens), I’ll pay for the first date and ditch her afterwards. It’s a hazard of playing the game, and to be totally honest, it’s not a huge monetary loss. I consider it an occupational hazard.
The women I date are almost always professional, well put together women. They have money and security. Ideally, what would happen is I’ll pay for a couple of dates and then she’ll offer to pick up the next. I’ve had a couple of girlfriends who were like this and it’s an awesome arrangement. It usually works out to where I’m paying for 60% of our entertainment and she gets the remainder. I’m perfectly happy with that arrangement because she’s making a good effort and pulling her weight financially.
I’ve dated women who never offer to pay and it totally sucks…it’s not the money part that gets under my skin, rather it’s the lack of consideration on her part. It’s like she doesn’t feel the need to treat me. Ever. My last LTR (1.5 years) was actually like this, and the f’ed up part was she had a killer corporate job and got made more than I did. It created a lot of resentment on my side that she never thought enough to pull out her wallet on dates.
Keep in mind, I’m dating professional 30-year-old women and not students or waitresses. If I were banging a hot student, then sure, I wouldn’t expect her to pay for much.
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About Lance Lance is a tech geek by day, social artist and fitness enthusiast by night. He specializes in relationships in real life situations, such as workplace and in business, and his goal is to create high value social circles filled with opportunity. For more on his dating and relationship perspective, check out his blog honeyandlance.com