The Shy Guy’s Solution To Attracting Women
So you think you’re shy, huh?
Chances are, if this article appealed to you then you probably consider yourself to be “introverted.”
But do you really know what “introverted” means?
I’ll give you a hint, it does NOT mean that you like to sit inside and read books all day.
According to the dictionary, being “introverted” simply means that you are “a person predominantly concerned with their own thoughts and feelings rather than with external things.”
In other words, you are just in-your-head a lot. You tend to analyze situations more than necessary. Especially socially.
For this article I am going to take this definition one step further… You are introverted if your idea of “recharging your batteries” involves being away from others.
Extroverts are different. They gain energy from being around others. And the idea of being alone just sound boring and tiring.
Is this making sense?
Extroversion and Introversion are results of how you view yourself. Your self-image.
They are labels created to classify you as being one thing, and not another.
The truth is that everybody has both introverted AND extroverted parts of themselves. Everybody has the capacity to be shy in one situation, and outgoing in another.
For you to change, you’ve got to practice.
With this understanding, I want you to realize that the problem isn’t that you’re “shy” or “introverted”…
So in this artilce, I am going to give you three practical exercises that you can start using right away.
These exercises do NOT require having to change who you are. They just involve taking control of your emotions under pressure.
These tips will help put you into an awesome emotional state, whenever you want.
Emotions are contagious, so when you make these habits a part of your life, people will be drawn to you. And your social anxiety will actually start to disappear.
Let’s jump into it…
Shy Guy Fix #1: Knowing Your 3 Things
This is the key to improving your self-esteem, and becoming an attractive man all around… Always being aware of 3 things that excite you.
So the next time you are in a situation where you catch yourself thinking about how introverted you are, or how crappy you feel, just ask yourself this question…
“What are 3 instant ways I can reframe this to being positive?”
For example, if you’re walking home from a really big exam that you think you failed.
Step one is to realize that you are focusing on something negative, and it’s killing your mood.
The second step is to instantly list off 3 things that you are thankful for, or excited about in that moment.
For instance, you could choose to be excited that it’s a beautiful day outside, or that you don’t have to worry about that damn test ever again, or even that you now have some free time to hang out with your friends.
You can also apply this to your conversations with women…
If a girl said something that you took negatively (i.e. she called you “sweet” or “innocent”) rather than taking it as an insult, instantly CHOOSE to re-frame this situation as evidence that she is flirting with you.
Do this by listing off 3 reasons in your own head that she is clearly attracted with you.
Here are three examples of some things you can say to yourself
“Is that really her best pick-up line?”
“If that’s her way of saying she wants to be “bad” with me, I might consider it.”
“She’s never going to win me over with an attitude like that”
Trust me, taking action on this one piece of advice won’t be easy at first. Especially if you are really feeling down.
But if you can muster up the willpower to change what you focus on from moment-to-moment, then this tip alone could make all the difference for you.
Shy Guy Fix #2: Get Into Motion
Any time that you go into a social environment and you are being shy, the reason you feel that way is usually a result of your body language.
– Your knees are probably locked, and your feet aren’t moving much…
– Your elbows are likely close to your body…
– You are probably holding a drink in front of your chest…
And once you realize what your body language looks like, the solution is simple…
Your body and your mind are very closely tied together.
As a result, your mood can actually be a direct result your body language.
Just imagine in your head someone who is depressed. What do they look like?
They have their chin down, their shoulders slumped, and they have that mopey look on their face.
Now picture someone who feels amazing, and is the life of the party. What do they look like?
They are standing tall. Their shoulders are back. They eyes are forward. They have a smile on their face.
Look, you already know what great body language looks like. So the next time you catch yourself feeling “off”, take a quick look at your body, and self-correct.
So for instance, if my drink is in front of my chest, and my elbows are by my side… I’ll literally put my drink down by my side, and puff out my chest a little bit. Or if I am sitting in a chair while looking down, I’ll stand up and look straight ahead with a smile on my face.
My only goal is to literally BREAK my current body language pattern.
It’s really that simple.
(Here’s a great Ted Talk with Harvard Researcher, Amy Cuddy, talking about this how body language can actually effect your confidence: “Your body language may shape who you are“)
Shy Guy Fix #3: Cold Showers
Ok, so maybe you don’t have any issues with your confidence… In that case, the only thing holding you back is your anxiety and fear towards overwhelming social situations.
And if you have ever struggled with anxiety to approaching women, or tend to hesitate in social situations, then you will love this tip…
Start taking COLD showers daily.
Nothing will be more beneficial to you staying calm, cool, and collected under pressure than a cold shower.
You turn on the shower, and you can already feel the cool drops of water hitting your skin. Stinging like little needles, before you even get in.
Imagine that anxious feeling of hesitation and nervousness. Everything inside of you is trying to keep you from jumping under that running water…
This feeling right here is the exact same feeling that most “shy” guys get before approaching women.
The hesitation. The anxiety. The fear.
By training yourself to jump into that cold shower and bask in the tension of the cold water hitting your skin… You are actually training yourself to overcome social anxiety.
Each time you do this, it becomes easier and easier.
And just like anything you practice daily, eventually that weakness of yours actually becomes your strength.
By taking a cold shower daily, you are literally training your ability to become comfortable around women and social situations.
Just make sure to also practice staying calm, cool, and collected when that water is beating down on your skin. Do this and you will become a master at controlling your own emotional state.
Give yourself that gift.
Start implementing all of these steps into your own life, and I promise, other “shy” guys will start viewing to YOU as the confident social butterfly.
P.S. You are awesome.
If you agree, hit that share button on the top of this page and send it to a friend in need.
Here is another article related to the subject: https://www.tsbmag.com/2011/04/26/what-women-really-want-a-chill-guy/
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About Patrick James Patrick James is the coach and creator of #RawDatingAdvice. A brand that influences thousands of men from over 83 different countries each day. He is the author of multiple best-selling books, including 107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl and The Magnetic Personality Formula. Patrick is most known for delivering RAW dating advice that works with pinpoint accuracy, and he is regularly asked to speak to crowds of 400+ for his input on specific and “unsolvable” dating problems. You can check out Patrick's best-selling book for FREE at www.HowToGetTheGirlNow.com