6 Quotes From “The Art of Seduction” To Up Your Dating Game
Published in 2003, The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene is a 467 page deep dive into the art of human seduction. Robert Greene’s writing style refuses to shy away from what’s real. As such, some see his book as controversial and misogynistic.
Robert Greene describes how people think about sexuality and seduction as “neatly packaged”. We picture love as being separate from the darker sides of sexuality and seduction. While they exist, things like seduction are often considered “taboo”
Pretending seduction tactics aren’t real does no good. They exist, whether we choose to see them or not.
But seeing the world through a seducer’s lens will do more than help you find dates. The Art of Seduction will help you understand how people around you get what they want, too.
The following 6 quotes will up your dating game:
#1.“The key to such power is ambiguity. In a society where the roles everyone plays are obvious, the refusal to conform to any standard will excite interest. Be both masculine and feminine, impudent and charming, subtle and outrageous.”
Know what you are, and find a way to make that interesting. While everyone tries to fit norms, women fall for things outside of the status quo.
You’ve definitely been on the opposite side of this. Think about the last time you met a girl that refused to conform but had a firm grasp of who she was. Her unforgiving nature and confidence to be herself was attractive. Be this way around women.
#2. “Try to persuade a person by appealing to their consciousness, by saying outright what you want, by showing all your cards, and what hope do you have? You are just one more irritation to be tuned out.”
We’ve all dated a girl that puts all her cards on the table right away. It’s overwhelming and weird.
Humans are egocentric beings. In the dating game and otherwise, no one cares what you want. We only care about what we want, in that moment. Those who delay instant gratification are attractive and different.
There’s a time and a place to be vulnerable to women. It isn’t right when you meet them.
#3. “Everyone has doubts and insecurities about their body, their self-worth, their sexuality. If your seduction appeals exclusively to the physical, you will stir up these doubts and make your targets self-conscious. Instead, lure them out of their insecurities by making them focus on something sublime and spiritual”
A complex way of explaining something we’ve all seen.
Women are not impressed by your willingness to tell them how beautiful they are. Your words are cheap and lack authenticity. And if she is beautiful, you’re focused on the same thing as every other guy.
The end of the quote says to focus on something “sublime and spiritual”. What does that mean? Uncover something innate to humans when being seductive. Commend her for her goals or her model of the world. Get good at reading between the lines. Interpret her body language. Find ways to can commend her without her saying a word.
#4. “Purpose. If people believe you have a plan, that you know where you are going, they will follow you instinctively The direction does not matter: pick a cause, an ideal, a vision and show that you will not sway from your goal. People will imagine that your confidence comes from something real”
This doesn’t mean fake it ‘til you make it. What is your goal? What are you moving towards? What are you most confident about? Emanate this at all times.
When you are purposeful, your drive comes from a common source. Women want to know how deep that well goes.
#5. “Desire is both imitative (we like what others like) and competitive (we want to take away from others what they have). As children, we wanted to monopolize the attention of a parent, to draw it away from other siblings. This sense of rivalry… makes people compete for the attention.”
An easy way to seduce your target is to turn it into a rivalry. Drive up your stock by making it clear that you are a hot commodity. Remember, making it clear does not mean coming out and saying it.
Find a subtle way to tell the women you seduce that she isn’t the only one fighting for your attention.
#6. “Remember: obvious flirting will reveal your intentions too clearly. Better to be ambiguous and even contradictory, frustrating at the same time that you stimulate.”
Most guys in the world fear “saying the wrong thing” will lead to her running away. Men think they must be smooth or they’ll stand no chance.
Rarely is this true. Having a strong flirt game can help, but mystery and frustration puts the balance of power in your hands. Instead of always chasing, you chase each other. The moment she catches you, your contradiction puts you 20 steps ahead. You’re a puzzle she is dying to figure out.
Conventional dating wisdom tells you to be friendly and upfront about your intentions. It also suggests that the man must be the one in pursuit, which is irrational.
The Art of Seduction tells you to be confident, ambiguous, contradicting, and purposeful. Focusing on what “should work”, is less powerful than focusing on what does works with human nature. Instead of being the pursuant, let them come to you.
Meditate on these quotes and put them into action. You will see how powerful they are.
And if you enjoyed these quotes, check out The 48 Laws of Power. Like The Art of Seduction, it is an international bestseller. Both books are like bibles for getting the results you want.
About Ben Kissam American coach and sports psych based in Germany. I use psychology tools to make informed decisions about dating and life.