On the Benefits of Being Shameless
When it comes to picking up babes, there are two schools of thought.
One school says to approach women “under the radar” in an “indirect” way such as asking for directions, asking for a female opinion on something, or making a situational comment that will ignite some flirty banter.
Diametrically opposed to this approach are guys who believe you should let a woman know you’re interested and approach her “directly” by telling her she’s adorable, hot and/or sexy.
Internet forums thrive on the ongoing mental masturbatory debate these two schools wage against one another. Each side has a posterchild “guru” to prove that their way of approaching “works” and the other side is not only wrong, but creepy as well.
People usually assume I am an advocate of the “direct” method since I advocate genuineness and confidence in honesty; however, this is not the case. I am of a third school of thought that is totally fucking awesome and those other two sides are not only wrong, but creepy as well.
Rob Judge is a proponent of the shameless approach. (Woah! Huddle up internet debate teams, this is going to knock your peacock off!)
The shameless approach places absolutely no value on the words spoken, the interest conveyed, or even the approach taken; you put all your stock in the simple fact that you are shameless.
By shameless I mean that you are 1.) congruent with the fact that you are a man, 2.) have a mature attitude toward women and sex, 3.) are awesome, and, in turn, radiate the confidence those three principles imply.
So many guys try to hide or apologize for their desires as men, which, ironically, is the sexiest asset these men possess.
Whether it’s because they feel they aren’t good looking enough, cool enough, or simply don’t have enough “experience,” they buy into the myth that they have no right to shamelessly express themselves to a woman and so hide behind an emasculated façade of sexual indifference.
“Wait!” I can hear you saying, “Isn’t this just another way of stating the “direct” method?”
No. This has nothing to do with methods or approaches. In fact, many guys I meet who approach girls “direct” are NOT doing so shamelessly – they’re doing it re actively. These “direct” alpha bad asses buy into the method, but not the mindset.
The shameless mindset goes something like this: that girl is sexy and she needs to hear it. PERIOD.
If you’ve ever approached direct and wondered, “Why does it get awkward after I tell a girl she’s hot?” or “What do I say after I approach direct?” than you are not shameless.
Shameless men know exactly what to do after they approach direct, which is keep acting shameless.
But shameless men don’t feel compelled to only approach direct because shameless men don’t feel compelled by words to express their shamelessness. True champions of the shameless approach can walk up to a chick talking about orphans in Kenya and still convey their shameless sexuality.
Talking in terms of indirect or direct is like asking what screwdriver do you like better: Philips head or flathead; the fact of the matter is you’re screwing regardless.
Sometimes shamelessness is better demonstrated than explained. As an example, I will transcribe a notable conversation I overheard between Golden Boy and a very attractive female with incredibly large breasts.
Hotty: Blah blah blah…why do you keep looking at my boobs?
Golden: Look at them? Honey, I’m staring at them!
Hotty: That’s – that’s rude!
Golden: Rude?! It’d be rude not to look. Those things look great!
Golden: Look sweetie, I’m just being honest here. I think you have great boobs. Fantastic, as matter of fact.
Hotty: Well…thanks. Wow, it’s refreshing to finally meet a guy who’s honest.
Golden: Honest? I’m SHAMELESS!
Now I’m shamelessly going to end this article. Get out and get shamelessly weird! Peace!
Also, check out this article on swagger, which mixes well with shamelessness. And here is another article for the shy guys: https://www.tsbmag.com/2017/10/12/the-shy-guys-solution-to-attracting-women/
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About Rob J. Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.