How To Break The Ice And Be Interesting Without Saying Much

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The Subtle Way to Make Yourself More Interesting to Women (by Talking Less and Listening More)

Do you have what it takes to be a ladies man? Do you feel awkward when approaching women, often wondering what you are going to say or do? Does it make you a bit jealous when you see men who seem to have no trouble talking to any woman? If so, don’t beat yourself up. This is common for most men.

This is the irony men must deal with. We are supposed to be the dominant gender. Always in control and confident so we can provide and protect. Yet, most of the time, our kryptonite is the simple act of talking to a woman. It is easy to be weakened when we can’t stop telling ourselves negative bullshit that stops us from even saying hello to a woman.

What most men need simple advice and mental retraining. You see, it isn’t her that is stopping you, it is you. Getting past the roadblocks you are throwing up is essential. If you can do that, you will have half the battle won when it comes to picking up women.

If You Don’t Feel Interesting, That’s on You

Every man is different. We have varied lifestyles, jobs, interests and quirks. Women will often say that “all men are alike.” This may be true from a gender perspective, but nothing else. Hell, these days, even that is not wholly true. The only thing all men really have in common is our uniqueness.

Most men feel a lack of confidence with women because we are worried about their attitude towards men. We can easily think that whatever we say has been said to her a thousand times before. Maybe it has, BUT she hasn’t heard it from you. If you kill your game right away with this kind of thinking, then go home, your night isn’t going to improve.

You need not care what she thinks about men unless she is a lesbian. The only thing that matters is what she thinks about you. You are not trying to pick her up for the team, you are picking her up for your enjoyment. Look at the kind of things we tell ourselves and see if they ring any bells.

  • She has heard it all before.
  • She probably has guys hitting on her all the time.
  • She is too hot for a guy like me.
  • She won’t find me interesting.

That is some common shit clouding a man’s head when he wants to talk to a woman. The real question you need to ask yourself is this: Where the hell did you get those thoughts from? Are women telling you this? Your buddies? Your mom? No, it’s just you listening to negative stereotypes. No matter the crap you hear on TV or from women around the water cooler, it isn’t truly how most women think.

Interesting Men Are Interested in Her

A lot of “players” out there will tell you that to bag a woman, you need to talk a lot of shit. You need to tell her all sorts of BS that she will find interesting. Sadly, this requires that you exaggerate or lie to peak her interest. Not only that, but you must play the numbers game with this approach. Why? Because this lame approach is something women deal with all the time. This is the where “she’s heard it all before” comes from. This game requires a lot of talking and bravado, with little input from her. Talk enough shit to enough women and eventually, one of them will buy in and fall for it. Don’t be that guy.

Women know men want sex. This makes them feel like a piece of meat every time they step out in public. There are tons of idiots out there ready to catcall and whistle at her as she passes by. They don’t care if she is smart, funny or interested in them at all. She is meat and they are hungry. Men who want to bed or date a woman never show this side.

The smartest approach with women is to give a shit about her. I don’t care if you are looking to get laid or looking for a relationship, women want to feel important. When a man is interested in who she is and what she has to say, her interest in him multiplies. Stop feeling like you must talk about yourself or make your life seem interesting. Women don’t find their own lives particularly interesting either. However, she will if you think it is.

Keep Her Interested By Not Talking All the Time

If you want to break the ice with a woman, find a reason. What is she doing? What is she wearing? What does her mood seem to be? This will impart genuine interest. Normally, most men go with the basics:

  • “Hi, I’m Joe. You have an amazing smile.”
  • “Hi, I’m Joe. Your eyes are beautiful.”
  • “Hi, I’m Joe. You are an attractive lady.”
  • “Hi, I’m Joe. Can I buy you a drink?”
  • “Hi, I’m Joe. Do you want to dance?”

Is it just me or does Joe seem to have a lame approach? Not like Mike. Mike knows how to be interested in things that matter to her.

  • “Hi there, I’m Michael. I couldn’t help but notice how good that dress looks on you. It really makes you stand out. Where did you get such great fashion sense?”
  • “Hi, my name is Michael. You seem to be in a great mood. What happened today to put that awesome smile on your face?”

I hope you can see the difference in approach with Mike. Yes, some of you will say he sounds “gay,” but the truth is, he is interested in her and things she is interested in. He didn’t ask closed-ended questions or say a one-liner. He asked questions that make her think and answer, not an opportunity to say a simple “No.”

When she answers your questions, you must listen and, most importantly, generate another open-ended question relating to her answer. Maybe she got her fashion sense in college, which becomes an open door for more questions. Keep her talking and telling you about herself. Your conversation should be 70% listening and 30% talking.

About R. S. Brasher

A creative writer for many years, with experiences in many areas. People fascinate me, and stoke my desire to educate the masses on the madness we can and do create in this world. Through writing, we pass knowledge; through understanding, we pass tradition.

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