Is She Playing Games With You Or Does She Like You?
You can’t control other people. You can only learn to figure out what you will and will not tolerate.
For most guys, they won’t tolerate a girl playing games. And sure, why would you?
Figuring out if a girl is playing games with you is tough.
People are motivated by all kinds of things, and more often than not, we don’t fully understand what drives our choices and actions. It’s no different for girls.
That said, there are some general guidelines that can help you figure it out:
If a girl is playing games, she won’t take any interest in your life. This is because she doesn’t see a future with you, she just see’s you as a source of attention for her.
Let me explain that. She doesn’t view your interaction as a mutual one, she see’s it solely for her gain.
She doesn’t care about your life or what you do.
On the flip side, if a girl does like you, then she definitely will, as she’ll enjoy finding out more about you and connecting with it.
This really doesn’t need to be explained. No girl who likes you does this.
They wouldn’t want to in the first place, let alone take the risk it’d turn you off.
Any girl that’s flirting with guys in front of you is just trying to make you jealous, get attention, or both.
If she is overtly sexual, playful, teasing, or bantering with you, she likes you.
This couldn’t be less complicated.
You have to try it out to find out.
A girl who likes you makes time for you and is actually interested in you. That means she gives you her attention.
If you’re hanging out with her and she’s constantly looking at her phone, she’s not that interested in you.
This one you kind of have to take as it comes – as sometimes her mind will be elsewhere because she’s upset/mad etc, and she’ll be using her phone to distract herself, same as you would.
But the general rule is a good thing to pay attention to.
An easy way to find out who a girl likes is to pay attention to who she’s laughing with the most, even when they aren’t funny.
When a girl likes a guy, she just enjoys being around him. It doesn’t matter so much what he’s doing, she just enjoys being with him.
This is why if he starts even trying to be funny, she just enjoys herself even more.
If she’s playing games, this won’t be the case. She won’t even care that much about the proximity, let alone the jokes.
You’re just the attention band-aid for when the guy she actually likes isn’t there.
If you agree a time and she shows up over 30 minutes late, unless her excuse is sincere, she just doesn’t value your time. Which means she doesn’t value you.
The only exception to this is if you’re dating a girl in South America.
Culturally lateness is a very different thing there, and, hilariously, showing up on time can be considered rude to some.
Girl’s (unsurprisingly) don’t like to be touched by guys they don’t like.
If she’s letting you touch her even slightly, it’a good sign she likes you.
On the flip side, if she wants your attention but isn’t interested in you escalating the relationship, then she just sees you as a friend/attention.
Decide for yourself whether you want to be either.
As I said before: a girl who likes you makes time for you.
This is no mystery.
When two people like each other, they typically want to see each other more than do most other things.
If she’s constantly rescheduling or unavailable, move on. Have some self-respect and don’t waste time on girls who don’t actually like you.
I recommend a 3 strike rule on this one. She does it 3 times. She’s out. Move on.
Some girls take ages to get comfortable enough with a guy to have sex. This doesn’t necessarily mean anything in regards to her playing games.
She could like you a lot, but she’s just not a fast mover.
Every girl is different. Some will jump into bed with you in seconds, others will take weeks, some, months.
It’s up to you to decide what you’re willing to wait for, but I recommend being open about your intentions as she’ll then (more likely) be open about hers, and it’ll be easy for you to stop thinking she’s playing games (if she isn’t, which is usually the case).
Don’t get judgmental here, just focus on what you can control, which is yourself.
And, to be honest, if you start genuinely empathizing with the girls – it’ll do your relationships (short or long term) a lot of good.
90% of guys that these girls meet literally view them as meat. It’s not surprising many of them are cautious / reserved.
In general, playing games means one of two things. One, she’s weird. Two, she’s just not that into you.
Neither is an option you want. Move on and find someone else.
More important than whether she likes you or whether she’s playing games is this:
Do you like her, and are you interested in her?
As I said at the start – you can’t control other people. And it’s a huge step in the wrong direction to even try.
Just focus on improving yourself, your life, getting a handle on your anxiety and figuring out what it is you want from a partner. Both short and long-term.
But as you do so, keep these tips in mind so you don’t waste too much time with girls who are looking to waste yours.
About John Matich John is a writer from the UK who splits his time between travelling the world and trying to find unconventional solutions to dating and personal development. You can find more from him at www.lifeuncivilized.com.