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How To Convince Your Girlfriend To Have A Threesome

The Three Important Needs for Initiating A Great Threesome That She Will Enjoy (and you will too)

Ménage à trois. It’s a titillating thought, isn’t it?

Many men become instantly aroused when they hear it, while some men have no idea what it means.  But, once translated, many men stand at attention. It is one of the most fantasized sexual adventures for men and for many women as well – the elusive threesome.

If you watch enough porn, threesomes can seem like a common occurrence. Almost as if they happen as easily as the normal twosome. But, this couldn’t be farther from the truth. Sure, if you are a swinger, in the lifestyle for some time, threesomes are often commonplace. However, for the average joe, it may be near impossible to achieve.

Threesomes can be a defining moment for relationships, taking it to new heights of pleasure and awareness. On the other hand, it can be a game-ender for others.

What makes the threesome so elusive? And, more importantly, how can you convince your lady to embark on an adventure of this magnitude? Let’s find out.

Understand the Dynamic of a Threesome

I have been incredibly open about sex throughout my life. I have engaged in every group dynamic when it comes to sex, enjoying fun with a wide range of women. And I can tell you, no matter how open a woman is sexually, threesomes don’t just drop in your lap often.

Every woman is different, which means they all have different ideas and emotional thoughts on threesomes. Threesomes bring about a true test of a relationship’s stability. It is far more intimate than an orgy. Whether it is the MFF or MFM threesome, it can inherently make one partner feel challenged, or potentially inadequate.

“What am I lacking that makes him want more? Am I not enough for him?” You can reverse the gender pronouns here and understand those same questions come from men also.

If these questions come up and there is truth to them, don’t even bother with a threesome. Something is missing in the relationship and a threesome is not going to solve it. Threesomes rely on stability and satisfaction within a relationship.

Having a threesome is about exploring a fantasy; it’s about having fun and pleasure that is shared by both partners. And, if handled properly, can turn into a more regular occurrence. For any of this to happen there needs to be open communication, trust, and negotiation.

Making a Threesome Happen – Communication

It makes sense that you should know your partner when in a relationship. Let’s be honest, if you don’t know your partner well enough to comfortably initiate the conversation, you shouldn’t be having it.

Most women aren’t sitting around hoping their man is going to suggest a threesome. Or are they?

Many women have the fantasy as well. So the question is: Are you talking about sex and fantasies with your partner regularly? The entire realm of sexual interest should be an open book discussion in a relationship.

Fantasies are fantasies, and open, sexual conversations about fantasies should have the understanding that NOT acting on the fantasies isn’t a deal breaker. Trust me, there are lots of fantasies had by men and women constantly that won’t, or can’t, be acted upon.

The key is that you are having the conversations. When you can talk about it, then you can enter the realm of exploring it. It is within the conversation that you learn whether she has hard limits about acting on any fantasy, specifically a threesome.

Also, one thing you need to understand and be open to is the fact that her perfect threesome may not be your perfect threesome. Just as men love the thought of two ladies in their bed, many women love the thought of having two dicks in hers. Understand this: if you are not open to both sides of the conversation, you can lose out on the threesome you are hoping for. Compromise is a bitch sometimes, but fair is fair.

Making a Threesome Happen – Trust

This is by far the most important aspect of a threesome. You MUST trust your partner, and they MUST trust you. Threesomes need active participation by both partners, which applies to selecting a third as well.

Men often make the mistake of hunting for the third party for a threesome. This is a big mistake.

Look, you want your woman to be on board with this right? That means her comfort level is key. Jealousy and mistrust come into play when the man is doing the hunting on his own.

“Where did you meet her?”

“Did you know her before we discussed this?”

“Have you already slept with her?”

See how quickly it can devolve into a combative situation? She needs to trust that you have her best interests at heart. This means hunt together or trust her to find the woman she is comfortable with. Women looking for a third set a pretty high standard, so you shouldn’t worry much about being stuck with something scary.

Making a Threesome Happen – Negotiation

The final act in this three-part approach is the negotiation. Negotiation alleviates jealousy and mistrust.

“What the hell do you mean by negotiation? I ain’t trying to solve a border dispute!”

Listen, if you wanted to enter a major business deal or get the kind of pay you want from a job, it will never happen without negotiation, right?

Threesomes are just as important. Will this be “soft-swap” with no intercourse with the third party? Will it be full-on everything? Will there be girl-on-girl play or is bisexual play off the table?

Both of you have limits. If you don’t talk about what those limits are, then you are going in blind and someone is going to get hurt. You can’t just “play it by ear.”

If you are going to convince a woman to have a threesome, she needs to know that her needs are MORE important than the third party. She is your partner; she must have her boundaries respected or she will exit stage left.

Maybe she doesn’t want to eat pussy, but the thought of watching you fuck another woman thrills her. If you were to embark on an MFM threesome, the same applies to you. Maybe it turns her on to think about you sucking a guy’s dick, but you have your limits, right? And, you want those respected just as much.

You MUST establish safe sex practices.

You need to negotiate pre- and post-threesome communication with this third member.

You need to talk about how awkward it might be during and how to handle that. Incorporate safe words that help you set up communication during the threesome.

Yes, some threesomes are going to happen organically, but negotiation is how you make sure they happen respectfully.

Wrap-Up

Yes, wrap it up and be safe. I must emphasize this again because it is important.

But, I am also wrapping up this article.

Look, be honest with your partner and talk about sex; all of it. Trust her enough to be honest with you about her desires. If you feel she is doing it to make you happy, tread lightly and be prepared to pull the plug. Yes, she may wind up enjoying it for other reasons; however, she is important to you and needs to feel that way.

Take it slow and do your homework together. Negotiate what you BOTH want from the experience. Once you have the foundation laid, everything else will fall into place. Threesomes are tons of fun and can open the door to much more fun.

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About robertbrasher A creative writer for many years, with experiences in many areas. People fascinate me, and stoke my desire to educate the masses on the madness we can and do create in this world. Through writing, we pass knowledge; through understanding, we pass tradition.

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