How To Play It Cool After Hooking Up
If you are a red-blooded male, hookups are bound to happen. You never know, right? One thing leads to another, the conversation gets hot and next thing you know, the two of you are headed out the door. It happens.
The real question you need to ask yourself is: What happens when the fun is done?
There are a couple of directions you can go at the end. You could take the lame route and just peace out. Drop the skin in the trash, get dressed and say, “So long.” Start erasing her name from your head and ghost the situation. Just remember, this angle has repercussions, whether you think so or not.
The other option is to handle things like a man. Do the right thing in the beginning, during the hookup and, most importantly, when it’s time to unhook.
I would be remiss if I didn’t at least give a little input on what you are doing pre-hookup and during. Nothing long-winded here, just some basics to keep in mind that will make ending the hookup almost effortlessly.
NOTE: Don’t hookup with drunk chicks! This almost always ends negatively. Avoid at all costs! Moving on. This is one of the reasons I recommend meeting women during the day.
No matter the woman, she doesn’t want to feel like a piece of meat – aside from consensual, sexual degradation, duh. Ultimately, while you are “using” each other, she doesn’t want to feel used after.
During the buildup, you should be making her feel special. Imagine that she is the woman of your dreams. Put that passion into the pickup and the hookup. Don’t worry, you can replace fantasies for dreams and she will never know, just invest at the moment. Just keep real conversations simple so you don’t oversell your romance.
Above all else, when you are having sex, be phenomenal. Walking away from a hookup is much easier when she is in the afterglow of amazing sex, whether leaving that night or in the morning.
Oh, also, cuddle, talk and engage with her after sex. Don’t just pump and jump.
Make sure you both know the departure time. Your place or hers, know the expectations for crashing after sex or if either of you must leave shortly after. If you are good with an all-nighter, try for that. Nothing beats next morning sex after a great night of sex. Anyone disagree with that? I thought not.
If you are at your place, don’t rush her; make her feel welcome. If you have plans that are time-sensitive, this should have been discussed. If she is leaving that night, make sure you have her number. Walk her out to her car or provide a ride for her.
If she is staying overnight, do this same thing in the morning. With an overnight stay, include some great early morning sex and perhaps coffee and breakfast.
Above all else, maintain the intensity and passion from the hookup as she departs. Leave her wanting more and wanting to come back. Make sure you text her a bit later in morning and let her know how much you enjoyed things.
Men love hooking up at her place. Why? Easy exit for ghosting? Psycho chicks won’t have their address? Men are notorious for being slobs, which means her place is nicer?
The best reason for hooking up at her place? She is more comfortable there. She loses inhibitions at her place. Nothing is wilder than a woman in her own, safe space.
But, you must leave some time.
If it is a nighttime exit after sex, keep the passion going as you leave. Your exit should feel as if you don’t want to leave; that you would love to stay all night and keep going. You should have her number and reach out by call or text the next morning.
If you are going to stay the night, bear a few things in mind.
She may have roommates that live with her. Be respectful of this and wear clothes when coming out of her bedroom. Anyone living there probably knows the protocol for hookups, so don’t stress about them. Be polite, introduce yourself and keep your interactions minimal.
Don’t be awkward with her! Make conversation in the morning. Go for a coffee or breakfast if the mood is right. If it is just about parting ways in the morning, do so, but make her feel good about the previous night. The passion and intimacy are still important the next morning.
If you need to shower, ask if you can. Turn it into a little two-person fun if she is up for it. Just be respectful of her environment and needs. Oh, and make sure you tidy up any mess you made – condom wrappers disposed of, cups/glasses in the kitchen, etc.; it’s the little things that matter.
If you have been being a gentleman the whole time, no matter the animal you were in bed, exiting is going to be a piece of cake. Women prefer to be treated like a lady in the streets and slut between the sheets.
First rule of hookup club: Don’t be needy! If it was great sex, awesome. But, great sex isn’t love, so take it easy and let nature take its course. Keep it simple.
Consider if things are going to go further and get her input on that as well. Remember, she may enjoy a friend with benefits situation, so don’t be afraid to keep up some rapport. A hookup buddy is a good thing. Just make sure you are on the same page with everything.
For men who are woman-focused in their conquests, their conquests usually want a second round. This is the key to a successful hookup. This is how hookups can lead to great relationships or friendships. Not only that, but word of mouth goes a long way.
If things are going to stop at the hookup, let it be. Give her props for giving you a great night and part ways as a gentleman would. Remember, she may know where you live, so play nice.
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About robertbrasher A creative writer for many years, with experiences in many areas. People fascinate me, and stoke my desire to educate the masses on the madness we can and do create in this world. Through writing, we pass knowledge; through understanding, we pass tradition.