What To Expect When Dating Abroad- Guide For Men

Living or studying abroad can open you up to a whole new experience, and that includes dating. You’ll meet new people, go out to new bars, find new girls, and hopefully have good stories to go home with.

But when it comes to dating and picking up girls, being abroad can also be a challenge. You may feel out of place, lack your normal confidence, or feel like you need to be something else because you’re in a different country.

This is normal. The key for single guys dating abroad is to be yourself, but adapt just enough that it shows you give a shit, that you pay attention to little details. This quality in guys is internationally attractive.

Here are 5 tips for dating abroad for the vagabonding single guys out there:

Before You Go

1. Speak some of the language.

Whether you spend a semester abroad or go on a week long trip, it helps to know a few basic words/phrases in that country’s language. It will help you meet new people, including pretty single girls.

While you’ll find English speakers almost anywhere you go, you’ll get major points for trying, even if it’s only things like “Hello”, “How are you?”, or “I’ll have another beer, please”.

Sites like Duolingo can help you pick up the basics.

2. Know that certain jokes won’t land.

Tread carefully if you’re the guy who picks up girls with his sense of humor. What’s funny and what works in America won’t always work in other countries. For example, holocaust jokes won’t land as well in Europe.

Don’t be a shell, but use your best judgement. Before you go, think about some easy material you might use at a bar or while on a Tinder date abroad.

There’s one topic that always works, though, and that’s making fun of yourself. Perhaps combine your lack of language skills here.

Be careful about references specific to America, too. Politics and other polarizing topics are anything but subtle and should be avoided.

3. Wear neutral or darker colors.

Do some research on the type of clothes people wear out in the country you’ll be visiting. You don’t want to be the only guy at the bar wearing something that sticks out or screams “tourist”.

If you’re visiting Europe, for example, stick with neutral or darker colors, like black, dark grey, and dark green.

And it’s worth mentioning, though this applies in every country. Don’t wear graphic tees or anything with a lot of designs on it.

Picking Up Girls

1. Don’t freak out if she doesn’t flirt like you’re used to.

Each culture has slightly a different take on flirting and dating. If you find that the girls you meet are not responding like you’re used to, don’t take that as you’re “doing it wrong”. It might just mean she’s going to show you she’s interested in a different way.

However you choose to act, be confident about it. And it wouldn’t hurt to buy a girl a drink that you aren’t necessarily interested in sexually to pick her brain about flirting there, either.

2. Drink the local stuff.

If you usually drink a specific beer or hard alcohol, try not to be a snob about it. Just drink whatever is local, and be cool with experiencing something new.

It screams “I’m arrogant”, and especially if you’re American, most people already have their mind made up about you when it comes to that kind of thing anyway.

3. Don’t overdo it with the “exotic” stuff.

Yeah man, I get it. You’re excited about the prospects of taking home a “X” girl (Brazilian, German, Spanish, Japanese, etc.)

If you’re the type to count or keep track of this sort of thing, just don’t overdo it while you’re out with her. Girls pick up on that kind of thing right away, and won’t like that you aren’t actually trying to connect with them. Don’t act like you want to marry the girl either, but if you want to go home with her, don’t be that guy.

Examples include:

  • Not commenting or getting excited about her accent when she speaks English
  • “Weird” things she does, food she eats, or how she acts
  • Physical things like skin color, hair, etc.

Pro Tip: Never go out with low battery.

Especially if the streets have funky names you can’t pronounce, you want to have GPS capability to get home from dates or a night of drinking.

Sealing The Deal

It’s the end of the night, which in most countries, is waaaay later than we’re used to in America. Pretend it’s like 5am on the streets of Munich. How do you seal the deal?

Same as always: ask. If you want her to go home with you, don’t be afraid to make your move.

Girls from other countries may treat sex differently, so depending on where you are, your odds may be good.

Here’s to a story about “the girl you met in X” that you’ll remember forever.

Dating Abroad For Guys- Wrap-Up

Keys to dating and picking girls up abroad: immerse yourself, don’t stand out, know what’s relevant to Americans but not necessarily relevant otherwise.

Be okay with the fact that your stuff might not work. Don’t make a big deal out of how “exotic” she is to you, even if it is cool for you.

Basically, be yourself, be confident, but adapt just enough to show girls you pay close attention to detail. From there, you’re good to go. Bon voyage, bro!

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About Ben Kissam American coach and sports psych based in Germany. I use psychology tools to make informed decisions about dating and life.

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