How To Be Happy As A Single Man
Avoiding neediness is easier said than done
Perhaps you’ve read the hundreds of dating advice articles warning you not to be needy. You’ve seen how often neediness is cited as the least attractive quality a man can show. Yet, you can’t help but feel like you need a woman in your life to be happy.
It’s perfectly healthy to desire a partner, but you shouldn’t rely on one for happiness.
This will scare all the mentally healthy women away, leaving you perpetually lonely or locked in a toxic codependent relationship.
The solution is to learn how to be happy as a single man.
Below are some steps for you to find happiness, regardless of your relationship status.
A woman wants to be the most important person in her man’s life, but not the most important thing. It is crucial for a man to have a higher purpose.
In his book The Way Of The Superior Man, David Deida explains it perfectly.
He says: “A man’s highest purpose is his priority, not his intimacy. Your woman knows this. Deep inside, she really wants it to be this way.”
In the book, Deida uses the example of a man leaving to go to war. His woman begs him not to go, but she also knows that he must. The question is: how would she feel if he turned around, deciding that his love for her was more important than the freedom of mankind?
“Even though part of her would feel glad, a deeper part of her would feel deflated, emptied, let down,” Deida concludes.
Your purpose needn’t be a heroic mission to save modern society. However, as a man, you should have a project that makes you excited to get out of bed in the morning.
Perhaps it involves a business, charity, personal hobby or self-development journey.
If you don’t know what your purpose is, make an effort to try a ton of new experiences and see what excites you. This, in itself, can be a great purpose for a single man.
There are millions of brilliant things to do on this planet that don’t require a woman by your side.
If you don’t have awesome friends to hang out with, take some steps to make new ones. In most major cities, there are plenty of events or clubs designed for those looking to meet new people. Have a look on meetup.com or Facebook Events to find some near you.
If you don’t have hobbies and passions outside of dates and sex, go ahead and try and some new ones.
The goal should be to create a life that’s incredible with or without a woman in it.
Ironically, this is the sort of life that women will want to be part of.
Remember, women don’t want to be the missing piece to your puzzle. They want to be the sexy cherry on top of your awesome completed puzzle.
In a healthy relationship, you should be able to maintain your freedom.
Still, while you’re single with no kids, there’s likely to be very little stopping you from making exciting life-changing decisions.
Move to an exciting new city. Make extravagant purchases. Book a solo backpacking holiday.
The world is your oyster, so make the most of it while you can.
Let’s be honest… the main reason a lot of men don’t like being single is because they can’t attract any women. For many, single life contains nothing but approach anxiety, rejection and desperately swiping on Tinder.
They constantly worry about the next time they’ll get laid, why women don’t want to talk to them and whether they’ll ever be able to start a family
Once you learn how to attract women on a regular basis, it becomes a lot easier to start enjoying singledom.
If you follow these steps, it’s common that you’ll lose interest in being in a relationship.
This stops you settling for the first average woman who puts up with you, and makes you more attractive to the high-quality women who had historically ignored you.
Ultimately, one of these women will fit so perfectly into your new-found lifestyle that it’ll make complete sense to couple up. But this decision will come from desire rather than need.
Instead of being repelled by your neediness, she’ll often become captivated by your ‘take it or leave it’ attitude towards her.
That’s why it’s often said you’ll only ever get the quality of woman you’re willing to throw away.
The happier you can become as a single man now, the better quality girlfriend you’ll settle for in the future.
About Joe Elvin Joe Elvin travels the world working remotely as a lifestyle writer and confidence coach. Throughout 2017, he filmed his entire dating life as part of a national television documentary in the UK. His new book 'The Camera Never Lies' details the brutal truths about dating and relationships learned from this experience. You can learn more about the book and download the first chapter for free by clicking here >>