Sexting: How To Send Sexy Text Messages
If you can learn how to send sexy text messages – and turn a woman on with your words – it becomes easier to have her wanting to meet you.
A lot of women are into exchanging saucy content through their smartphone. In fact, almost half of women have done it in the past.
The problem is: if you introduce this type of communication the wrong way, it could creep her out and implode the whole relationship.
There’s a fine line between sexy and creepy and it’s important not to cross it.
Sexting and exchanging naughty pictures can add an extra layer of fun into your relationship. If you’ve not hooked up yet, it can help build anticipation for this.
However, just like most sexual acts, it’s important not to dive in before she’s ready.
Here’s the key to successfully introducing the idea of exchanging sexy messages.
As a man meeting a woman, you can frame yourself as a ‘lover’ or a ‘provider’. The ‘lover’ is the wild guy who can fulfil all her naughty desires. The ‘provider’ is the stable gentleman providing a caring relationship.
If you spend your initial interactions being super-flirty and discussing sexual topics, it’ll frame you as a lover. If you’re buying gifts and treating her like a princess, you’ll be seen as a provider.
There’s nothing wrong with either frame and it is possible to be both, but you’ll initially come across as one or the other based on your behavior.
The problem comes when you’ve initially framed yourself as a provider, then suddenly start wanting to sext her or engage in other kinky activities.
A lot of women don’t feel comfortable revealing their freaky nature to a provider, especially when he’s spent so long communicating his desire for a sweet innocent girlfriend.
When this guy suddenly starts asking for explicit messages, it feels incongruent and weird. If you weren’t brave enough to flirt this way to her face, it’s unlikely she’ll feel comfortable doing this with you over the phone.
If you’re into sexting and other kinky stuff, it’s best to show this side of your personality early. Transitioning from lover to provider is far easier than the other way around.
There’s a lot at risk for a woman who sends explicit content. If the messages were to be leaked, it could be humiliating – and there might even be professional consequences.
As such, it’s important to build trust with a woman before you start exchanging sexy messages.
This takes time. However, you can speed up the process by sharing personal stories and deep emotional topics with her. The kind of stories you wouldn’t share with ‘just anyone’. In fact, any actions which communicate that she’s not just ‘the next girl’ will help. Ideally, she does the same with you.
If she already trusts you enough to hook up with you, the odds of sharing dirty messages increase. Some 77% of adults who send nudes share them with their significant other, compared to just 16% who send them to strangers.
Opening the conversation with ‘Wanna sext?’ or ‘Send nudes’ is a high-risk strategy. You have no idea what mood she’s in, or what she’s doing.
Women typically need warming up to this sort of thing, just as they would do in the bedroom.
A better strategy is to open with light flirting. Perhaps you tell her you’re reminiscing about the last time you hooked up. Maybe you share how her latest Instagram snap is turning you on. If she responds positively, that’s a green light to escalate.
Perhaps you hint at what you’d do if you were together. You could ask what she’s wearing. Provided she’s flirting back, this could naturally ease into sexting or sharing sexy photos. If it doesn’t escalate naturally (but she’s clearly enjoying the flirty texting), you can straight-up ask for photos or to sext.
Even though a lot of women enjoy sending naughty messages, most won’t do it unless there’s something in it for them too.
Ideally, this sort of communication is taking place within a dynamic where she is chasing you.
If she believes other women are after you, she knows it’ll take something a bit sexier to keep your attention.
Deep down, women LOVE to chase a high-value guy. A lot of them enjoy showing these men how sexy and provocative they can be.
Let her enjoy the process of doing this. If she does send sexy pictures of herself, compliment them. Don’t go overboard though, as this leaves little incentive for her to send sexier pics or meet you in the future.
Ideally, these exchanges serve as foreplay that gets her riled up about meeting you and acting out these fantasies in real life.
About Joe Elvin Joe Elvin travels the world working remotely as a lifestyle writer and confidence coach. Throughout 2017, he filmed his entire dating life as part of a national television documentary in the UK. His new book 'The Camera Never Lies' details the brutal truths about dating and relationships learned from this experience. You can learn more about the book and download the first chapter for free by clicking here >>