How to Compliment a Woman
Man, the one thing I’ve always fucked up with is complimenting a girl.
The old AFC me would go overboard with the compliments. Then as I began reading stuff on the art of seduction I was over cruel, and withheld compliments at all cost. I remember back in college at a sorority dance I was attending, there was a girl I was hard core infatuated with for months… At the dance I told her she looked very pretty tonight. She says, “Wow, you know thats the only nice thing you’ve ever said to me.” Sometimes when you’re trying to hard to play it cool you just come off as an asshole… (I’d still rather be an asshole then a chump)
Anyway this article below is from Stephen Nash, author of How to Get a Girlfriend. Its all about the art of a compliment.
Complimenting Girls by Stephen Nash
Have you ever heard from dating guru’s that if you compliment a woman you’ll RUIN your chances?
Have you ever experienced a compliment FLOOD, in which you blew the sexual tension by using too many compliments?
Did you know most guys compliment in the WORST possible way (you might even be doing this)?
Do you know that CORRECT and appropriate compliments are like throwing GAS on a open flame when it comes to sexual tension and attraction?
I’m going to share the SECRETS of the naturals with you now.
So many guys I’ve worked with are truly clueless when it comes to complimenting a woman. How many of you have said any version of the following:
“Wow, you’re drop-dead gorgeous. Let me buy you a drink”
“God broke the mold the day he made you!”
“You are fine! I gotta take you to dinner sometime girl – Gimme your phone number!”
It’s a sad moment when any man lets rip with any of the above. Can you see how insulting these are? Cool, socially intelligent guys never waste their time with “compliments” like these.
Not only is it blatantly obvious that the only thing you are thinking about is sex, but it is also painfully clear that you lack imagination and any ability to actually pay attention to anything other than her looks. That’s three strikes against you, and you have only said one thing!
Women do not like to be treated as sex objects by men – clear? When you “compliment” her with any of the above, you give yourself exactly zero chance of meeting the actual person, and having a real conversation.
Let’s take a minute now and talk about how to compliment a woman, in a way that does not insult her.
First of all, people (not only women), prefer to be complimented about things that they have actually done. So, in the case of complimenting a woman’s appearance, why not consider her selection of clothing and style?
“Let me say, you look terrific, your sense of style is impeccable. Are you a designer of some sort?”
“Are you an athlete? You walk with such grace and composure – not easy in heels on the concrete sidewalk.”
Your chances of flattering her are very high with statements like these. You could even initiate a conversation with a woman using these.
Again, you are talking about the choices she made around her clothing selections for the day or the grace with which she carries herself (something she has undoubtedly worked hard for). You are complimenting the person, rather than her God-given looks.
If you are in conversation with her, and feel the desire to compliment her, again, try to stay away from her looks:
“Wow, I am impressed. You are a great conversationalist. This is really interesting. Let me ask you, how were the dinner table discussions when you were younger – pretty involved I’d bet.”
“You’re clearly well read – a characteristic I really respect. Where did you get that quality? My mom and dad were avid readers when I was growing up, so I naturally became one too in my adult
If you ever do feel compelled to remark on a woman’s beauty, be sure not to do it when you first meet. This just places you in the age-old category of a guy who is only interested in sex, and can’t think of anything original to say. SERIOUSLY. It is far more powerful to do so later in the conversation, as she will feel more comfortable around you and thusly more able to be flattered.
“You know, I haven’t said so until now because I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable – but you are a very beautiful woman. It must be both a burden and a luxury for you in life. Do you ever feel that people are often speaking to the face or the body, and not the person?”
Ultimately, you want the compliment to indicate that you are able to pay attention to more than just her pretty face. It also indicates that you have some knowledge of what it means to be a beautiful woman in the world. This helps her to relax around you even more, allowing her to open up more to you.
That’s how you really reach her guys, not by barking at her out your car window…
Here are some shameless compliments you can also try out.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.