free hit counters

The Player’s Guide to Texting Girls


girl lying on bed texting a guy

A Pick Up Artist’s Guide to Texting a Girl

Texting has become such a huge part of our communicating that it must be addressed in regards to picking up women.  If you don’t know how to text a girl back in a way that keeps building attraction and sexual tension… she’ll quickly grow bored.

>>>Watch Video:   3 Texts to Turn Her On and Get Her Out

Avoid Texting Blunders by Gypsy

Whenever you get ready to send a text, take a moment to run through these rules, courtesy of Stylelife Academy:

Rule 1: Don’t text to avoid phone conversation.

Before you send out a text message to a woman you should ask yourself what you hope to gain by this action. The question pertaining to texting that I receive most from guys generally goes like this:

“The other day I met this girl, and we had a good time. I ran tight game and I number closed her. When should I text her and what should I text?”

My response to this is, “Don’t text her. Call her.”

It seems to me that many guys, especially those that are just entering the social arts, see texting as a safer arena for contacting woman than calling them. This is wholly understandable, but entirely unacceptable. Think realistically about this situation. If you just met a woman and you number closed her, then your next goal is to have a second meeting with this woman. Keep in mind that the likelihood that you will set this up with her via text message is lower than if you call her and build more comfort verbally.

Also, if you are texting because of your fear of interacting with this woman, then how will you ever hope to interact with her comfortably face to face? I would only consider texting a woman in order to set up a day two in three possible scenarios.

  1. She texts me first, so I must text back.
  2. I call her and she does not answer the phone. Instead of leaving a voice-mail I will send a text, which seems much less needy to me and are generally received sooner than voice mails.
  3. I text her with the implied purpose of getting her on the phone. In this scenario we may banter back in forth with text but after a few exchanges I will simply call her.

Rule 2: Bring value when you text. Do not seek value.

Whenever I send an initial text I do not ask an open ended question that is intended to seek value. Some examples of these might be “What’s up?” or “What are you doing tonight?” In my opinion these texts come off as needy and invoke no emotion in the woman you are contacting. When I text, my goal is to elicit emotion and display my playful personality. Example texts of these are “I just saw a guy wearing a fanny pack and it reminded me of you.” or “Hey dork! 🙂 I bet you are operating at a level of 100% dorkiness today.” Really lame jokes work well as initial text to get a good laugh and display playfulness. A recent thread in the Elite forum field tested this concept and had some nice examples of these. My contribution was:

Text 1: What do you call a fish with no eyes? (Wait for her response)

Text 2: Fssshhh

In addition, if you are texting a woman try and use a humorous “call-back” from the previous time you spoke with her. A “call-back” is a comedic technique in which you restate a joke you have said previously after a length of time. For example, if you had previously given a woman you are texting a nickname, like “Tiny Fingers” or “Grabby Hands”, then use this in your text.

Rule 3: Avoid Sending Too Many Messages!

I know she might be the only thing on your mind at the moment but let’s keep that a secret between us, otherwise you may freak her out. So, text once and when you get a reply you may text back. If she doesn’t respond to your text, you should generally hold off until tomorrow before you try to contact her again.

I also wait a few minutes after receiving a text before responding. I do this so that I don’t give off the impression that the only thing I have going on in my life is waiting for a new female friend to text me. Remember being non-needy always equals sexy because it conveys that you must have other dating options in life.

Rule 4: Use texting to invoke the law of familiarity.

This is more of a tip, but it’s a damn helpful one. The best method I have found for using text messaging is using while in set. After I meet a woman and number close her I immediately send her text while in set still standing next to her. This situation by itself is humorous and if you send a funny message it’s doubly so. Try in-set text messages like, “You have my number now but you are only allowed to call me once per day” or “Who is that really hot guy standing next to you?”

If, after texting her, she saves you number, then you can take that as a definite indicator of interest. More importantly, when you call her later, your phone number will pop up and be familiar.

A woman is always more likely to answer a number she recognizes then one she does not.

More posts for text messaging girls…

Below are some more resources for texting girls, what to text girls, how to text girls,and examples of text flirting.  As you probably already realized, SMS has become the dominant form of communication between men and women who are dating.  So it is in your best interest to read everything you possibly can on the subject of texting girls.

>>>>>>Watch Video:   3 Texts to Turn Her On and Get Her Out

More Texting Advice for Dealing with Girls

What to text message hot girls

PUA’s Guide to text game

Learn to Love Texting girls

Advice for Texting a Girl

About Bobby Rio

I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

We respect your email privacy


  1. Seraf24

    January 14, 2008 at 2:29 pm

    lol, I JUST read this in my inbox. I had the chance to meet Gypsy at Style’s pre-sale book signing for “rules of the game.”


    • Anonymous

      June 28, 2013 at 2:49 pm

      i want to have a kiss from a girl ok

  2. FredEx

    January 14, 2008 at 6:28 pm

    Seraf, you are one lucky mother fucker man..
    i saw on your myspace you met style and mystery! thats fucking awesome. that’d be like a dream for me to meet a master PUA man. i’ve always wanted to meet David Deangelo tho, i dunno why hes always seemed like a humble guy who, if asked the right way without seeming like a needy bastard, would help you out on the spot even if he was just chillin at a coffee shop or something..

    anyways, im in HS and i think texting is a little bit more important for people my age.. but overall, the advice given was excellent.unfortunately tho, ive broken alot of these rules while texting girls in the past lol. thanks to this i’ll learn from it

    • Mimi

      May 12, 2013 at 8:01 pm

      what are you doing right now playing outside

  3. Damien

    January 14, 2008 at 7:57 pm

    great advice,,.

    sadly i’ve broken all those rules..

    you’re not alone Fredexx lol

    But hey, thats what this site’s for.. hopefully i wont be breaking them again.

    • jasman

      December 26, 2011 at 2:43 pm

      i realy wont to meat u because your bad

      • Anonymous

        November 9, 2013 at 9:42 am

        You do. Have a boy friend

  4. Seraf24

    January 14, 2008 at 9:40 pm

    Fred Ex,

    If you want to meet Style, he’s doing a book tour.

    You can check his myspace for the dates he may be near you.


  5. FredEx

    January 14, 2008 at 11:46 pm

    lol trust me Seraf, if he were to ever come to El Paso, i’d be one of the first to sign up.
    unfortunately, he will probably never come anywhere near here, the closest probably being somewhere like Austin, which is a long drive for someone who doesnt even have a license yet, or a car.

  6. Gypsy

    January 15, 2008 at 9:18 pm

    I’m glad you guys enjoyed my article. Hit me up on the Stylelife forums.

    Sarge ON!

  7. Andy

    January 18, 2008 at 12:43 am

    This stuff is gold…I’m a big texter and this stuff makes sense.

    • jasman

      December 26, 2011 at 2:44 pm

      u ugly

      • Anonymous

        July 7, 2012 at 1:03 pm

        Yo daddi

  8. The Sneak

    January 18, 2008 at 4:38 am

    I just read Gypsy’s FULL guide to texting that is in the Stylelife Course materials, and it is loaded with actual text message conversation examples…and let me just say…wow…this guy is the freaking master.

    Take his advice to heart!!!

  9. Seraf24

    February 1, 2008 at 1:11 pm

    I just noticed something,

    all the MPUAs always give different advice. I think it was gambler who had suggestions for killer voice mail messages but Gypsy is for sending a text instead of a VM.

    I don’t know who to follow! Ah!


  10. Bobby_Rio

    February 1, 2008 at 1:34 pm


    all the stuff works.. you just need to make it work for you..

    just for example…

    Mike stoute and I have completely different style of gaming girls.. Mike’s style is not my thing. We never give each other advice because we know that other is going to do it their way anyway.

    the key is listen to the gurus.. try it differnt ways and then figure out what works for you.. and stick with it.

  11. smokoff

    March 15, 2009 at 12:08 am

    yeah i may sound like a loser but i got this girls number i sent her a text then i got no
    response back what should i do???

    • Bobby Rio

      March 15, 2009 at 8:04 am

      Did you identify who you were in the text? My usual stance is I’ll send one text. Unless we connected reallly well when i got her number, if she doesn’t respond i move on.

      if we connected really well, i give her a call and try to re-establish that connection.

  12. Bobby Rio

    May 14, 2010 at 9:16 am

    It would be great to put together a big collection book of what to text girls. Anybody have any good tips for texting girls? I’ve seen a lot of good stuff… but would like to hear proven, effective things that work.

    • Amit Patel

      December 8, 2014 at 6:31 am

      Bobby, i want to purchase your Magnetic messaging kit.. can I purchase it using debit card?

  13. frankie

    May 14, 2010 at 8:02 pm

    hi how are you doing today me ok i gest

  14. Mike Masters

    June 16, 2010 at 10:25 pm

    Hey guys, found you while looking for keywords to promote my texting book.
    Rather than compete with you for this keyword, (which I may or may not be able to get the number one spot for) I figured I would ask if you wanted to be an affiliate.
    50% payout and with this particular keyword I imagine it will pay around a $100 a month. If you monetize all of your posts on texting it would obviously pay more.
    Get back me, this is free money.
    [email protected]

  15. Mike Masters

    June 16, 2010 at 10:28 pm

    Ha, just noticed you already monetized it.
    Good for you, hope it is paying off.
    Have a good one.

  16. Anonymous

    June 29, 2010 at 1:10 am

    I girl who I went out with a few years ago started talking on myspace. A few days later when she was getting off she gave me her number. I txted her that night. The next night she txted me and we talked for awhile, and now tonight she txted me again. It seems like shes into me, but how do I play it cool?

    • Bobby Rio

      June 29, 2010 at 7:56 am

      Just don’t rush to get back to her… and keep it light, playful and fun. Eventually though, you’ll have to invite her along to do something

  17. pimpmaster

    July 14, 2010 at 6:49 am

    wow you suck

  18. Fuck bitches

    August 15, 2010 at 2:07 am

    Or you just grow some balls and learn how to talk to a girl face to face or on the phone at least. Texting gets you no where unless youre scared the other person wont like the way you look. If theh dont, then fu*k em. Move on to someone who does

  19. dtm47

    August 21, 2010 at 12:42 am

    i got a girls number the other night and asked her if she wanted to come to this promo event i was holding. when i texted her the day of and asked if she wanted to come she said she had other plans but definately next time. i waited two days and have texted her saying “hey (name). what are you doing tomorrow night? :)” to see if we could meet again. its too late to send a more personal text because we all know not to send too many. but i feel now that my second response to meet her again was too boring. anyone have any input on how to fix this or have i just lost her for good.

    • Bobby Rio

      August 21, 2010 at 1:27 am

      My feeling is… that there is no reason not to keep it going over text message. If you think you lost her anyway… what can another message hurt?

  20. dtm47

    August 21, 2010 at 12:50 am

    how do i post a comment

  21. technosugar

    January 11, 2011 at 6:49 am

    The first bit is great advice. Don’t text her. Call her. Bobby has the female perspective under his belt:

  22. JT

    August 19, 2011 at 12:15 am

    That video above is really good. Bobby has this down.
    I might add a little here and give everyone a head’s up on some great texting ideas that follow what’s in this article.

    And for the record, check out Pandora’s Box at the top of this page if you don’t have it yet. Good system. Or get The Vibe.

  23. Kirk

    November 1, 2011 at 3:11 pm

    Texting is a powerful tool no doubt. If you want to up your game, I have a very cool text program that celebrities are starting to us, check it out.

    You are at a club and you make contact. Get the babe to text the following:

    example: Text: Kirk To: 90210

    Try it…. you will get my biz info on your phone. My biz card jumps to your phone and I get your digits.

    The girl sees you as a stud muffin with a sweet number. YOu collect tons of digits and can send out a mass invite or you can text the one girl you really liked the next day.

    If you end up connecting to a psycho, she does not have your real number. This is how celebrities are starting to do it.

    I can hook you up with the 90210. Do my text then call me.

    Also, get the system and I can connect you to text clubs of celebrities and athletes who are giving away FREE stuff to build their text clubs.

    If you have a night club or audience, forget about it, you definitely need to contact me.

  24. Anonymous

    December 11, 2011 at 8:00 am

    Cul man… Nice work

  25. Chase

    January 4, 2012 at 8:29 pm

    Are you sure it’s better to call than to text? I’ve been reading up on this sexting/texting thing and just came from a page ( that said that “writing always possesses more conviction than talk.” Now I’m confused… Are phone calls necessary?

    Also, I’ve learned the hard way about “over-messaging.” Girls mysteriously stopped texting me when I came on too strong. Just wish I knew that now and I’d have a lot more women in my life. Frustrating as hell, but part of learning I suppose.

    Good shit…

  26. Will

    July 28, 2012 at 9:46 pm

    Hey I kno its kind of late but I text this girl and at time its very boring to text her cause she send one word messages what should I do?!

  27. troy

    December 28, 2012 at 10:50 pm


  28. GrrrC

    January 3, 2013 at 6:15 pm

    i have a question. i am texting this girl and she does not want to stop texting me, she is like addicted to me in some sort of way. So i do not want to text her too much cos then i run the risk of becoming her text buddy or make her lose attraction. and i find it hard to shake her off coz i want her to miss me. We have been texting each and everyday since we met. and it looks like text marathon. lol. now i wana now what 2 do exactly? do i keep on or shud deliberatly ignore when shes beggin my attention…

  29. why cold calling is a waste of time

    April 8, 2013 at 5:36 pm

    I’m amazed, I must say. Rarely do I come across a blog that’s both equally educative and
    interesting, and without a doubt, you’ve hit the nail on the head. The problem is an issue that too few people are speaking intelligently about. I’m very happy I stumbled across this in my hunt for something relating to this.

  30. shyguysalwaysloose

    August 12, 2013 at 4:23 am

    Great tips and advice
    I saw a beautiful lady an thought id surprise her with a booty bump an she responded i scared her but i totally didn’t mean to but i made her smile which i thank was good saw that she was with a friend a introduced myself but come to find out it was her mom :/ but introducing myself to her i hope was also a good move we chatted for about 10-15mins and before they left i asked for her number but i didn’t immediately text her im wondering if thats bad or good an when should i text her??or even what should i say any advice would be great

  31. Gohan

    November 30, 2014 at 5:37 pm

    “You have my number now but you are only allowed to call me once per day”-That is some manipulative bullshit. An attempt to change the woman thought pattern, so it can seem as if one she is clingy and needy for you. An if she goes against it, it makes her fall into that aforementioned thought pattern… as if she is obsess with you. I know they are guys who don’t mind or fully understand the power of words and that in most pua advice their is thought manipulation and just plain wrong doing, such as name calling…. the woman some thing that she is not, and worse calling her names that are plain derogative. Call her by her name or some thing agreed on is my view. I disagree on some advice which I have seen repeated multiple types on pua sites because it’s not respectful of the person mental health in my view. If it’s a woman you’re hooking up with, a woman you’re in a relationship with… leave your mark, so she can be stronger, wiser in some way. Be it you showing her how to make a paper air plain glide for a long time… if it’s showing her how to make money faster in a self respecting way, showing her verbal self defense. Leaving your mark once it improves her in her best interest, in some way.

You must be logged in to post a comment Login


Never Run Out of Things to Say to Women Again

  • Conversation Games That Create Attraction
  • The Secret to Making “Small Talk” Sexier
  • How to Make Her Laugh (and make her want you)
  • 3 Tricks to Avoid Awkward Silences

Yes... You Can
HAVE My Collection
of Word-for-Word Conversations with Women Report
(you get the PDF Report + Full Audio Training)

* This is a FREE service and no credit card required.