The “3-Story Rule” of Dating
If a woman doesn’t feel comfortable around you, she’s not going to sleep with you. Ever. I can’t imagine any time in the history of sex where a woman thought to herself, “Wow, this guy seems like a total creep, and he makes me feel really weird, but it’ll be a great idea to go back to his place where I can get completely naked and make myself totally vulnerable to him! Let’s go!”
Thus, it’s a crucial “dating skill” (and life skill) to get good at getting people comfortable around you. The fastest way to do that is by conveying yourself in a way that’s non-threatening and forthcoming.
Think about it: most “creepy” people you know are actually people you don’t know very well at all. You may see these people around (some may even be family members!), yet there’s some invisible wall that keeps you from fully understanding just who (or what) they really are.
Even if these creeps are forthcoming with their creepy personalities, you still feel weird and awkward around them because they fail at getting you to connect with their identity. For example, I have a creepy uncle who I’ve known my whole life, yet I don’t enjoy being around him because he’s always lecturing me on new-age bullshit I have no interest in.
Creepy happens when there’s no connection. Any time someone is labeled as a “creep” or “weird” it’s because they’re acting in a way that alienates the people around them. But enough with the theory…let’s examine the practical application of connecting and understand (and how it can improve your dating success).
For the last 3 years, I’ve abided by the same rule on every single date. Until now, I kept this rule a secret—only using it for my own selfish gains or sharing it with a few chosen students. But now I’m going to share that rule with you:
I cannot invite a girl to come back to my place until I’ve told my “3 stories.”
It may sound simplistic, but that little rule has helped me solidify more dates than anything else I’ve tried. By simply “forcing” myself to tell 3 simple stories from my life, I can connect with women in a fast and significant way.
Now it’s all well and good for me to tell you the rule, but it’s worthless unless I tell you specifically WHAT stories to tell. Otherwise, you may end up like my creepy uncle, prattling on about new-age bullshit no one has any interest in.
The best way to connect with anyone is through shared experience. Whenever I meet fellow dating instructors, I usually bond with them pretty quickly. We have a lot in common: love of women, understanding the “truth” of approaching women, coaching students, etc. The stories I find myself sharing with other dating instructors usually involve those topics.
With a woman, you need to find shared experiences. Since every woman is different, what’s the best way to consistently do this? Easy: childhood/adolescent memories! Too often guys on dates bring up “adult” conversation topics: work, etc. These topics are not a great way to make a connection.
Here are some of my all-time favorite “story” ideas:
• First kiss
• Embarrassing moment from grammar school
• Awesome high school teacher
• First drunken experience
• Scariest/craziest moment from childhood
• First girlfriend
• Things I thought were cool when I was a kid
Unless you’re some sort of freak, you probably have a story for every topic I just mentioned. You can sure that any (normal) girl you find yourself on a date with also has a story for each topic. As such, you will quickly and easily be able to forge a solid connection just by telling your story…and tell 3 stories, you’ll be ready to invite her back to your place.
Or so the rule goes (works for me!). On your next date, try sprinkling in your stories and watch as you instantly get a woman feeling comfortable and connected to you. In my next article, I’m going to dissect the anatomy of a great story…so watch this space!
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About Rob J. Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.