3 Reasons Why A Girl Will Test You
In this video you’ll learn why girls’ test guys, and how to pass these tests and have a girl even more attracted to you. These tests help girls discover how needy or approval seeking you are. And the more of these unattractive traits you display, the less likely she will become attracted to you.
This is why it is important to be aware of these tests, and to know how to respond to them.
Bobby: Hey guys I’m Bobby Rio. This is Rob Judge and we’ve got another video for you today.
Today’s video, we’re going to be talking about how to pass a girl’s test. Because whether you realize it or not, every time you’re dealing with a girl whether it’s a conversation or whether it’s over a period of a blossoming relationship, she’s going to be testing you.
There’s several reasons why she does this and that’s what we’re going to talk about today.
The first reason that a girl will test you is because you’re trying too hard and she senses that maybe you’re not being yourself around her. Maybe you’re putting on this nice guy act.
Rob: Any time she senses this in congruence or inconsistency in your behavior or how she perceives you, she’s going to start testing you. No matter how much you feel like you’re being yourself and no matter how comfortable you feel in the situation, you probably have given a couple signals off to a woman that you’re acting, maybe you’re a little inconsistent.
Maybe you’re acting a little more confident than you usually would or a little bit more shy than you usually would or a little bit funnier or some aspect of your personality gets a little exaggerated, and it sends a red flag up that maybe this guy isn’t exactly the person he’s portraying himself as.
Bobby: Yeah, and what’s interesting about what Rob said is a lot of guys wonder why does it seem like women like assholes or why do women like bad boys, right? A lot of it is because these guys pass her tests. The reason they do this is because they’re not really trying to impress her. They’re a little bit more honest in their actions.
A lot of guys go, “Oh I don’t want to have to be an asshole and be a dick… ” They don’t realize that by being the “nice guy” you’re actually being more dishonest then these guys are. These guys are being real and she picks up on that.
Now she can let her guard down because she’s like this guy’s not really trying to impress me. Something here clicks in her mind and she’s like maybe I should be paying a little bit more attention to this guy.
What I want you to do is I want you to think real quick about a guy that you know. Maybe it’s yourself, who on the surface he’s good looking. He’s kind of cool, he’s funny, he dresses good. He does get some girls here and there, but never the girl he really wants. You really can’t figure it out. You go, “Why is … What’s his detriment?”
I could almost guarantee it’s because he’s giving off a vibe that makes girls test him even more, and he’s not passing these tests.
The second reason a girl will test you is that she senses that you might get clingy or needy if she hooks up with you.
Rob: Yeah. This is something that I think it’s every girls worst nightmare. If you have any female friends or even past girlfriends and you’ve spoken to them … It’s kind of weird, but one of my favorite things to talk about with girls is sometimes just bringing up funny dating stories, dating blooper stories, and a lot of the times if you’ll talk to girls about just horrible dates they had or horrible experiences with guys that they went on dates with.
It’s usually because the guy got super needy or super clingy, and it goes into almost stalker mode where it becomes comical after the fact, but when a girl’s living though that I’m sure it’s horrific, and you don’t want to be the guy who’s giving girls these horrific, needy experiences.
Bobby: Yeah but what Rob said is actually really good. By bringing it up it’s almost preemptive. By talking about you and going … Even a comment, “You’re not going to become one of those stalker girls and if we go on a date you’re going to be showing up at my work?”
By saying that you’re acknowledging I’ve dealt with it and I’m not that kind of guy. You’re saying that to her and it’s a preemptive move which I think is really, really good.
Rob: That is a great pro tip. Sometimes when you can laugh at something or you guys can make a joke about something about past behavior, you’re showing that you’re such an authority on it that you obviously know that acting that way is not appropriate, it’s not attractive, and it’s never going to get you the girl so you’re not going to do it.
Bobby: Let’s talk about the last one. I’m going to admit that I’ve been really guilty of this one. That’s when you’re trying too hard to be cool and she’s trying to sense if there’s any so called chinks in your armor. You’re coming across almost like you’re too cool, and she’s like is this guy for real? Is he really this confident? She wants to know.
To me, when I was learning some of this stuff, I knew I had to be more confident and I knew that I had to project this carefree vibe, but at the time years ago it wasn’t real. It was fake. Girls would throw a simple comment out there and I would crumble, crumble. Everything, my whole façade would just crumble because she would say something … I had one girl and we’re flirting and she goes, “I’m not going to hook up with you tonight.” All of a sudden I did not know how to react to that. She looked at me and I started back pedaling and everything that I had going for me was gone with that one comment.
Rob: Oh my God. I’ve been burned so many times too. When I was first … Especially when you first start out. When you first start out … The analogy that I always give, it’s like Wile Coyote. If you watch the old Road Runner cartoons. You know when he’s chasing Road Runner and he chases him off the canyon cliff, and Wile Coyote, he’ll keep running right? Until he notices he’s not on solid ground. Then he’ll look down, look at the camera, and then he plummets into the canyon.
I think that every guy has been that Wile Coyote character where you can act confident, you can run on air until you realize … Until a lot of the times … A lot of the times the moment that it stops working is when you go, “Oh my God it’s working.”
Rob: That’s when you get tested. It’s like boom! It’s almost like she can hear that thought in your head and she’s like, “Oh time to test this guy because I don’t think this is the way he really is.”
I know when I was first starting out I made that same mistake where I would go out and I would project myself as this very gregarious, outgoing, confident, charismatic guy.
I could do it for a little bit, but as soon as a girl started realizing this might not be the guy he really is, I would get locked out, “I’m not hooking up with you,” or “Do you say this to all the girls?” Some comment that really now, when I think back on it, it’s ridiculous and I laugh over it because I realize I was being tested, but at the time I just felt like she just pulled all the wind out of my sails.
That it was like I just went into this tailspin where I would just try to back pedal and I would try to validate myself or tried harder to prove why I was that guy.
Which would just make it so much worse, and of course I would lose the girl.
Bobby: Yeah, girls do this whether it’s in an initial conversation where she’s flirting with you and she’s trying to feel you out. They also do it a lot when there’s … I don’t like to use courtship, but when there’s a courtship going on. When you’ve got her number. Maybe you’ve gone a date, and you’re trying to move things towards a relationship if that’s what you’re after.
What Rob and I, now that we coach this, we’ve both been coaching this for seven years individually with guys, dealing with them. What we’ve found is there’s almost always a moment where the girl pulls back. Maybe she … All of a sudden she was answering all your texts really fast and then boom, two days have gone by, she still hasn’t replied to a text or maybe she was always available to hang out. Every time you asked her to hang out it was like, “Oh yeah, definitely.” “Oh yeah I‘m free, I’m free.” Then all of a sudden now she’s like, “Oh I can’t.”
What she’s ultimately doing is she’s going everything with this guy was great when I was validating him, when I was laughing at his jokes, when we were with him, but how is he when things aren’t going so smooth, right?
Rob: Yeah. When she pulls back those signals that she’s interested of validating that “pimp self” where you’re just being the man, you’re being charismatic, you’re being funny; all your jokes your hitting. It’s real easy to be that guy when she’s giggling, when she’s texting back right away, she’s showing up to dates on time, she’s agreeing with everything you’re saying. It’s super easy to be that confident guy.
Rob: I’m like the Dos Equis guy when that’s happening. I’m just the most interesting, awesome man in the world, but your real self comes out when she pulls that back.
Bobby: Here’s what happens when she pulls it back is you’re a twelve on a scale of one to ten in terms of how you feel about yourself when she’s giving you that instant validation, when she always wants to hang out with you, when she’s answering your texts. You feel like the king of the fucking world, right? It feels really good, it’s like being on a natural high.
Then all of a sudden she pulls back and boom, it’s all gone. Now you go from being a twelve to being a two, and you’re like, “What the?” Now you’re scurrying. You’re in this reel of trying to get back that feeling because it felt really good when a girl was into you. Especially if she’s a girl you really like.
It’s all about one word and that word is certainty. When you’re very certain about the way she feels about you it’s very easy to be on. When that certainty goes away you fall into what we call is emotional quicksand. Where all of a sudden now, you don’t know what’s going on. You’re not in stable ground and you’re clawing back to her.
What happens when you’re clawing back to her is your mind is convincing yourself I really like this girl. She’s the only one for me. I need to get her back, I need to get her back, I need to get her back. I need to do whatever I can.
Meanwhile because you have that attitude, you’re just pushing her further away. She was actually just probably going to text you back like an hour ago, but then you started texting her, “Did I do something wrong?” “What happened?”
Rob: “Are you still alive?”
Bobby: “Are you still alive?” You just pushed her back. Now the interesting thing about this thing is what Rob and I discovered, right? Is that this idea of certainty and stable ground is just as effective on a woman. What guys can do is we call it … A lot of guys say well how do I pass her test?
There’s plenty of ways. We always can give you examples of how to pass a test, but even more powerful that is beginning to test a woman yourself because when you’re into her, she feels like a twelve on a scale of one to ten and she feels like the king of the world, and she feels like I got this guy.
Then when you pull the rug out from under her, she’s the one scurrying. She’s the one going, “I need to get this guy back, I need to get this guy back.” “I must really like him, I really must like him.” The question is, how do you do that? That’s what we figured out.
We put together a video for you where we’re going to teach you four things that women are conditioned to chase. She can’t help it, it’s in her DNA. It’s an instinct in her that … We call it scrambling her mind, and it gets her in that position of she’s just been tested.
Imagine when the woman is testing you and you’re sitting at home going, “Why isn’t she calling me back?” You’re decoding her behavior with your friends and you’re calling your friends and going, “Dude she’s not answering my phone,” or “She’s texted this, what did it mean?”
We’re going to teach you how to put a girl in that position. The reason that we teach this, and some people say, “Well isn’t that manipulation?” “Isn’t that … ” This is what a girl wants. This is what a girl is attracted to. This is what turns a girl on. She likes this mystery. She likes being in a position where she has to figure you out.
You might have heard Rob or I say, “Once a girl figures you out it’s over, and you’ll never have her.” Well the opposite is if a girl can’t figure you out, she’s going to be fighting for your attention. We put together this video where we’re going to show you four steps to get her fighting for your attention.
Click the link below and we’re going to teach you this mind game that we call the scrambler; that’s going to show you exactly what to do.
And here is another article related to the subject: https://www.tsbmag.com/2012/04/23/when-she-tells-you-about-her-problems/
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.