How To Make The Right First Impression With A Girl
Wouldn’t it be great if there was an exit interview when we get a rejection from a woman? It would be great to get that insight. Men often walk away from a failed pick-up attempt wondering “What did I do wrong?”.
Just so you know, this question has been posed to women over the years and most of the reasons for rejection center around their first impression. And, most men don’t realize that a first impression isn’t just what she sees when she first looks at him.
The first impression these days encompasses not only the first look, but also that first conversation and, surprisingly, the first date.
Yes, first impressions are a three-part impression. The upside here is that with the right look, approach, and attitude, you can pass muster at each checkpoint.
No matter how shallow you might classify it, how you look impacts her first impression. Let’s face it, every great pick-up begins with eye contact and visible attraction. Just like you do with women, she begins judging you by what she sees.
Men who go out with the intent to try and meet a girl, need to dress the part. Like they say, clothes make the man. If you look like you just pulled your clothes out of a 3-day old laundry basket, she will notice. Now, if the current style is the “wrinkled paper” look, you are fine. Otherwise, get your look together.
Clean, laundered clothing, a nice haircut and a groomed face (beard or no beard) garner a positive first-look impression. Make strong eye contact and smile a bit so you don’t look like a predator. She needs to see that you are interested.
The next step in a great first impression is being confident and aggressive enough to make a move. Don’t take aggressive too literally though. Seriously, tackling her is not going to go over well. What I mean is, don’t play coy or shy and try to make eye contact multiple times before you approach. That doesn’t sell well.
Yes, many women may have some amount of feminism in them, but they still want a man that takes charge. When you make eye contact and you read interest, make the move. Grab your balls and go get face to face before someone else does.
What you say and do when you do get up close is your next challenge. Confidence and poise are two things every man should have in his arsenal. He needs the confidence to speak and the poise to speak right.
Disclaimer: I will admit, I am not a fan of the “pick-up line.”
Yes, there are some women out there that enjoy a good, corny pick-up line, but they aren’t the majority. Some men have one or two pick-up lines that they attempt with women. If you choose to go this route, at least have the poise to play it as a humorous ice-breaker. Just don’t make it your bread and butter because women can tell when you are re-using a line.
The best approach is targeting something about her, like her outfit, shoes or hair, and comment on that. Or, better yet, introduce yourself and tell her you couldn’t resist coming to talk to her after seeing her.
Just remember to not let nerves get in your way. They will cause you to overcompensate, such as talking too fast or pushing to be funny. Relax and just talk to her. Be confident and control the conversation. This gives her the impression that you are the self-aware Alpha she is looking for.
When you are talking to her for the first time, be real. Ask questions about her from interest (here are 7 great questions to ask), and don’t turn her answers into a reason to promote yourself. Be humble and honest when she asks you questions. Give direct answers so you don’t seem dodgy.
Avoid being overly complimentary as this gives a “needy” vibe. You can put a woman on a pedestal through action and manners without having to stroke her ego. The mood of the conversation needs to be light, fun and lets her know that you are talking to her because she is more important than the rest of the women around you.
Just remember to think before you speak so you don’t talk yourself out of a first date.
It is the move from initial contact to the first date that men find themselves at another rejection point. Remember, it is a FIRST date, which means it is still making a first impression on her. Men can often lose focus on this point and fail.
Women want confidence and control from a man, true. However, the other thing they desperately need is consistency. The man they met the first night is the man they expect to enjoy their first date with.
What does this mean for you? That you keep doing what you did that first night, that landed the date.
To box this all up in a neat package, you need to wrap your head around something. Most first impressions are destroyed by a lack of confidence. If you don’t do the things that build confidence – groom well, feel good about yourself, expect rejection as an option, etc. – then it will impact your game.
Notice I included “expect rejection as an option”. This doesn’t mean you go in expecting to fail; that doesn’t build confidence. What it means is that rejection is the worst thing that can happen. News flash: Everyone gets rejected sometimes. If a man tells you he has never been rejected, he is either lying or he only dates prostitutes; just sayin’. Rejection isn’t life-ending. It lets you know that you need to improve; this is what adversity teaches us.
Picking up women is a gamble, but it is a risk worth taking. Be confident that you have something to offer. If a woman shows an interest in you from eye contact, you have an open door to success. Know who you are when you walk in the door and she will appreciate who you are when she walks through that door with you.
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About robertbrasher A creative writer for many years, with experiences in many areas. People fascinate me, and stoke my desire to educate the masses on the madness we can and do create in this world. Through writing, we pass knowledge; through understanding, we pass tradition.