How To Find And Keep Your Perfect Woman
Do you fantasise about meeting and marrying your ‘perfect 10?’ Do you daydream about waking up to a wife and children who you’re immensely in love with?
This is perfectly natural and absolutely possible for you…
However, the first thing you should know is that everything the mainstream media teaches about how to get a girlfriend is wrong.
In nearly all TV shows and movies, the male protagonist finds his perfect woman, falls in love, then chases her with all his heart.
If she doesn’t like him, he shows more love, until she sees the error of her ways.
Sadly, in real life, this strategy won’t secure the affections of your dream woman. On the rare occasion it does, the relationship usually ends as a complete shit show.
Let’s explore why…
We’re taught by Disney films that a man should fall in love with one woman, then do whatever it takes to get her. That’s not how it works in real life.
One explanation surrounds masculine and feminine energy. Masculine energy is centred around the desire for freedom. Feminine energy centres around love, beauty and affection. Men who actively pushing for a relationship show a lot of feminine energy, which is naturally off-putting for a feminine woman. After all, it’s the opposite energies that create sexual attraction.
A simpler explanation? Men who fall for women too quickly are usually lacking other things to make them happy. Women don’t want to be the missing piece of your puzzle. They want to be the sexy cherry on top of your awesome completed puzzle.
If you see a beautiful woman, ask her on a date as soon as possible. The speed between spotting her and asking her out makes you appear assured. Getting to know her for months before your first date is unnecessary. It’s also a great way to miss your chance altogether.
Being denied at this point should be no big deal. She’s NOT your dream woman yet. You barely know her. You haven’t seen her naked. Plus, your dream woman should be smart enough to see how awesome you are.
Even if you’ve been on a couple of dates and slept together, she doesn’t belong on this pedestal yet.
By all means, stay in contact, but:
do NOT become obsessed;
do NOT stop meeting other women because you only want her;
do keep your options open.
The best way to become a compelling option for her is to date other women. This will tame the neediness that repels her. It’ll give you social proof for her to spot on social media. Most importantly, it’ll help confirm whether she’s really that much better than the other women out there.
Ok, so you’ve found a decent girl who really likes you? Does that mean you should rush into a relationship?
In many cases, the dude who’s desperate to settle down doesn’t have the skills to sleep with loads of women…
That’s a recipe for disaster.
Even if this guy does get a girlfriend, this lack of seduction skills is likely to fuck him over in the long run.
Men need to learn:
how to emotionally excite a woman;
what type of woman is actually right for them.
Without these lessons, any long-term relationship he enters is likely to end in tears. Yet, he can’t learn them while tied down to one woman throughout his early twenties.
It’s commonly argued that a man shouldn’t fall in love until he’s learned to love himself. In actual fact, he shouldn’t fall in love until he can attract lots of women.
Otherwise, he’ll end up in an ‘average relationship’ (at best) – and the odds of that turning out well aren’t in his favour.
The ‘average dude’ DOESN’T learn to spike women’s sexual emotions, nor what type of woman is right for him. That’s why he only has six sexual partners throughout his lifetime.
Typically, he couples up with the best woman available through his work or through friends. It’s usually a small pool, so the odds of her being his perfect fit are minimal.
By choosing this stable average dude, this woman gets her big wedding day and her dream of being a mother.
But what happens next?
That’s your destiny if you’re an ‘average dude’ who doesn’t have good game.
Let’s look at some common reasons for divorce:
lack of intimacy.
Could these problems be avoided if the ‘average dude’ learned how to excite women emotionally? This is the best way to keep her attracted physically. Sadly, a lot of ‘average dudes’ never learn this. They win their average wife over with ‘provider male’ skills only. As such, sex eventually dries up, and one or both members go looking for it elsewhere.
Some more common reasons:
excessive nagging and arguments;
disagreements over money;
different goals for the future;
Could these issues be avoided if the ‘average dude’ had a larger pool of women to choose his wife from? It could be argued so.
Developing your seduction skills might be difficult, but it’s nowhere near as earth-shattering as losing money and custody of your kids in a divorce. Especially once it comes to re-entering the singles market with a crushed soul in your 30s and 40s…
The only option is to work on your seduction skills NOW, generate a huge pool of great women to choose from, then pick one who’s actually your perfect fit.
When you meet some woman who is showing interest in you, don’t rush into a relationship with her. Even if you’re sure she’s way better than other women you’ve met, hold out for a while.
Keep dating other women. Give her some space to chase you. Give her a reason to prove she’s your best option. Cling on to your casual relationship status, at least until she brings up the classic conversation of ‘what are we?’.
Women love the thrill of the chase more than men. Give her the excitement of being unsure about you. Once she finally wins you, she’ll be thrilled.
This creates an important dynamic within the relationship. A dynamic that you’re the champion, who chose her from a pool of great options. Why else would you initially be so resistant unsure about settling down with her?
This dynamic does a lot to keep on her best behaviour within the relationship.
No unnecessary tantrums. No poison dripping. No using sex as a weapon. Because she knows you’re the type of guy who could ditch her for a woman who doesn’t act like this…
The best way to keep a good woman by your side is to keep doing the things that attracted her in the first place.
Stay in shape. Keep your exciting social life. Continue thriving professionally. In short, remain a man who would be attractive to many women. A great woman will be inspired by this and remain at her best too.
In short, never stop seducing your wife.
Too many losers think they can turn into Al Bundy once they’re in a long-term relationship. Not in 2018. Even with a ring on her finger. A real winner shouldn’t ever want to stop inspiring his woman, anyway.
If you can be the rock who inspires her, while taking care of her emotional and physical needs, she’d be a fool to leave.
Once you’re locked into an awesome relationship, you actually can start with these romantic gestures you see in the movies.
She’ll appreciate these acts of love once you’re in a solid partnership, because they’re not coming from a place of desperation.
In that sense, Hollywood doesn’t have it completely wrong. You can spoil a woman rotten and make her feel like your princess, but only once you’ve chosen her from abundance.
About Joe Elvin Joe Elvin travels the world working remotely as a lifestyle writer and confidence coach. Throughout 2017, he filmed his entire dating life as part of a national television documentary in the UK. His new book 'The Camera Never Lies' details the brutal truths about dating and relationships learned from this experience. You can learn more about the book and download the first chapter for free by clicking here >>