7 Things “Nice Guys” Don’t Understand About Women
It’s possible to be attractive without being an asshole.
A lot of the “nice guys” struggling to get girls don’t understand this.
Many think it’s their niceness that’s driving women away. That’s not the case at all.
In most cases, it’s where this niceness is coming from.
If you want to be a nice guy with an active dating life, it’s important to understand what women LIKE and what they HATE about this behaviour.
Women LIKE compliments. They HATE when you’re nice as a strategy to get in their pants.
Nice guys tend to pepper people with compliments, regardless of whether they’ve earned it.
When you do this, you come across as desperate for people to like you. This needy energy makes people want to run away.
Compliments are more powerful when used sparingly. Instead of complimenting a woman incessantly, wait until she says something genuinely impressive. She’ll appreciate the gesture more because it felt like she earned it.
By all means, throw in an occasional comment about her appearance, but don’t go overboard. This tells a woman she can have you at any time, even if she’s done nothing to earn it. It takes away her opportunity to chase you, leaving little left to excite her.
This is why women describe nice guys as boring. Essentially, you’re just another guy supplicating to her because she’s hot.
Women LIKE when a man takes the lead. They want a cool guy to approach them. They want him to push things forward romantically. They HATE when they have to do this.
Nice guys might think it’s respectful to wait for her to hint that she wants to be kissed or pulled home – but this actually makes her look like a huge slut.
This is why women tend to only show subtle hints of attraction.
When a date or night out ends without you pulling the trigger, you don’t look like a gentleman. You look like a pussy.
This is why nice guys get ghosted, even after building a “great connection” with women.
Women LIKE when you tease them. This is what people do when they’re comfortable around each other. It communicates you’re not afraid of losing her. It gives her the rollercoaster of wondering whether you like her or not.
They HATE when you do nothing but supplicate and compliment her. It doesn’t stimulate her emotions at all.
Women LIKE when you express your personality without filters. She needs to get to know you before she experiences attraction.
So many nice guys make the mistake of getting to know her first. They do this by asking boring interview questions she’s answered a million times before.
This is a nice thing to do when making friends, but it does nothing to help you stand out as a potential sexual partner.
Also, women HATE giving personal information away to guys they barely know. At best, it bores her. At worst, it triggers her fear of being stalked.
You’re better off blabbing about whatever’s on your mind, until she actually wants to tell you about herself.
Women may LIKE when you do favours and pay for stuff, but they HATE feeling like you’re doing so to get something in return.
This is why you’re better off splitting the bill instead of paying for dates. When you pay, there’s too much risk of her feeling like she owes you. Women can’t stand feeling like they’re being bought. When they feel like this, they’ll often withdraw affection just to make a point.
Honestly, you’re safer not doing any favours until she’s become an important part of your life.
Women LIKE to see proof you’re good with girls. This helps confirm she’s dating a true champion. She’ll be searching for proof of this in your behaviour – perhaps by throwing a few shit tests – but there’s no harm of dropping hints of it on your social media too.
Be careful though. She’ll HATE if you’re too overt about being a fuckboy. This can come across as try-hard, or make her feel like a worthless side-bitch. You can post pictures of yourself with other women, but don’t make it too sexual or act like it’s a big deal.
Women LIKE ‘the chase’ of locking down someone in a relationship. They HATE when you try to become her boyfriend too quickly. The pursuit of freedom is a core element of masculinity. The pursuit of a stable family is inherently feminine. As such, let her be the one to suggest coupling up.
About Joe Elvin Joe Elvin travels the world working remotely as a lifestyle writer and confidence coach. Throughout 2017, he filmed his entire dating life as part of a national television documentary in the UK. His new book 'The Camera Never Lies' details the brutal truths about dating and relationships learned from this experience. You can learn more about the book and download the first chapter for free by clicking here >>