How To Overcome Heartbreak
There’s no getting around it. Heartbreak is extremely painful.
In the most extreme cases, it can send you into a spiralling depression. Your head spins. Your stomach feels punctured. Your ability to experience joy seemingly disappears.
Worst of all, it can feel like there’s no way to move on.
Thankfully, there are steps you can take to quickly recover from a broken heart.
The guide below explains how to bounce back from a break-up, plus how to reduce the impact of losing a woman in the first place.
The pain of heartbreak often stems from the belief that your life is set to be RUINED by the loss of a woman.
Maybe you thought she was the only girl for you – and that you’ll NEVER find a new partner as good as her.
Now, as much as TV shows and movies like to spread messages about soulmates and your ‘one true love’, this isn’t how reality works.
The truth is: there are thousands of women who are suitable for you. It is more than possible for you to fall in love again after a break-up. Unromantic but true.
In order to realise this, all men should take the steps to become attractive to women in general, rather than settling for the first woman who will have them. Ideally, your partner will have done the same.
This helps to create healthier romantic relationships, because you won’t be governed by the fear of losing each other. Instead, you can enjoy your relationship, knowing you chose each other from an abundance of options. What’s more, you’ll be comforted to know that if it doesn’t work out, you’ll eventually be able to find someone more suitable.
A lot of guys feel the painful symptoms of heartbreak when they lose a girl they weren’t even exclusive with. Believe it or not, some feel this way after being turned down by a crush they weren’t even dating!
This most commonly occurs when a man has put all his romantic hopes into that one woman.
In that situation, when he loses her, he loses everything! He puts all his eggs in one basket, then drops the basket. No wonder it hits him like a horse kick to the stomach.
This is why it’s highly recommended to be dating multiple girls. It stops you acting overly needy or possessive towards one particular woman (which they hate) and helps you find the most suitable partner more quickly.
What’s more, if you drop a basket, it’ll be far less upsetting.
Ultimately, you’ll find a woman who’s so amazing that you only want to be with her. Better yet, she only wants to be with you.
That’s an awesome situation. You can gain a lot of happiness from a monogamous relationship.
Sure, it’ll hurt if you lose her – but there are steps you can take within that relationship to lessen the pain of a potential break-up.
Here are some ideas:
Together, these steps can be labelled as building a life that’s awesome without women in it. It’s highly recommended to do this whether you’re single or in a relationship.
It stops you being too dependent on your woman for happiness, and prevents you feeling like you’ve lost “everything” if the relationship falls apart.
It’s completely normal to feel sad after losing someone you care about.
In fact, the first step to a quick recovery is to let yourself feel sad. Mourn. Cry. Express whatever emotions you are feeling! This process will help you let go of these feelings far quicker.
It may feel like you’re being strong by suppressing your emotions, but this tends to be more harmful in the long run. Instead of releasing these negative emotions, you hold onto them. They weigh you down and affect your day-to-day mood. Often, you end up having a bigger emotional breakdown further down the road. It’s better to get this out of the way now.
As part of this grieving process, you should accept your relationship is over. A lot of guys try to cope by holding onto hopes of reconciliation. However, this does nothing to help you move on. If overcoming heartbreak is your aim, it’s best to cut all contact. For the time being at least, remove any photos or belongings that remind you of her too.
Take a couple of days to focus on grieving if you have to. Once this process is over, it’s time to get out there and meet new women as soon as possible.
You may not feel like it. The transition from loving relationship to dealing with rejection will be a slap in the face. But, you‘ll adjust eventually. Soon enough, you’ll start to enjoy the good parts of being single – and it’s usually at this point that other women begin to trickle into your life.
Don’t compare them to your former love. Enjoy them for who they are. Go date other women. Before you know it, there’ll be new love interests on your mind.
It’s absolutely possible to remain friends with an ex-partner, but this isn’t recommended immediately after a painful break-up.
Both parties have to completely recover from the loss of a partner, before anything resembling a healthy friendship can form.
Often, a woman will reach out to try and form a friendship far too early. This is her way of trying to deal with the emotions surrounding the break-up.
Even if you really care about her, deny this request.
A premature reunion as ‘friends’ only serves to create more harmful emotions for one or both of you. Jealousy of new love interests. False hope of rekindling the romance. New arguments about the old relationship. It needlessly complicates the recovery process. Hopefully, you have plenty of other friends to hang out with during this time.
Some couples will never be able to form a post-breakup friendship. That’s a shame, in some ways.
However, once you’ve moved on from your relationship, it’s common you’ll see no logical reasons to hang out with your ex ever again.
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About Joe Elvin Joe Elvin travels the world working remotely as a lifestyle writer and confidence coach. Throughout 2017, he filmed his entire dating life as part of a national television documentary in the UK. His new book 'The Camera Never Lies' details the brutal truths about dating and relationships learned from this experience. You can learn more about the book and download the first chapter for free by clicking here >>