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Do Women Like Casual Sex?

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Women have a lot more to consider when it comes to sex outside of a relationship 

You meet a woman, get along well, try to escalate it to sex and she tells you she’s ‘not that type of girl’ who hooks up quickly. If this happens enough times, you may start to believe that most women aren’t into casual sex.

Oftentimes, if you ask them, they’ll tell you this too. However, the truth is: many women will be ‘that type of girl’ if you’re ‘that type of guy’. 

Let’s look at the facts. Sex is completely natural. It feels amazing for women, as well as men. In fact, women supposedly have up to 16 times more capacity for sexual pleasure than men. 

However, there’s a lot more at risk for a woman when she engages with a new partner. To be the ‘type of guy’ who has a lot of casual sex, you first have to understand these risks.

What do women risk when engaging in casual sex? 

For starters, there’s a physical risk. If she goes off with a guy, she’s risking being sexually assaulted and unable to defend herself.  

There’s also an emotional risk. Sex is a highly emotional experience for a lot of women – and they’ll typically be a lot more careful than men to avoid being hurt by a bad sexual encounter. 

Perhaps most commonly though, she’s also at risk of being shamed for her promiscuity. For reasons we won’t dive into here, much of society has decided that promiscuous women are cheap, dirty, low-value people. 

If she believes you (or anyone else who is likely to find out about her actions) think this way, she will not hook up with you quickly. What’s more, she may deny having ever casually hooked up with anyone. 

Why do women deny enjoying casual sex?

There are plenty of surveys which support the belief that most women enjoy casual sex. This one says that the average American woman has had six one-night stands. 

Still, if the average woman isn’t telling you about all the casual sex she has, it’s most likely because she doesn’t trust you. Or she doesn’t trust someone who could possibly hear her. 

Yes, she needs to trust you won’t physically or emotionally hurt her. Provided you’re a good guy who genuinely cares about not doing this, this trust shouldn’t be too difficult to build. 

However, she also needs to trust that you won’t think less of her for putting out too quickly, or blab to your friends about how easy she is. It can be a lot harder to build this trust. 

Even if it feels 16 times better for women, most will agree that casual sex is not worth being slut-shamed for. 

How can you have more casual sex?

RSD Tyler famously described the people who have a lot of casual sex as being part of a ‘secret society’. 

His explanation suggests that this society and the goings-on within it are kept secret in order to protect women’s reputations.

Indeed, the best way to get more casual sex is by demonstrating that you’re already part of this ‘society’.  

Here are some ways you can do this: 

  • You are a generally cool and attractive guy.
  • You understand that women like casual sex, but also why they need to deny it. 
  • You don’t get flustered, defensive or embarrassed when talking about sex.
  • You never show signs of judgment when someone else talks about casual sex.
  • You give signs that you have a lot of casual sex, and that your partners enjoy it as much as you. Ideally, this is subtle. It’s a lot more effective to show rather than tell
  • At the same time, you can tell stories of your female friends being promiscuous, in a non-judgemental way. 
  • You understand that any talk of her being ‘not that type of girl’ is most likely a shit test and treat it as such. 
  • At the same time, you respect her need to hide her promiscuity from other people. This means you don’t get overly sexual in public and pull her home in such a way where no-one would find out she had sex.
  • You fuck her well and treat her with respect. If you do this and she’s truly happy being in a casual relationship with you, she’ll recommend you to her friends.
  • You’re not overly desperate to spend time with her or chase a relationship (more on this below).    

Supply, demand and casual sex

The ‘traditional’ dating world mostly looks like this:  

  • The average guy has horribly short supply of sex.
  • The average woman receives incredibly high demand for sex.  

In this world, the woman makes the rules and a man bends over backwards to follow them. Often, she’ll make him wine and dine her for weeks without paying a penny. If he wants her enough, he’ll do it. If he doesn’t, someone else will. Ironically, by bending over backwards like this, he demonstrates his scarcity of options and the woman will often lose attraction. 

However, when a man is having a lot of casual sex and a woman understands this, the rules of the dating game shift in his favor. The man can often decide he doesn’t want to take her on any dates, or pay for anything and still sleep with her. Even more ironically, this demonstrates his abundance of options, and can often make a woman gain attraction. If she wants him enough, she’ll do it. If she doesn’t, someone else will.   

Honestly, if you’re not having enough casual sex, your best bet is to start acting like you are

Women might tell you they’ll only settle for men who spoil them and show their devotion. But the best guys have the most options, so they don’t have to do any of that. If a woman wants to date or even hang around one of these guys, she has to follow his rules. 

This law of supply, demand and casual sex can reach ridiculous levels with the highest status guys. Dan Bilzerian travels to the world with a fleet of women who are reportedly ready to have sex with him at any time. You better believe there are tons of celebrities, rockstars, pick-up artists and billionaire playboys doing similar things outside of social media. 

There are tons of women who will explore all sorts of sexual boundaries to be around men of this status. What’s more, these guys understand how the ‘secret society’ of casual sex works, so it’s a win-win. 

Not all women like casual sex, but many do

Some women will take ‘casual sex’ to mean ‘sex with no emotions’, and consider themselves ‘not that type of girl’ for this reason. Others place more value on their religious beliefs or want to focus on finding a partner to start a family. 

Indeed, these things could be more important to you than no-strings sex. 

However, if you are looking to have more sex outside the constraints of a traditional monogamous relationship, there are plenty of women who would be excited to comply with this. 

You just need to be that ‘that type of guy’.

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About Joe Elvin Joe Elvin travels the world working remotely as a lifestyle writer and confidence coach. Throughout 2017, he filmed his entire dating life as part of a national television documentary in the UK. His new book 'The Camera Never Lies' details the brutal truths about dating and relationships learned from this experience. You can learn more about the book and download the first chapter for free by clicking here >>

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