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How To Go Out Sober And Still Get Girls

Your guide to seducing women without getting wasted  

Going out to meet women while sober is exceptionally useful, because you’ll grow from the experience and become a far better seducer. 

You’ll actually remember what went well in your interactions, as well as what didn’t and why. Plus, you’ll be forced to expand your comfort zone on a regular basis. 

There’s the obvious health and financial benefits on top of that.    

Most guys understand the benefits of meeting women while sober, but few can actually bring themselves to do it effectively. 

In this guide, we’ll explain some useful tips and tricks to help you remain as brave and charismatic as your drunk self. 

Going sober is no different to giving up any bad habit 

Getting wasted in the club is simply a habit. A bad habit. 

The first steps to giving up any bad habit is to understand and truly believe in the benefits of doing so, and the drawbacks of keeping it. 

Many of these were listed in the introduction. Let’s now add that sobriety makes you mentally sharper. You’ll be able to read her social cues better. You’ll respond to her shit tests faster. You’ll be quicker to know the next move needed to pull her home.

Plus, you won’t repulse her with your horrible sloppy-drunk game. Sure, you may have got laid a few times while wasted, but that’s in spite of your inebriation. It’s highly likely you’ve repelled hundreds more women.

All professional dating coaches have mastered the art of sober game. If you want to become as skilled as them one day, you’ll need to do the same.   

Here are some more basic tips for giving up bad habits. You might not necessarily need any of these, but they could prove helpful.  

    • Get support. Tell your wingman you don’t want to drink tonight and ask him to talk you out of it.
    • Keep a tally. Tick off every night out where you avoid the bottle. Start the tally again if you fail. It’s a psychological trick that works well for some.
    • Reward yourself. Perhaps you’ll choose to buy yourself something with the money you save from not drinking for a month.    
    • Look for triggers and avoid them. Identify what makes you reach for the bottle. This simple act can be enough to stop you doing so next time, but it’s also recommended to look for ways to avoid these triggers altogether. 
    • It gets far easier after 28 days. Studies suggest this is how long it takes to break a bad habit.

Overcoming approach anxiety while sober in the nightclub

There are hundreds of guides on overcoming approach anxiety available online, but the major key to doing so while sober in a packed nightclub is building social momentum.

Get to the club reasonably early – or at least before it’s packed to the rafters – and immediately start being social with people you don’t know. This can begin with passers-by on the street as you approach the club and the staff you encounter on the way in. 

You don’t necessarily need to run any ‘game’ yet. Simply create the habit of opening conversations with all the people you see. The more you do this, the more you’ll be shown that talking to strangers really isn’t that bad. If they respond well, that’s great. If they respond poorly, you’ll see it’s not the end of the world. 

Your anxiety should dissipate as you build momentum by doing this without taking too much of a break. As it does, you should aim to push things a little further each time. Stretch the conversation a little longer, open bigger groups, become more gregarious, flirt more. 

Before you know it, your fearlessness and charisma will rise to match your ‘drunk’ levels. You’ll be wasted without actually being wasted. This makes it far easier to approach hotties when the club is in full swing. 

How to overcome objections to your sober night out  

Occasionally, someone may ask why you’re not drinking. Just like any shit test, it’s only a big deal if you make it one. 

“I’m just not into drinking right now” will usually work, as long as you show no signs of insecurity. 

If people dig deeper, you can tell them any reason you want. 

“I’m trying to be healthier” is hard to argue with, as long as you show no signs of insecurity. 

As long as you don’t shame other people for drinking, you’ll be fine.    

There will be occasions where a woman will persistently insist you enjoy a drink with her. This is usually because she wants to go home with you, but would feel awkward if you were completely sober. 

Honestly, in this scenario, the best solution is to just do it and pull her home shortly afterwards. Alternatively, tell her you have better drinks at your house and use this as an excuse to pull.

If you’re deadly serious about remaining sober, you’ll need to win the argument and hope it’s not too much of a deal-breaker for her.  

What if I hate nightclubs?

This might sound like a silly question, but there are plenty of men in the ‘seduction community’ who only go to nightclubs because that’s where to find a high volume of gorgeous women. 

If you’re one of them, and feel like you can’t bear nightclubs without any alcohol inside you, there are a few options. 

An obvious solution is to try alternative methods of meeting women, such as online dating, through your social circle or during the day.

However, it’s common that building social momentum helps most sober guys put up with the things they don’t like about nightclubs. This is because it stops them from overthinking. They’re concentrating only on the process of meeting women. They’re not as worried about the loud music, big crowds or perhaps most importantly drinking alcohol.

Try this during your next few nights out. You might be surprised how much you enjoy it! 

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Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.

Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.

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About Joe Elvin Joe Elvin travels the world working remotely as a lifestyle writer and confidence coach. Throughout 2017, he filmed his entire dating life as part of a national television documentary in the UK. His new book 'The Camera Never Lies' details the brutal truths about dating and relationships learned from this experience. You can learn more about the book and download the first chapter for free by clicking here >>

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