What To Do After She Rejects You
You’ve spent some time getting to know her, you ask her out, and she says no. There are some classic mistakes that guys make in the aftermath- but they can be easily avoided.
It is awkward when you’ve put your intentions out there only to be met with rejection. You might feel embarrassed and frustrated, especially if you thought you had a good chance. It’s totally normal to want the ground to swallow you up, but at the instant it happens you have to act like it’s no big deal. Anything you say will be clunky, it’s easiest to just say “okay, no problems” or something of that nature, and then change the topic immediately. Don’t ask or wait for her to explain why she won’t date you. End the conversation soon after, because you both feel awkward.
You have it all worked out in your mind. You think you’re perfect for her and can’t understand why she would reject you. There are two difficulties with this logic. Firstly, you don’t know what she’s looking for in a partner- you could be everything she doesn’t want. Secondly, and more importantly, it’s not about logic.
There’s no formula for being interested in someone. If she’s not into you, no amount of flawless logical reasoning will get around that. So, don’t try to reason with her when she rejects you. It will not help you at all; even if she agrees that it makes perfect sense to give you a chance, that doesn’t mean she wants to. You’re wasting your time, and destroying any chance you may have in future, by trying to convince her.
How are you meant to know if her rejection of you means that she would not consider you if you were the last man on earth, or if it means she’s just not interested in dating at the moment? Sometimes it can be quite obvious that she will never be interested in you. If she laughed at you when you asked her out, that’s a strong sign that she would not ever date you. However, if she is tactful enough to let you down gently, it does not necessarily mean that she is secretly interested in you. It means that she is polite and nothing more. To work out if she means “not now” rather than “not ever”, you’re going to have to rely on some other cues from her.
Let’s say she has rejected you, but it’s not because she doesn’t like you. Perhaps she has just come out of a relationship, or she is too busy at the moment to add a guy to her schedule. If she is even slightly keen on you, she will continue to talk to you to keep you as an option for later. Now that you’ve made your intentions clear, the ball is in her court. Being pushy will just push her away. However, completely ignoring her will not do you any favors either. Try being flirty with her and see how she responds. Don’t jump the gun and ask her out once she shows the slightest hint of an interest in you; you will set yourself back by doing so. The idea is to keep her at an arm’s length until she decides she wants you. Don’t hang all your hopes on her and invest too much time; if she’s rejected you once, there’s a good chance that she’s only being friendly.
About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/