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Should You Keep Your Dating Life Private?

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How social media can help you attract women

Sharing clips of your dates on social media might feel uncomfortable. After all, it’s called ‘private life’ for a reason, right?

Maybe you find filming yourself awkward. Perhaps social media seems like a huge egotistical time-suck. Or you’re worried what your date would think of you taking snaps of your time together.

These are all legitimate concerns, but this fact still remains…

Documenting your dating life makes it easier to attract women in the long run.

Below, we explore how to do this effectively and what you can expect to happen when you do.

Why does this work?  

Social proof is one of the most powerful signals that you’re a high-value man.

After all, it’s one of the hardest signals to fake, and one of the easiest for a woman to perceive.

When you demonstrate social proof, she thinks: “if all these beautiful women like him, he must be a good guy.”

This might sound like an overly simplistic mindset that intelligent women wouldn’t fall into, but we all do it.

It’s the same mindset that leads us to all drink Coca-Cola, eat at chain restaurants and buy a new iPhone every year. Other brands might claim to be better, but we don’t want to take these risks.

For women, the risk of dating a bad dude runs way deeper than drinking a shitty cola. She’s running the risk of reputational damage – or even worse – being raped and murdered! Back in the day, this is why some high-quality women would only date men in their social circle or those who have been recommended by friends.

Now, social media provides a platform to demonstrate social proof without being in a woman’s immediate circle, and you’d be a fool to not take advantage of this. Our guide on how to use Instagram to get girls explains more.

How to document your dating life

Here are the two key rules for effectively sharing photos and videos of your time spent with beautiful women.  

#1 Don’t “show off” women

If the vibe of your post is “Hey, look at this hot chick”, it won’t be attractive to other women. Instead, it’ll appear as if beautiful women are a big deal to you.

The vibe should be that you’re living your life and beautiful women just happen to be there. It should appear normal for them to be around you.

When you pull your phone out, focus on your surroundings, make a dumb joke, talk about your whatever’s on your mind. Do the same in your caption. The women shouldn’t be the main focus of the clip, unless they’re doing or saying something genuinely entertaining.

You don’t need to share romantic or overly sexual posts. In fact, the posts will be more compelling to other women if they’re left wondering whether you’re hooking up or not.

#2 Women should look happy to be in your posts

If a woman doesn’t look excited to be in the story with you, this can actually hurt your reputation. To avoid this, pull the phone out when you’ve already got her laughing or in a good mood.

Act assertively, the same way you would when swapping phone numbers or leading her out the club. Just pull the phone out, point and shoot.

If they’re in a fun mood and genuinely like you, women will often show off for the camera.

Don’t just do this during dates. In fact, it can be a great use of your time to film a ton of Instagram stories with women during the early part of a night out. Just remember the two main rules at all times…  

What will happen

When you post fun content like this on Instagram, women will become hooked on your social media. Instagram shows who is viewing your story, so you can see which women are most interested in you. These are the women most likely to respond to any DMs you send.

However, you should experience a lot of women messaging you first. After all, when you post regularly, it gives them an opportunity to comment on the content, or even just react with an emoji. This is a clear indicator that they want to talk to you. How often does this happen when you only communicate with text messages?   

Common objections

Women don’t want to date ‘fuckboys’

Women might tell you that this won’t work because they’d never date a ‘fuckboy’. This is a classic example of the disparity in what they say to protect their reputation and what they actually do.

Provided you follow the “two key rules”, it’ll be rare that anyone is turned off by your posts.

Try it for a month and see for yourself…

I’m uncomfortable taking photos of my dates

This is perfectly normal. There was probably a point where you felt uncomfortable approaching women and asking them on dates at all. Yet, the more you practice, the easier it gets. It’s the same with taking and sharing photos.

Social media is a time-suck

It is when used the wrong way. Avoid the temptation to scroll mindlessly or interact with anyone you’re not trying to hook up with. If you just use social media as a tool to get more dates, it’ll save you time, rather than cost it.

I want to live life in the present moment

An Instagram story is 15 seconds or less. Shoot at least one good story, then go back to living your life.

What if you’re in a relationship?

This guide is about using social media to attract more interest from women.

Once a man is in a monogamous relationship, it’s common that he doesn’t want that sort of attention any more.

While many women are respectful of a man’s relationship, there are some shameless thots who will still slide in your DMs either way.

If you want to steer clear of temptation, you may decide this is the best time to keep your ‘private life’ private.

In 2018, I went one step further and documented my entire dating life for one year on national TV. My new book ‘The Camera Never Lies’ explores the 17 brutal truths about dating, relationships and life that I learned from this experience. Click here to learn more about the book and download the first chapter for free >>

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Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.

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About Joe Elvin Joe Elvin travels the world working remotely as a lifestyle writer and confidence coach. Throughout 2017, he filmed his entire dating life as part of a national television documentary in the UK. His new book 'The Camera Never Lies' details the brutal truths about dating and relationships learned from this experience. You can learn more about the book and download the first chapter for free by clicking here >>

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