How To Flirt With Shy Girls
Shy women can provide a stumbling block for even the most experienced of seducers.
Even if you’re bold enough to make all the smoothest moves, these moves still often get rebuffed.
It’s not (always) because she doesn’t like you. Sometimes it’s just the shyness stopping her reciprocate your affection. There’s no real way to tell.
In a way, that’s more frustrating than being hated! At least in these situations, it’s clear where you stand.
With shy women, you end up providing hours of entertainment with little feedback. No signs she hates you. No signs she likes you. And usually no action…
Maybe you arrange another date – and another – only for the same pattern to emerge. Eventually, it fizzles out and you’re left ruing the time wasted on this shy individual.
It’s annoying! But it’s also your fault…
Once you’re aware how to flirt with shy women successfully, you can bypass the barriers she puts up.
There are some cultures where most of the women will cause you these problems.
Ukrainian women (regarded by many as the world’s most beautiful) are well known for being reserved around new men.
In many parts of Asia, particularly Vietnam and Thailand, it’s the same.
However, once they open up, everything changes. These women are among the sweetest, most feminine creatures you’ll ever meet.
They’re often wild in the bedroom too. A shy woman’s sexual energy has typically been repressed by social conditioning, but you better believe it’s there. Once she finds a man she trusts, the floodgates open. If you can be the one to release her sexuality, you’ll be rewarded handsomely.
You’ll often have your mind blown by shy women both intellectually and sexually, regardless of their racial background.
As such, it’s well worth learning how to earn their trust.
The fundamentals of approaching women will always apply, regardless of their personality type. After all, you’ll have no idea who she is until you start talking to her.
If it turns out she’s shy, use these tips to help her open up.
Make peace with the fact that some women won’t provide much content at the start of your interaction. Some may stay tight-lipped for the entirety of your first meeting.
In fact, it’ll be helpful. If you can have a great time regardless of your external environment, that’s attractive. It’ll relieve a lot of pressure from her too. That’s key for helping shy people open up.
Don’t worry about hunting for indicators of interest. If she’s still sat listening to you, it’s because she wants to be.
She may push away your attempts to be physical, but this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.
The key to flirting with a shy woman is to start on a level she’s comfortable with. This could be as subtle as playing with her fingers or playful pats on the arm. From there, do your best to escalate at a speed she can handle.
Don’t be disheartened if you move too fast and she bats you away. This won’t ruin the date. Just stop, smile, then keep talking as if nothing happened. You can then try to escalate in a different way later.
It’s important she sees your confidence remain intact following these rejections. Women will often resist your advances to test how you react. Do you retain your self-belief or turn into a butthurt little bitch? The answer will tell her a lot about you.
Often, she might not accept any of your advances in public, but you have to attempt some sort of escalation.
Without this, there’s no sexual tension – and probably no second date.
If she tells you she’s shy, say you’re shy too. Usually, she’ll playfully argue that you’re not shy at all. This is good. She’s now admitted she finds you charismatic.
Shy women are typically more resistant to being pulled to your house. Baby-stepping the pull is therefore more important than ever. Concentrate on making it seem like “not a big deal”, rather than “an awesome time”.
When you’re clearly more extroverted than a woman, you can expect the ‘player’ shit test at some point.
“I bet you say that to all the girls”
“How many girls have you taken here?”
“I’m not like all those other girls you’ve been dating.”
Have comebacks pre-prepared. I like to playfully agree and sarcastically exaggerate.
“Yeah, you’re number 10,000”
Our guide on passing shit tests will help you formulate your own responses.
You may experience a lot of ‘token resistance’ when you’re fooling around for the first time.
Often, she’ll tell you to stop in a playful way, while giggling with a huge smile on her face. The key here is to STOP.
No matter how ‘token’ the resistance may seem, you need to make it clear that she’s free to leave at any time.
In most cases, she won’t want to leave. If she’s got this far with you, it’s likely she wants to go further.
In order to go the distance, shy women need to feel safe. For her, this is as important as feeling aroused. If you’re respectful of her ‘token’ gestures, you’ll often be free to fool around at a slower pace until she’s comfortable enough to go all the way.
There’s an element of shyness in all women, so it’s always worth bearing these tips in mind. After all, it can be intimidating being approached by a strange man at the best of times.
It’s commonly cited that attraction involves demonstrating value and building comfort. With shyer women, you may need to put in a few extra miles with the comfort-building.
The best thing you can do for both parties is show patience. Don’t mistake shyness for disinterest and don’t assume shy girls have no sexuality.
Most women have a beautiful feminine personality and fiery sexuality inside of them. It’s your job to make them comfortable enough to unleash it.
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About Joe Elvin Joe Elvin travels the world working remotely as a lifestyle writer and confidence coach. Throughout 2017, he filmed his entire dating life as part of a national television documentary in the UK. His new book 'The Camera Never Lies' details the brutal truths about dating and relationships learned from this experience. You can learn more about the book and download the first chapter for free by clicking here >>