The Follow-up, Second Date & Another Damn Breakup

I met this girl in a dance class that I’m taking. She’s big on texting, which is fine. She has a funky schedule because of what she does for a job. Of course, I’d rather call, but I don’t really have anything to say. I’m wondering if I could get away with texting and asking her out. I know, it’s not really the best move but not sure what other options I have. Thanks!

I hope everyone reads this! DO NOT ASK A WOMAN OUT BY TEXT! I don’t care what kind of world we live in, the classic elements of courtship, still exist and should be followed today. When you ask out a woman, you call her or ask her in-person. None of this hiding behind a phone or computer bullshit. I don’t care what her hours are, you make that call happen and you ask her out.

If you call and get a voicemail, leave a message and tell her to call you back. You probably shouldn’t mention anything about asking her out or anything like that. Once she calls back, then you can ask her out. If she texts you back, that may tell you that she is low-committal and not that interested.

If a woman is busy and she’s interested, she’ll make time for you.

So call her and make it happen.

So I was on and off with my ex-girlfriend for over 4 years. She didn’t tell me that she was moving because she didn’t think we’d be able to do the long-distance thing. The problem was that she didn’t try to talk to me about it. So for the last few months, we would rarely talk and see each other. The only time I would hear from her, it would be a text and it was always to start a fight.

Then, she had her friend call me and tell me that the relationship was over and that’s when I found out she was moving away. It seemed like, she wanted me to break up with her so that her friends would console and support her and I’d look like the asshole.

Anyway, it’s been a few months and I still think about her and wish that we were still together. I’ve gone out on dates but all I can see in them is her. What the hell am I supposed to do to get over this hump?

First of all, she tried to set you up to make you look like an ass and then when that failed, she made her friend call and break up with you on HER behalf? And now you can’t move on because you can’t stop thinking about her? Wow. I am going to be harsh here. Man the fuck up.

She fucked your life over, yes. But you have to take some heat for that too for not taking action and realizing that your relationship was going to shit. You need to develop some self-respect and not allow people to do that to you. You may say she loved you and that she wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt you. But you know what? It happened anyway. And neither of you can do anything about it. You need to move on,

I know it’s hard, man. You two have been together for a long time and I’m sure she’s been there for many important moments in your life. But clearly she valued your relationship a lot less than you did. Do whatever it takes to allow yourself to move on but you have to do it. You have the rest of your life to live. Don’t let it suffer over some girl that didn’t mount up to what you really wanted in someone.

The advice and my words my sound harsh but you have to realize this one way or another. I don’t want to see you wasting more time in your life over this. Take your time and start making some steps forward.