Ultimate Guide to Find a Girlfriend
Let’s get one thing out of the way right now. Almost all dating and relationship advice aimed at men in mainstream magazines, books, and media is completely wrong. The advice isn’t just wrong, it is destructive to your chances of finding a cool, hot girlfriend.
This guide was designed to reveal the truth about what girls are attracted to, and exactly what kind of behavior will help you score a girlfriend you would be proud to bring around your friends.
This guide is for you if you are currently struggling to meet, connect with, attract and have sex with the type of girl you really want. There are a variety of reasons you might be struggling to find a potential girlfriend.
If any or all of those describe your current situation than you are going to enjoy this article and find it very helpful as we have created what we think is the Ultimate Guide to Getting a Girlfriend.
One thing to keep in mind is that it is not your fault if you’re currently struggling as almost all of the mainstream advice you’ve been given about what women want is completely wrong. In the next section we’re going to tackle some of the most common myths about what women want, and I’ll explain why the complete opposite is true.
You’ve caught the lonely bug. You’ve spent far too many hours home alone, by yourself, watching HBO’s latest crop of groundbreaking shows, and instead want to watch them with somebody.
Instead of crying into your bowls of ice cream and Trader Joe’s chocolate truffles, you want to alleviate your pain by allotting your affection to somebody who you feel is deserving. You’re tired of riding a tandem bicycle on your own, can’t stand another solitary rooftop walk, and realize that it’s time for a change and time for that change to happen now.
So what are you going to do about it?
You’re going to find a girlfriend.
Some people just respond better to life when they’re in relationships – they’re less depressed, they actually bathe, and do things for themselves.
Other people want to be the eternal bachelor, as immortalized by innumerable plank-like television characters, but let’s just say you’re going to want to get a girl and make her your main squeeze for a period of time. What to do, what to do? We’ll help you. Like so many services that claim they can do the same, we’re going to help you find a girlfriend. We’ll also share some of the best places to find a girlfriend.
As I’ve said a couple times already in this guide you are going to have to forget everything you’ve learned about what women if you want to be successful finding a girlfriend.
So what advice is so wrong?
Myth #1: Women want a romantic guy
Here is the thing, women do want romance, but only AFTER they are already attracted to you. Too many guys think that acting romantic creates attraction, but it doesn’t. In fact, displaying too much interest too soon comes off as creepy and needy and quickly scare away the girls worth going for.
Here is a video where we discuss three of the common “Romance Traps” that men fall into early in a relationship with a girl that will quickly get them the friend zone speech.
As you watch the video below, make a note of which of the mistakes you’re guilty of. And make a mental note of how the girl really reacted to your gesture.
Myth #2: Women want a nice guy
The saying “nice guys finish last” is never more true than in the world of dating and relationships. There is a reason for this. When a guy acts too nice he comes across as trying too hard. Women want “REAL” they don’t want a guy who is putting on a nice guy act to try to get into her pants.
Here are some additional reading on the type of attitude women are attracted to:
Myth #3: Women want a guy they think will make a great boyfriend
Awhile back I wrote an article called 8 Good Boyfriend Traits Killing Your Game. In this article I explain why trying to show a girl too soon that you’ll make a good boyfriend will actually hurt your chances of ever seriously dating her. Here are a quick list of the good boyfriend traits we discuss in the article:
1. Trying too hard to find commonalities and rapport.
2. Focus on showing her that I have a good job, like to travel, and other “boyfriend” traits.
3. Taking her side when she bad mouthed players, and act like I’m totally the opposite of those “jerks.”
4. Respecting her too much to make a move.
5. Being too generous towards her.
6. Listening to all her problems and trying to solve them for her.
7. Make a lot of compromises so that we get along better.
8. Paying too much attention to her.
Here is another video that explains why “giving your hand away too soon” can have a negative effect on getting a girl to become extremely attracted to you. This video is called “Reverse Engineering Love.”
Myth #4: Women want a guy who “waits” to make his move
NOTHING will kill your chances with a girl like waiting. Whether you’re waiting to approach her, waiting to ask her out on a date, waiting to kiss her, or waiting to sleep with her there is one thing you must keep in mind.
Women expect things to happen quick when there is chemistry
This means that girls expect to get physical fast with a guy. They expect for it too “just happen.”
Unfortunately as men we’ve been told to “be respectful” and “wait” before making our move. The truth is, the longer you wait the more likely you are to get the friend zone speech when you finally try to make your move.
Want to avoid the friend zone? Here is a list of a few articles on avoiding or getting out of the friend zone.
1. Realize what you’re looking for.
You’ve probably watched wide-eyed television shows featuring Victoria’s Secret models, traipsing up and down the runway, looking waifish and attractive, saying to yourself, ‘Oh, I’d love to get her to cook me a meal.’
The problem is, not all people are girlfriend material. Everybody wants something different. Like the type of man a gold-digger goes for is not the same type of person a social worker would go for – so to start out, you’re going to have a long conversation with yourself where you get standards. That’s right, you’re going to get yourself some standards.
Take a piece of paper, or a nice word-processing program and write down what you look for in a woman. They have to be qualities specific to you. If you’re into comic books – you’re going to be after the nerdy girl. If you’re into art, find someone who can draw and is into going to galleries. If you’re into wellness and personal training, you’re not going to feel comfortable dating a crackhead. Find what you want, and be diligent in screening for it.
2. Realize where to a girlfriend you’re looking for.
People like going to events and places that they enjoy. For example, you’re not going to find a finance type at a hippy commune, unless he’s going against the rigid structures that he knows and appreciates. Conversely, you’re not going to find a hippy at a yacht party – where are we going with this?
Find the places where you can flag the type of person you’re interested in, and go to those places. You’re never going to get the type of girl that you want if you’re avoiding the places that they go. There’s a reason why a certain type of girl goes to a club, and another one avoids them entirely. Find which type that you want to get in with. It’s better not to waste your effort with a type of person that you’re going to wind up hating a few months down the line, so don’t do that. Don’t get into a relationship with someone that is just going to annoy you in that fashion.
3. Approach the girls that you like.
There’s something mystifying happening in the world on a day to day basis, in relation to guys and the girls that they like – they’re too terrified to be talking to them. They continually elude them. But the only way you’re going to find a girlfriend is by when you grow a sack and approach women.
So instead, they guys wind up talking to girls that they’d much rather be just friends with – and that goes tremendously well so instead of being ‘just friends’, they start a romantic entanglement where the guy eventually winds up wondering, ‘Oh, right. I’m really not that attracted to this girl, why is it that we’re fighting with each other? How did we get to this point? What’s my name?’ It’s insane to me what lengths guys will go to in order to avoid talking to the girls that they’d probably wind up having a great time with. Don’t be an avoider. Be an action-taker.
More tips on approaching:
How to tell if a girl wants you to approach her
4. Always go for numbers and continuations with the girls that you like.
Always be moving the interaction forward. Always be the guy pressing it to go an extra step, no matter what the case may be. Additionally, even before the first meet-up, provided that the interaction is going well, you’re going to want to seed things to do next and follow through on them. The only difference between a girl that you’ve just met and a girlfriend is that with the girlfriend, you’ll be spending so much more time with them.
Get out there. Find the type of girl that’s right for you, and talk to her – it’s the only way you’ll be able to find a girlfriend.
5. Ask her out
If you’re going to move the relationship forward you’re going to need to ask her out on a date. The problem is, most guys ask a girl out completely wrong. In the video below you’ll learn a much better way to set up a date with a girl without risking rejection.
You should also know what to say to the girl. As “talking” is the #1 skill you’ll need to be able to create attraction with her. Point blank, if you can’t talk to her in a way that turns her on, you won’t be able to make her your girlfriend.
One of the things you need to understand when it comes to girls is that what you think attracts them usually doesn’t. In fact, much of attraction is “counter-inuitive.”
So right now I want to lay out a few general concepts you need to understand about girls.
This is important to grasp. Very important. Because the minute a girl figures out that she “has you” its over. And you’ll never have her. This means she can never quite know how much you like her. In fact, its best to send mixed signals. And play hot and cold.
Women are creatures of emotions. And in the world of dating, emotion trumps logic. This means that a woman must FEEL attraction for you on a gut level. You can’t convince her logically to become attracted to you. A lot of guys stuck in the friend zone struggle with this. Because “logically” you and the girl are perfect for each other. But emotionally she doesn’t feel any attraction for you.
As a man, you must know how to talk to girls in a way that creates an emotional response. This is why flirting is so important. It is an emotional language.
More Tips on How to Find a Girlfriend