» How to Arouse A Woman, Part Two

by Dr. Evan Marlowe on February 1, 2011

Okay, in part one I gave you a point of reference in knowing where a girl is. So how do you get her horny? Well, you can turn her on with your touch, and you can turn her on without touching her. I call these tactile and non-tactile forms of stimulation.

Tactile Stimulation

Make sure it's the right kiss

Here we have two variations: non-vaginal and vaginal. Ways to turn on a girl without touching the puss include kissing, massage, proximity (such as dancing close to her) and “being caveman.”

Let’s begin with kissing. There is one rule you need to remember on this topic … girls kiss you the way they want to be kissed. If she wants it rough, she’ll kiss you roughly. If she doesn’t want the tongue, she won’t give it to you. Calibrate your kisses accordingly.

A few types of kisses:

1. The suck. You can apply this to her lip, her tongue, or anywhere on her body (especially effective on the neck, ultimately concluding in a hickey). If you do suck on her earlobe, I recommend holding your breath. The sound of your breathing directly in her ear can be a huge distracting turn-off.
2. The bite. Never bite the tongue, but otherwise go for it. Gently on the lip, or with more pressure elsewhere. This introduces another level of arousal, one which many girls are not okay with, so test it out judiciously before getting carried away.
3. The lick. Some areas aren’t receptive to licking (the forehead comes to mind. Ewww.) But the mouth, the neck and parts below are generally all fair game.
4. Frenching. Typically, this is reserved for when she’s more than just a little turned on. French kissing is often a gateway to get you farther along the path, such as petting and titty play.
5. Soft kisses. Place them on the lips, the neck or the breasts. Often the lightest of kisses can have the most impact if landed just right.

Massage is a skill you should acquire. Doesn’t have to be spa-quality, but you should browse through a few books and get some pointers. Mainly, you’ll focus on the shoulders, back, thighs and butt. If you wanna be a good sport, rub her feet. You don’t need to rub deep; you’re not trying to cure her back spasms. Be gentle at first, with long caresses along her shoulder blades and back, careful not to rub directly over the center where the bones pop up. You can use oil, or not. The point isn’t to give her the best massage of her life, only to get her turned on. Ten minutes ought to do it, tops. And be careful not to tickle her once she’s in the zone; tickling helps get her in a good mood, but it can easily break her arousal.

Besides being technically good at massaging, the biggest tip I can give you is to enjoy it. When you love giving massages, she’ll know it, and the result will be apparent.

Most girls like being dominated. It turns them on, and it should turn you on being dominant. If you have issues with this, then you will need to address them. I recommend the fine book, Just Fuck Me! by Eve Kingsley, for starters.

Being dominant physically (also known as “caveman”), means treating her like a piece of meat. Slapping and squeezing her ass, grabbing her arm and pulling her into you, holding her hair at the base of her head. Your goal isn’t to do harm, of course. But you do need to convey to her that she is your “property” and you will man-handle her as you desire. Sounds chauvinist, I know, but this does arouse women.

Those are non-vaginal ways to get her turned on with your touch. Now let’s get to the most obvious arousal technique:

Vaginal Stimulation

The vagina is absolutely loaded with zones you can hit to cause arousal and ultimately make her orgasm. So that you don’t become overwhelmed, for our purposes, I’ll discuss only two: the clitoris and the G spot.

Guys have trouble finding both of these, and many women aren’t even aware of their own G spot. Each arousal point gives women different types of orgasms, with the G spot tending to be a deeper sensation.

When you’re looking at a vagina with her on her back and her knees straddling your head, the clit is at the top. Just beneath this is the urethra (where pee pee comes out), and then the entrance to the vag. Each girl is unique as to what kind of pressure and motion her clit desires; you will learn her preference through observation and experimentation. Also important to note, the clit usually has a refractory period after orgasm, during which time it is too sensitive for further stimulation. Give it a rest, work on the G spot or other bits, and then resume clitoral stimulation when she’s ready.

As you enter the vagina, the G spot is located on the roof, not far from the entrance. Typically, women like either a “come hither” motion of your fingers, or an up-and-down movement. With enough G spot stimulation it is possible to make her squirt; many girls cannot or will not squirt, so don’t be surprised if she is reluctant to even try.

Ways to stimulate these two points include orally, with your fingers, with your cock and with toys. Take a trip to a sex store some time if you are not familiar with sex toys. Learn about various types of vibrators (battery and wall-powered), dildos (vaginal and anal), and other accessories like beads.

To learn more about cunnilingus and sexual technique, download my free ebook, PUA Field Guide and head to the chapter devoted to female orgasm and anatomy. The site is puafieldguide.com.

Non-Tactile Stimulation

Playing with a girl’s pussy and making out with her are skills that take a little finesse, but can be easily learned. A more difficult challenge awaits you: turning on a girl without using your mouth, hands or dick. I call this non-tactile stimulation, and categorize it further by senses.

Auditory

What a girl hears can get her wet. Within auditory stimulation, you have conscious and subconscious forms.

The conscious type of auditory stimulation includes the words you use, and within this category you can speak nonsexually (wit, sense of humor, routines) or sexually. Intelligent women get turned on by a man with wit, though many dudes use their wit and humor as a shield to hide behind. Don’t be that guy.

I have previously covered sexualization in my article, “How to Get a Girlfriend.” To review, sexual talk can be implicit or explicit. Both can get the job done, though explicit tends to work better once a girl is already getting wet.

Subconscious auditory stimulation includes vocal tonality (the deeper the better), and more obscure NLP-ish tactics like embedded commands.

Touch

Here I don’t mean you touching her, since that would fall under the above category of tactile stimulation. What I’m referring to instead is her touching you.

Nothing better

Hair in certain places, and the absence of hair in others, can turn her on. The touch of skin-on-skin is arousing, even if you aren’t doing anything actively to her. Well-defined muscles (chest, shoulders, butt) turn girls on, though each girl prefers more or less muscle mass and definition. And finally, girls like playing with cocks. That alone can make them ready to bang, hence the motto, “when in doubt, whip it out.”

Smell

Again, we find conscious and subconscious forms of smell. Your cologne, the smell of your hair, having clean-smelling skin and fresh breath can turn chicks on. Some amount of sweat (not nasty body odor, just a whiff), can be arousing. Choosing a cologne may require you to survey your female friends or sexual partners; mine gets turned on by L’Eau D’Issey, so that’s what I wear…the customer is always right.

Subconsciously, there is evidence that pheromones can affect a girl’s sex drive. This is a science still in its infancy, though.

Visual

While there may be subconscious cues you can use to turn on chicks (self-pointing, for example), overwhelmingly the tools that will get her visually aroused are conscious. Having a great physique (but not Mr. Universe ripped – that turns many women off) excites women. Making seductive, dominant and confident eye contact is powerfully effective. In contrast, sometimes blind-folding her can turn her on, sparking a sense of danger. The words you text can get her hot as well; download my free ebook, Text Game Primer, for examples.

Men are visually stimulated by things that are sexually explicit. Porn, for example. Some girls get turned on by porn as well, though many times what you don’t reveal is as much of a turn-on. For example, women tend to prefer pictures of naked men with their willies hidden, versus exposed. As with blind-folding, withholding visual information from a girl can create intrigue and ultimately arousal.

Taste

This is probably the least used of the senses, since there are very few tastes which make women horny. Folk lore says things like oysters are aphrodisiacs, but practically speaking there is little truth to this. You can have her lick pudding off you or feed her strawberries, but again it isn’t so much the actual taste of the food which is turning her on, but how you use the food.

Some women find the taste of salty skin (such as after exercise or sex) stimulating, and some like a man’s mouth that tastes like cigarettes or alcohol. As with the other categories, each girl responds differently to various stimuli; experimentation and observation will help you sort things out.

The goal of this article has been to help you categorize female sexual arousal levels and techniques, so that you may search for and define trends in your interactions. Whether you approach this like a mad scientist or an artist, always have fun with it.

To learn more tips and tactics for improving your game, check out Man School.

About the Author

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Evan Marlow is the dean and founder of Man School.  You can visit at Manschool.cc

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4 Responses to How to Arouse A Woman, Part Two

  • Tonny says:

    Wow!i loved all this stuff.I love it.

  • MT says:

    Great info. I think that it’s good to show that what some consider “light kink,” others consider arousing (ie: lightly pulling hair, light spanking the bottom, grabbing your partner (passionately, not abusively). I love the remarks about the “caveman” approach; I don’t know a woman that wouldn’t want to know that her male partner wanted her and demonstrated it. Thanks again for the article. (Hello from Kansas City)

  • Godfrey Matovu says:

    Thanks for that piece of information

  • Thabiso says:

    Hi.i’ve got 5.1 inch penis when its erected.which style can i use to have sex, because my girl friend is far more bigger(fat) than me .i’m afraid that i’m not going to fit her virgina due to size.i think she has big virgina because she big

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