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The Skinny on Jeans
Showing off some leg isn’t just for women anymore. In fact, skinny jeans for men have been around for decades, first appearing on manly celebrities like James Dean and Elvis in the 1950s. The recent resurgence of skinny jeans has propelled them to new heights of popularity, with men choosing to wear them more than ever before.
Skinny jeans on men is quite a polarizing topic, with both men and women often having strong opinions on whether they are acceptable. Some think that skinny jeans are emasculating and wonder where the wearers store their genitals. Others think they look hot and that if you’ve got it, you should flaunt it in some skin-tight denim. My opinion falls into the second category – women like having something to look at! There are, however, a few things you should be aware of before you pull on your Levi’s.
Do you have to be skinny?
As the name suggests, you need to have a decent figure to pull off skinny jeans. Women enjoy the look of skinny jeans on men in the exact same way you appreciate a woman in tight clothing- the form-fitting fabric helps in picturing the wearer naked. They look best on slim men, but if you’re too thin then wearing skin-tight pants will not help your appearance. If you’re really intent on wearing them but find you look too twiggy, try getting ones with thick denim, which adds some bulk.
You don’t need to be skinny however; most average-weight men look great in skinny jeans. The thing to watch for is a muffin top. For those of you lucky enough to not know what a muffin top is, it’s when your hip fat is pushed up due to wearing too-tight bottoms, thus making your middle look like the bulgy part of a muffin. Carrying excess weight is no guarantee you’ll get a muffin top though- it only happens when your waistband is too tight. It’s better to get jeans just a tad too big and wear them with a belt, rather than get ones that are anchored by your belly. If your jeans fit well, you will be muffin-top free.
Choose your color wisely
The most masculine color for jeans is ink. A conservative choice, dark blue jeans will not attract any more attention to your legs, which are already in the spotlight enough due to your choice to wear skinny jeans. Attempt other colors with caution, and leave black skinnies to the emo kids.
Protect the family jewels
If you see kids in your future, then wear skinny jeans with caution. Tight clothing is bad for your balls, which prefer loose clothing to do their thing, so don’t wear skinny jeans every day of your life. That said, wearing tight pants every now and then won’t render you infertile. If your jeans are causing discomfort to your nether regions, go for the next size up, or try a different cut.
Know when to wear them
The biggest no-no with skinny jeans is to wear them in place of formal pants. If you’re at a fancy restaurant, a wedding reception, or an upmarket nightclub with a dress code forbidding jeans; don’t even consider donning skinnies. Most importantly, never wear them to work. Even if your work dress code is very casual, just don’t. Instead, boost your productivity with a more comfortable choice of pants!