Must-Read: Rules of Dorm Sex

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Rick has never written a serious thing in his life, some of which can be found at ESPN the Magazine, McSweeney's, Radar Magazine, Deadspin, Flak Magazine and The Morning News. The rest can be found here. He lives in Los Angeles, is a White Sox fan, and maintains a personal blog.

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Do it right!

Oh, dorm sex. For the time, there’s really nothing better. You’re away from your home for the first time, you don’t have to worry about mom and dad knocking on your door in order to check out if you need any help “studying,” but instead you can just relax and actually have a lot of sex over short periods of time for the first time in most of your lives. Well, except, not really. There’s roommates, and the enclosed everyone-knows-everything feeling of the dorm community, and just ordinary college things to keep in mind when tackling the tough position of how to go about having sex in your dorm room.

So today, for those lucky ones of us still in school, we’re going to head over to Men’s Health in order to check out some rules they have whenever you enter the world of dorm sex. Here’s one of the most vital things to keep in mind if you’re planning on banging in the dorms:

KEEP IT DOWN
Maybe your dormmates are studying in the common room. Maybe they’re sleeping. Or maybe they’re just not getting any. Either way, they definitely don’t want to hear your moans—or her groans from the other side of the wall.

Luckily, the need to keep quiet can add some eroticism. Buckley explains that sex feels more “taboo” when you’re trying to be discreet. So gently whisper “shh” or ask her to bite her lip if she’s getting loud. If you’re feeling kinky, playfully place a hand over each other’s mouths (as long as you both are into it, of course). It will take the sex, but not the volume, up a notch.

So get some socks, get them ready to hang them up on your doorknob, and then get busy folks!