About the Author
Darren is a trainer on for Pua Training Bootcamps and is available for 1-on-1s. You can also email: darren@puatraining.com
How do you pick up a stripper?
The main key to closing a stripper is breaking the mold. When I say this, I mean look at every other guy in the strip club.
What makes things easier for guys just starting out, is the fact we don’t need to approach the girls as they will approach us. But sometimes, if the stripper we would like to talk is not approaching, we need to force an IOI – when I say this I mean forcing eye contact and giving her a cheeky smile or some other unmistakable gesture.
You have two kinds of guys who go to these places. Super purvey cocky guys, and shy curious guys. The way I like to play it is a balance in the middle. I like to be laid back and confident, comfortable with eye contact and careful not to stare at their bodies.
When you ask for their name they will give you their fake stripper name – try and get past that as soon as possible. So when I ask the name and they give it to me I will say “Come on, I have had the decency to give you my name so at least you could do is give me yours.” This is to push their comfort zone as much as possible.
Try and talk about dreams and ambitions of theirs – asking if stripping was something they always wanted to do is a great way to transition to their other goals in life.
This is to build a kind of comfort that sets you out from every other guy in there. I have written a blog on this subject on our blog that is in a bit more detail with examples.
Some guys I know in the community do have private dances but I personally don’t as I believe it puts me in the category of every other man in the place. When they ask me if I would like a dance I may come back with a cocky answer or I will just ignore the subject. A cocky answer I like to use is:
Her: Would you like a dance?
Me: No, I am good. Thanks. I am a rubbish dancer.
When I deliver this line I would always do it with a cheeky smile. Another thing to keep in mind is that these girls are not allowed to give their numbers out so when we go for the close we have to do it on the sly. Ways of doing this include remembering their number, typing it in the phone without anyone else seeing, getting them to go to the toilet and write it on a piece of paper. Or you can even go for a facebook close if she has an unusual name.
What i like to say to separate myself from other guys is “is it me or like all the guys in here are looking at girls desperately as if they didnt have sex for 2 weeks!” usually they will stay to talk and wont even ask me for dances..
This never answered how to pick up a stripper. All this article did was basically tell you “improve your inner game.” Is that all there is? I think there must be at least a little more….or did I miss something?
Bobby and Mike where do you get these articles from?
the entire first page was how to act in a strip club… and how to interact with the woman
did you read the same article i did ?!? lol
I didn’t read one mention of inner game.
LoL TSB teaches reading comprehension. Yo Bobby, can we start having “quizzes” at the end of articles like we had back in grade school after you read a story in your “Reader”… that would totally awesome!
What are the main things holding your students back from success?
“The main thing holding students back is that they believe they do not deserve to speak to the girl(s) they like. By not approaching the girl it allows them to avoid rejection. Rejection for a man can be massive, the core, it questions your whole existence and your role as a man.
Image pick up is like selling. If you believe in the product or service you have to offer, then the selling process is easy. If you don’t believe in what you have to offer, then selling it will be difficult and you will have to project through a lot of negative emotions.
The skills in pick up are like selling. If you do not believe in yourself and what you have to offer, then regardless of any opener or techniques you use, you will feel like you are imposing on the girl. If you want to be good with girls, you first need to work on yourself. How can you expect other people to like you if even you don’t like yourself?”
Wait thats not about inner game??
Yes, but that was to a different question june… the question Tom commented on was about picking up strippers…
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The more uninterested you act towards a stripper, the more interested she will be in you.
It is actually really common for a guy to reply with “whats your real name…” or ” I’m a bad dancer” or similar. It has been said a million times and doesn’t make you any different from any other guy. In fact its just plain irritating as soon as a patron says that. Strippers CAN give out there numbers. They just don’t want too if they’re using that excuse.
Pretty much if you want to pick up a stripper don’t go to a strip bar. It is their place of work and people out to pick up come across arrogant, naive, cheap or time wasters, the girls are there to work: earn money and provide you with entertainment.
Ps Strippers are just like every other woman; the majority of them wouldn’t want to go out with a guy who frequents strip bars.
Hi,
As a woman who stripped and modeled for major men’s magazines for 11 years prior to getting her degree, retiring, and marrying (one of my customers, no less), I thought I’d throw in my two cents.
Men who come into the bars and refuse dances are a supreme annoyance. The dancer is there to make money. If you don’t want a dance, then pay her for a dance and tell her you’d rather just talk with her for the duration of the “dance time.” That’s classy, and it will get her attention. Any reference to you being different from the other guys in the strip club will be a major turn off. Let HER conclude that you’re different. Do that by acting different, not by telling her what to think.
These women are generally harder to get into bed than any other women on the planet, contrary to popular myth. That’s not true all the way across the board, but assume that it’s true, and you’ll be far ahead of the competition. Further, DO NOT ask for her real name right away (or at any time, period). It’s annoying and presumptuous and will lead, in my experience, to an instant circular file of your “application” as a lover. Instead, say this, “I know you can’t give me your real name, but I sure wish I’d met you somewhere else. There’s something so nice about you…I don’t want to see you as a stripper. I bet you’re very interesting outside of work, aren’t you?”
When you get to know a dancer and show her that you’re worthy of her attention as a man, not as a wallet, the dance she does for you becomes erotic for BOTH of you, not just for one of you. I found that as I was becoming attracted to any of the three customers I ended up dating (including the one I married), I began enjoying the dances I gave them, and it became our private little erotic game that ended in explosive sex later on.
Further, realize that these are intelligent women who happen to strip. You don’t see articles about “How to Pick up an Accountant,” do you? Get real, and understand that if you take the time to get to know a woman (who might happen to be a stripper), then you might get the best ride (or series of rides) of your life. You don’t have to marry us, but you should treat us just like you would any other female in whom you have interest.
Great tips… thanks for your input.
Intersting about “still paying her for a dance….”
Hi,
Thanks for posting my comment. The “still paying her for a dance” shows that you respect why she’s there. Too, and this wasn’t true during my tenure (which ended in 2001), many of the clubs today require the girls to work their asses off because they take a very LARGE portion of the girls’ tips. If a girl makes $600, some times she takes home $250 or less. Crazy? Yes. Unfair? Yes. But true.
Personally, I think that if you tell a stripper that you know this and invite her to bitch a little about it, she will begin to see you as a friend, not as a wallet, and then you might be able to get your foot in the door. Say it quietly, conspiratorially, like you know she can’t talk openly about it. Tell her how unfair you think it is, and ask her if her feet hurt. Offer her a foot rub. Want to know more? I’ll happily offer a free guest article about it, in exchange for an ad for my blog. Good stuff that only strippers know, and nothing you’ve read before!