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Great Moments in Text Message History: The Flake Arsenal

By on May 27, 2011

Death, Taxes, and…FLAKES

I could base my entire career as a men’s dating columnist on writing articles that get girls to stop flaking. Part of “the game” of modern dating is anticipating—and overcoming—a woman’s excuse when trying to get her to meet up for a date. No matter how you meet her—whether it’s at a bar, coffee shop, or even through friends—girls will often flake … even when you had a great initial interaction.

Don't let her flake

Sometimes the blame legitimately lies with you—maybe you weren’t as smooth or charming as you thought you were. Sometimes, however, it really isn’t your fault. Some girls are just … flaky. They flake on their friends, they flake on their family, and so they won’t give so much as a second thought about flaking on some random guy they hardly know.

If you approach the “flake game” as a last-ditch effort—a bottom-of-the-ninth attempt to get her out—then I can offer some texts from the flake arsenal. As good as these texts are, they’ll only work some of the time.

If you’re dealing with a flaky girl today, give it a shot. Or, if you’re planning on meeting women in the future, give this post a bookmark because flaky girls are as certain as death and taxes.

So get those thumbs warmed up and ready to send these texts…

The Old “I’m Sick” Excuse

She says: “Hey, I’m so sorry I’m so sick now. I don’t think I can make tonight, hope you’re not mad at me!”

Flake Buster: “Haha oh no…sounds bad, you know what’s a great cure for sickness…a strong martini with guys named Rob”

The Old “I Have Work” Excuse

She says: “I’m workin until 11 n then until 7 :(“

Flake Buster: “haha hotness…you work too much, let’s have a pillow fight when you get off…so I’ll see you at 11:30?”

The Old “I’m Tired” Excuse

She says: “So sorry! I think I’d rather just rest up and stay sober in prep for the weekend.”

Flake Buster: “haha lovely. You will miraculously find the energy when you have the ultimate drink of ultimate destiny (hint: it’s called a martini)…just come, will be epic ;]”

Bringing It On Home

These are 3 actual text conversations right out of my phone. And these were all actual situations where I eventually got the girl out on a date. The magic, however, wasn’t in my “flake buster” text. Instead, the example “flake buster” text simply represents the “lynchpin” in the interaction.

In other words, it represents the definitive moment where I was able to stop the “flaky excuses.” In a lot of ways, girls’ excuses are like leaks in a ship. The more excuses you let in, the more of chance the interaction will “sink.” But if you can manage to plug the leak by getting her out of her “flaky habit,” you may be able to salvage the interaction.

Getting a girl to stop her excuses doesn’t mean you have to be a hardassor a crybaby. My secret to “flake busting” are two simple ingredients: humor and persistence.  I just keep on trying while also keeping it funny. If she says “no,” I say, “yes”—but I say yes with a smile.

From there, I keep the “ball in the air” (as my friend Paul Jankalikes to say). I keep “bumping” whatever objection she makes with playful banter. In the examples above, the girls still tried to flake and make excuses, but I just kept joking and countering their excuses. Only two things can eventually happen: she’ll just completely ignore you, or she’ll meet up with you.

But if you’re truly keeping it playful and funny, how can she NOT want to meet up with you? Playful persistence is not only the secret formula for “flake busting,” but it’s also the secret formula for all aspects of dating. That, however, is another article entirely.

All we’re looking to accomplish today is getting her out. And hopefully, if you get the gist of effective “flake busting,” you will be doing exactly that.

>>>To Learn More From Rob, Check Out “The 4 Elements of Game” where he breaks down game into four simple adjustments.



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About Rob J.

Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.

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One Comment

  1. Idriss

    November 1, 2013 at 7:23 pm

    After when you get a girl number what next should you do, text or call her and how long should that be and what should you be talking about.

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