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The First Five Minutes of a Date

Instead of bombarding me with the normal ?interview style? questions I got from the dozens of other girls I had gone out with, she went right into swapping funny stories with me. And when the conversation took an unexpected ?sexual? turn, instead of turning into a ?celibate monk? (a role I usually played when the topic of sex came up on a date) I casually chatted about some of my previous sexual encounters, and made no effort to hide the fact that, yes, I LIKE SEX.

The date ended with a long passionate make out session in my car. It was the first good date I had since my college years. At first, I just chalked it up to the fact that she was a cool girl. But the more I thought about it the more I came to realize it was EVERY THING I DID that brought that side out of her. And a more empowering thought came to my mind ?? ?What if I can get those same results with all my dates??

So for the next couple days I replayed the night in my mind and took notes of exactly what made the date so different. And I realized I did 5 Key things within the first 5 minutes:

1.? I assumed rapport, which let us skip the boring ?get to know you? chit chat that would crush the momentum of my previous dates.

2.? I set the frame of the date, instead of waiting for the woman to dictate what was acceptable behavior on the date I basically displayed to her ?this is what the date is going to be like??

3.? I played offense instead of defense, instead of just trying not to offend her, I instead actively attempted to make the date fun.

4.? I initiated ?touching? immediately, which made the make out session much easier later on since she was already comfortable with my hands touching her.

5. I dropped the act and was myself. I like drinking, I like sex, I like to tell funny stories, yet, oddly this was the first date where I allowed myself to express this part of my personality.

As I looked over the five techniques on my list it began to all come together.


That is all you are responsible for creating on a date. And more importantly, you are the one responsible for creating it. A woman is going to follow your lead on a date. If you act nervous; she?ll act nervous. If you hide your personality; she?ll hide her personality. If you take on the roll of ?strangers?; she?ll act like a stranger. If you come across as a celibate monk; she’ll hid her sexual side too. However, the opposite is just as true:

If you are cool, calm, and comfortable; she?ll be cool, calm, and comfortable. If you express your true personality; she?ll express hers. If you assume rapport right from the beginning; she?ll act like she’s known you for years. If you are comfortable with your sexuality; she’ll be comfortable with hers.

Do you enjoy your dates?

If you find yourself going on ?dead end? dates, rarely sparking a connection with a woman, or can?t seem to progress physically with the women you?re dating, then your first step is to look at the ?role? you?re playing on the date. Are you playing the ?role? of the fun, laid back, sexual guy? Or are you playing the ?role? of the boring, stiff, celibate guy?

I think if you pay close attention you?ll notice that women are following YOUR lead. While you may think women just aren?t responding to you, more than likely you?re TRAINING them to behave that way to you.

?Here?s proof you can try for yourself!?


I have a simple exercise that I want you to try the very next date you go on. I want you to treat the woman you go out with like she is an old friend you’ve known for years. Everything you do should convey this attitude.?The smile you give when you greet her. Your level of comfort talking to her. Your level of comfort touching her. The amount of your personality you share with her.

When you meet the girl to begin the date, instead of starting off with boring small talk, jump right into a humorous story that has happened to you or someone you know recently. When she tells you a story about her life, instead of jumping into interview mode and asking questions make statements like ?that?s just like you to do that?? or ?I can totally see you acting this way.?

Treat her like an old friend.

When you begin to do this not only will you begin looking forward to dates, as you?ll be enjoying them much more, but you?ll also find that women will EAT this UP.?This is completely different then what most guys do.? Which makes your ?fun? seem even more impressive and powerful. The fact is, turning ?small talk? fun, and having the ability to express your personality in a quirky and exciting way is to crucial to connecting with women.

If you want women to feel attraction towards you, you must first get them comfortable enough to open up around you. And the easiest way to do this is by creating a ?fun? atmosphere. After years of studying this topic, I put together a complete package on creating fun, playful, and sexual conversations with women.

It?s called Conversation Escalation: Make Small Talk Sexy.

I want you to check it out, so that you can learn exactly how to communicate to a woman on a date in a way that allows her to have enough fun with you to feel attraction and sexual desire.

Learn the art of Conversation Escalation now.

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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

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