Sex and the Suburbs: Tumultuous Texting

You get the idea. This is when life becomes complicated and us women feel the need to respond (in our wordy fashion) to each text which as you can imagine becomes very time consuming and possibly costs big bucks. Truth be told, some of us still don?t have unlimited text messaging in our cell plan. RECOGNIZE! Is it necessary really? Is it that hard to pick up the phone and call me? Besides, let?s be honest ? you probably don?t really care what I am up to, doing later, etc. You are just making small talk, being nice, bored, whatever ? I get it ? so should you! Big boys call on the telephone. Cowards use the power of the index fingers. Which one are you?

Although the last two scenarios suck pretty badly, there is nothing more flattering than the drunk text. If you really like a girl, this will surely win her over! Yeah, right?? Being that I am in my 30?s, I really, really thought this part of my life was over. Alas, drunken texting is for all ages apparently. So rude, so tacky ? just don?t embarrass yourself.? Liquid courage is such a sad, sad thing in my book.

I was at a party with some friends. I was the designated driver (sober) that night because I had attended a party the night before and drank waaaaay too much!? I wasn?t feeling like drinking at all but I had an obligation so I went. Halfway through the night I met a guy that was kind of cute. He, along with most of the people at the party were drinking quite heavily. Anyway, we talked a bunch and at the end of the night I gave him my number.? Then the next day I get this text (this one was a sober one too!) ? Received on Sunday, August 16th at 7:22 pm:

Peter Pan: ?Hey Jill. It?s Peter. Just wanted to let you know last night was fun. Perhaps we should do it again sometime, when you?re not as beat up from the night before.?

Um really? WTF!? First of all this is somewhat insulting. Does he mean I look ?banged up?? And do what again? Watch him drink? Get drunk with him? What the heck does this mean?? So I ask:

Me: ?Um, not sure what you want to ?do again?. I am not really up for getting wasted anytime soon but if you want to do something else, let me know.?

Peter Pan: ?Sounds good, I?ll be in touch.?

Ok ?? so maybe I am over-analyzing ? it is very possible. I just figure I?ll see what happens. This is what happened ? Friday, August 21st at 1:55 am:

Peter Pan: ?Yoooo?

Me: SLEEPING ZZZZZ ? Awoken by ::beep:: ? ?Um, excuse me but did you just drunk text me?!?

Peter Pan: ?Huh? What? Maybe. Um yea???

Me: ?DELETE?

End of story ? lame ? so lame ?

I can?t even tell you how many guys I have stopped talking to because they can?t get up the nerve to call or be upfront, yet they can send me these detailed late night drunk texts exposing their innermost feelings. Sexy … nope, not so much. I dated this one guy on and off and the relationship literally caved because he was not confident enough to speak to me so he?d always, always text me instead.

Finally, my worst text experience yet ? The ?Dear John? text. About a month or so ago I met this GREAT guy. I mean, truly I thought I had finally met someone I clicked with.? He was very kind, polite and honest. He lived about an hour from me but was willing to take the time to get to know me. We met halfway for dates, real dates that didn?t involve getting liquored up. We discussed everything openly, shared stories, lots of laughs. We spoke on the phone everyday for hours ?. In addition to quick texts during the day just to say hello, how was your day, etc. I was very cautious as to not rush things but he had invited me to meet his sister, friends ? even asked me to go to a wedding with him that was well over a month away. Last week, he mentioned that an ex-girlfriend?s mother had passed. He was hesitant about going because he was concerned she would get the wrong impression and he did not want to pursue a relationship with her. However, he felt that paying his respects was the right thing to do. He told me upfront and assured me not to worry as I assured him that his actions were very noble and kind. I am not going to lie, I did get slightly worried, but I believed what he had told me. I had no reason not to. After all, what is life without taking chances? Anyway, he was leaving the next morning for the weekend. We spoke and he told me he?d call me when he was settled. To make a long story short, the next day he TEXTED me that he couldn?t see me anymore because he realized, after seeing his ex that he still had feelings for her. He said it wouldn?t be fair to pursue anything with me.

Seriously, I am heartbroken ? it still hurts. I didn?t see it coming ? not one bit! Worse than the heartbreak though was the fact that he didn?t even have the decency to call me! All of that time we had spent talking over the last month and I didn?t even get the courtesy of a phone call. I simply responded, ?I understand you can?t help the way you feel, but after all we have spoke about and shared, I can?t believe you didn?t even give the courtesy of a phone call. So sad?. And with that, I deleted his number. If ever to be a man, that was the time. Don?t be that guy. There is nothing worse than a coward.

I guess my point is that texting has its time and place. Over-texting and texting about serious matters are not only tacky, but these actions make one look as if they are lacking confidence. This is the least attractive quality in a man.

Lastly, I will leave you with this ? Anytime you text information you are putting yourself out there. It is in writing and can come back to haunt you!? Don?t be a moron? THINK BEFORE YOU TEXT!? Happy typing 🙂