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The Wrong Reasons to Have a Girlfriend/Wife
There are three reasons a man should marry a woman, or commit to her as a boyfriend:
1. You want to. You love this woman so much that you don’t even think about other women.
2. You have a child with her and you don’t want to that child to be raised by a single mom, or be aborted (or adopted).
3. You feel desire for other women, but you don’t want to lose this woman. It’s more important that you keep her than play with other women, because she fulfills you more than playing around does. (This is probably the most common “good” reason.)
Here are some crappy reasons that I’ve had guys tell me they fell into.
You’re 40, 50, or 60, and you feel like this is the last woman you’ll meet. Guess what: if you think like that, it’s true. I’ve met 60-year-old men that were sleeping with several different women. Once you learn how to deal with women, you’ll only get better, for two reasons.
First, the reason why you got better with women was because you increased your self awareness. There’s no other way. So being more self-aware means you will always consciously improve.
Second, you gain experience, and experience gets exponential results. If you aren’t ready to “settle down,” don’t! Ask yourself, “Why do I want to be stuck with one woman? Do I love her? Is it for life insurance? Is it to have someone at my bed when I’m about to die? Why?”
You Think You Can’t Do Any Better
This is probably the most common reason guys settle down. They tell themselves they found The One, when really, secretly, they think they found the “best one so far” and don’t want to gamble on their future odds.
This is the reason why guys are unhappy in their dating lives – they are stuck with a woman that the don’t really like. I’ve been there too. It’s frustrating because you don’t want to dump the girl and hurt her feelings. At the same time, you don’t feel turned on by her anymore. You just want to get rid of her!
You should only marry a woman that turns you on, because a sexless marriage is doomed.
You Have One Idiosyncratic Mutual Interest
This relates to conversation. If you can’t talk to your woman about anything and everything, or nothing at all, you will struggle to keep the fun going. After awhile, sex becomes less important, and conversation becomes more important.
This is more for the “girlfriend issue” and less for the “marriage issue.” Guys tend to date women in their close social circle, which often means that they share one common interest, for example, a type of music. This is not a foundation for a relationship. You must have chemistry, beyond specific topics of interests.
She’s Sexual – Like Exceptional
This is my biggest weakness. If a woman can rock me in the bedroom, I start to fall in love. Be careful. Good pussy, good head, freakiness, submissiveness … it doesn’t substitute for a good mind.
Long-term relationships really come down to “the kids.” Will she be a good mother? That’s what you have to think about if you are going to see a girl longer than 6 months. For me, I think about that after one date, but I’m super selective. You have to think about your time as an investment, because that’s how a woman thinks. If you date a woman for a long time, with no intention of being with her for life, you are wasting her time and yours.
Be careful with women. She doesn’t want you to be with her out of obligation or sexual lust. She wants you to be with her because you love her. If you don’t love her, you owe it to her to be honest, and give her the chance to invest her time with someone who does.
Find out what type of girl she is. Use these 3 questions to read her mind, and the give her exactly what she wants. Click here to learn the secret to reading her mind.